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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 51 to 75 of 163. Go back in thread:
Posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 18:54:30
In reply to Re: please be civil » justyourlaugh » Deneb, posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2005, at 10:30:47
> Please don't be sarcastic or suggest that others suggest that you harm yourself.
I'm sorry. I know now it was a horrible thing to say. BTW, did you just make up this rule that we cannot suggest that others suggest that one harm oneself? (That sure was a confusing sentence!...there must be a better way of wording that!)
Have you ever had to use this rule before? Or did I force you to make it up? :-(
thanks for warning me
Deneb
Posted by crushedout on July 11, 2005, at 20:01:33
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil?, posted by Dr. Bob on July 11, 2005, at 9:35:53
well, i really don't want to be responsible for getting anyone blocked but there seems to be a fairness issue here.if it's not civil, and alex has been blocked before, why isn't she being blocked now? especially given that other people have gotten blocked with far less warning.
Posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 20:03:10
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 18:54:30
I just realized something...if I hurt jyl by suggesting that she was suggesting I should hurt myself...does that mean I hurt Dr. Bob when I kept questioning whether he wanted me dead?
Does that mean I hurt my p-doc as well when I talk casually about death?
Does it really hurt people that much? I mean, it is me who will die, not you.
?
Deneb
Posted by crushedout on July 11, 2005, at 20:08:06
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? If so, please explain why. » crushedout, posted by alexandra_k on July 10, 2005, at 23:59:13
Just because you begin a sentence with "I" doesn't make it an I-statement. As I said, read the FAQ.
Posted by crushedout on July 11, 2005, at 20:09:35
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? If so, please explain » crushedout, posted by gabbii on July 11, 2005, at 0:41:46
whoops, gabbi, didn't realize you'd already made my point. better than i did, i might add. thanks.
Posted by crushedout on July 11, 2005, at 20:13:08
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 20:03:10
if you die, you won't hurt anymore. only the people left will be hurt.
also, if you are threatening to kill yourself, that understandably causes people who care about you a great deal of anxiety and pain.
Posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 20:32:05
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 20:03:10
>I mean, it is me who will die, not you.
This should be:
...it is I who will die, not you.
right?
Deneb
Posted by crushedout on July 11, 2005, at 20:42:50
In reply to Re: grammatical error?, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 20:32:05
Posted by Dinah on July 11, 2005, at 20:43:17
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 20:03:10
but yes, I feel pain. I imagine your pdoc feels pain.
I feel pain when people talk about suicide. I feel a lot more than mere pain when people imply that they would commit suicide or hurt themselves because of my actions or to make me happy.
I wish I could say I've never said that. I probably have. And no doubt caused my fair share of pain in my life.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 12, 2005, at 3:24:55
In reply to Re: I rescind my DNP request to JYL, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 18:47:18
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 12, 2005, at 3:34:24
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? » Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on July 11, 2005, at 20:01:33
> if it's not civil, and alex has been blocked before, why isn't she being blocked now?
Mainly because I thought she and Deneb worked it out. I'm sorry if that doesn't seem fair to you.
Bob
Posted by AuntieMel on July 12, 2005, at 8:30:07
In reply to Re: please be civil, posted by Deneb on July 11, 2005, at 20:03:10
There are people here who have had close friends or relatives who have taken their own lives.
Merely bringing up the topic can open wounds for them. It is far worse when it is a surprise.
Putting *trigger* in the subject line helps by telling them not to look.
Posted by crushedout on July 12, 2005, at 9:30:57
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil?, posted by Dr. Bob on July 12, 2005, at 3:34:24
I wasn't aware that if you "worked things out" with someone, you don't get blocked. Deneb didn't even mind what alex said. So if I post something uncivil to Dinah, and it doesn't bother her, and then we talk about how it's all good between us, you won't PBC or block me?
Posted by gabbii on July 12, 2005, at 11:28:43
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? » Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on July 12, 2005, at 9:30:57
Dr. Bob in a post to Toph, you said it really wasn't about whether or not posters worked things out between them, you'd P.B.C them anyway because it's a public board and you don't want other readers to have to be affected by it.
