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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 22 to 46 of 58. Go back in thread:
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 19:22:03
In reply to Re: Civility » Fallen4myT, posted by Elle2021 on March 6, 2004, at 19:15:02
Elle again thanks...I keep hoping the thread will go back to goofy fun....and too late I have posted a few more times there in part to clarify in part to fix my mistake if any....If I end up staying maybe we can start a new fun thread ..I dont have but a web picture of my T and its on my harddrive...just nice to have it. I would never ask.,.really in person I am VERY shy.
Thanks and let me know if you have time what you think on my fix? I think Dinah is not online right now?
HUGE HUGS AND THXS
Posted by gabbix2 on March 6, 2004, at 19:33:05
In reply to Re: Civility » Elle2021, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 19:22:03
I think repeating what your T said might be an exception to the civility rules, meaning it might be okay that you repeated that your T thought what was said was insensitive.
What I can tell you for sure is that the dramas that happen that seem irreparable that change the whole tone of a thread overnight change back just as fast, so don't despair okay? Just wait to talk to Dinah or Dr. Bob.
I remember when I though getting a PBC would be the end of the world-- that seems so funny to me now! Those were such innocent days.
Posted by Elle2021 on March 6, 2004, at 19:40:31
In reply to Re: Civility » Fallen4myT, posted by gabbix2 on March 6, 2004, at 19:33:05
How about we leave that thread alone now and start a new fun one on Psychological? Any ideas?
I'm trying to brainstorm... :)
Elle
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 19:43:17
In reply to Re: Civility » Fallen4myT, posted by gabbix2 on March 6, 2004, at 19:33:05
Thanks...I am more confused than upset on the civility issue :) I THINK I have fixed it and am waiting on Dinah and or Dr Bob but I think Dinahs on more :) Youre all great and very supportive I really really appreciate that. I am afraid I did find a YOU deal way up on the thread but if I fix it now...its not so smart cause I think me and THE OTHER poster have agreed to let it go...so to bring it all back up would be a mess eh?
AGAIN MEGA THANKS
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 19:46:43
In reply to Fallen4myT, posted by Elle2021 on March 6, 2004, at 19:40:31
OK GIMME A FEW MINUTES...I gotta potty :) And eat...I have been on for hours reading posts lol
I am smitten with my T and seem to like those kinds of threads but ?
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 20:05:50
In reply to Re: Fallen4myT » Elle2021, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 19:46:43
LOL ELLE I FOUND IT..I love it and thanks..My husband hasnt spoken to be all day he is the only human I see most days and everything that can go wrong has and your new thread was what I needed :)
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 20:19:09
In reply to Re: No, don't leave over something like this! » Racer, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 18:10:31
I'm sorry! I was away from my computer. I just wanted to give you a heads up about the I statements. It was just the post here mainly. I haven't looked closely at the post on Psychological on the thread in question that you made *after* Dr. Bob gave you the Please Be Civil, so I don't know if that one used I statements or not. But I was pretty sure the post at the top of this thread would be a problem and wanted to give you a chance to fix it.
And Racer, this may be why I don't do this more often. I'm not sure if I didn't cause more harm than good. The road to h*ll and all that.
Give me a few minutes. I just got in. I'll try to explain more.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 20:28:06
In reply to Re: Oh good heavens! » Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 20:19:09
Dinah thank you..I think I fixed it so please dont regret helping me out :) I just get lost in these fuzzy areas
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 20:48:58
In reply to Civility, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 12:50:51
Ok, my concern was that these statements were going to earn you a block, since Dr. Bob had already warned you to be civil.
> Clearly SHE has issues she needs to work out as my T said..
Even if your therapist said it, it's against the civility guidelines to "jump to conclusions about others".
> after I emailed him her nasty post which was that he felt she was insensitve and well its all on that thread.
That first part of that statement would be fine if you leave out the "nasty". I'm not sure about the word "insensitive", since Dr. Bob has blocked people for quoting even on board statements before.
> I spoke from experience MINE on what my T said about her inflammarory post. I am confused.
Again, if you left out the word "inflammatory" that statement would be fine.
Since you asked for clarification of my original post...
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 20:54:29
In reply to Re: Civility, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 20:48:58
Dinah thank you I get it yet to be honest don't but at this point I think I did all I can. I wrote a sorry post and changed it a bit. I am lost and will watch my words but the post was insensitive the poster has since agreed so I am lost there but will watch it ..So, what else do you think I should do? And really thanks :) Youre very sweet to waste your time on my issues with writing
HUGS
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 21:05:02
In reply to Re: Civility » Dinah, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 20:54:29
Well, the problem is, that the guidelines still don't allow you to say that someone's post was insensitive, even if the other person has agreed that it was insensitive. Someone once got blocked for doing *exactly* that. So the third sentence in the below post would be in accordance with the civility guidelines if you ended it with "watch my words". Or at least that's my take on it. I could be wrong, and I'm going to let Dr. Bob sort it all out. I must be too tired to be explaining properly. And overall, I think I may do more harm than good when I try to give a heads up. :( So I'm going to get out of the warning business.
> Dinah thank you I get it yet to be honest don't but at this point I think I did all I can. I wrote a sorry post and changed it a bit. I am lost and will watch my words but the post was insensitive the poster has since agreed so I am lost there but will watch it ..So, what else do you think I should do? And really thanks :) Youre very sweet to waste your time on my issues with writing
>
> HUGS
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 21:19:35
In reply to Re: Civility » Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 21:05:02
Dinah please don't give up helping and warning people cause of me, I am just stupid and I am sure anyone else would get it. Being it is the same post he told me to be civil on I don't know why he would go back to it (?) and the same word he posted on me to be civil on but I did say sorry and thats really all I know how to do. Anyhow, thank you and do not give up you will reach others some people like me are too dense :(
Sorry :(
{{{ Dinah }}}
Posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 21:24:13
In reply to Re: Civility » Dinah, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 21:19:35
I'm certainly not saying that. I just think that my warning started a firestorm and it would probably be wiser in the future to say nothing.
Posted by gabbix2 on March 6, 2004, at 21:26:23
In reply to Re: Civility » Dinah, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 21:19:35
hey hey hey...
I don't know how long you've been aroung babble
but please don't be so hard on yourself. If you look at the past admin threads you'll see how many people have been baffled by the "I" statement rules.
I think it's the biggest ongoing subject on this board
SO many people get tripped up by it and they aren't dense or even Uncivil in the true sense of the word most of the time IMO.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 21:29:02
In reply to Re: Civility » Fallen4myT, posted by Dinah on March 6, 2