Posted by gabbii on July 12, 2005, at 14:16:29
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? » crushedout, posted by gabbii on July 12, 2005, at 11:28:43
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2005, at 0:55:50
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? » crushedout, posted by gabbii on July 12, 2005, at 11:28:43
> Dr. Bob in a post to Toph, you said it really wasn't about whether or not posters worked things out between them, you'd P.B.C them anyway because it's a public board and you don't want other readers to have to be affected by it.
Right, that's the other side, and balancing the two can be hard. Do you have a link to that post? I'd be happy to take another look...
Bob
Posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 22:12:33
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil?, posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2005, at 0:55:50
I tried to find it yesterday, but I'll look again.
Posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 22:19:32
In reply to Re: Dr. Bob, is this civil? » Dr. Bob, posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 22:12:33
> is it not condescending for Bob to stop the discourse when both parties may not want his intrusion?
>
> TophOne issue here is that posts aren't just between two people. Posters can discourse however they like by email, but what they post affects the environment for everyone.
Dr.Bob
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050128/msgs/455033.html--
Posted by alexandra_k on July 14, 2005, at 9:55:16
In reply to Here is the link Dr. Bob, posted by gabbii on July 13, 2005, at 22:19:32
the post
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041218/msgs/442385.html
the block
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041218/msgs/442432.html
Posted by alexandra_k on July 14, 2005, at 9:58:19
In reply to Re: Here is the link Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on July 14, 2005, at 9:55:16
Though it got going a bit before that...
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041218/msgs/442290.html
and
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041218/msgs/442316.html
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 15, 2005, at 23:03:38
In reply to Re: Here is the link Dr. Bob, posted by alexandra_k on July 14, 2005, at 9:55:16
> > you said it really wasn't about whether or not posters worked things out between them, you'd P.B.C them anyway because it's a public board and you don't want other readers to have to be affected by it.
> >
> > gabbii> the block
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20041218/msgs/442432.htmlThanks for the links. I guess one factor is how uncivil the posts are. Does that make sense?
Bob
Posted by crushedout on July 16, 2005, at 10:25:14
In reply to Re: Here is the link, posted by Dr. Bob on July 15, 2005, at 23:03:38
For the record, Dr. Bob, it is my impression that alex posts things regularly that other people (myself included) get PBC'd or blocked for but for some reason you usually seem to let it go with her, and I'm perplexed by this injustice. I don't intend this to be uncivil (and I hope it's not) -- it's just my observation and I hope you will make a note of it, and be careful not to favor certain posters unfairly in the future (whether that means not PBC'ing or blocking so much, or PBC'ing or blocking favored posters more, it doesn't matter that much to me).
Note: I am not judging alex's posts negatively --just noting the differential treatment of objectively similar behavior. One example: with testing the vulgar language automatic filter -- she has often pointed out its deficiencies in ways that have involved posting vulgar language. When I did the same thing -- with a *very* innocuous term, I might add (crazy-*ss)-- I got warned. This was a while ago, but I remember it and have noted similar injustices since then.
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 1:13:57
In reply to a complaint » Dr. Bob, posted by crushedout on July 16, 2005, at 10:25:14
> I hope you will ... be careful not to favor certain posters unfairly in the future
I'm sorry if I've treated you unfairly. I've tried not to. Favoritism is often a concern in groups.
> I am ... just noting the differential treatment of objectively similar behavior. One example: with testing the vulgar language automatic filter -- she has often pointed out its deficiencies in ways that have involved posting vulgar language. When I did the same thing -- with a *very* innocuous term, I might add (crazy-*ss)-- I got warned.
The behavior was similar, but I responded differently before the filter was in place...
Bob
Posted by Deneb on July 17, 2005, at 9:53:05
In reply to Re: a complaint, posted by Dr. Bob on July 17, 2005, at 1:13:57
<snip> Favoritism is often a concern in groups.
Does this mean that you acknowledge that sometimes your responses are affected by favoritism?
Posted by Dinah on July 17, 2005, at 10:30:22
In reply to Re: a complaint, posted by Deneb on July 17, 2005, at 9:53:05
My guess, since Dr. Bob is interested in group dynamics, is that it's a general comment. Perhaps something he read in "The Large Group Re-Visited: The Herd, Primal Horde, Crowds and Masses".
And something that I'm quite sure he keeps in mind at all times.
(By the way, Dr. Bob. I ordered that book and read a bit of it to gain a better understanding of you since you quoted it. It seemed a bit depersonalizing, you know?)
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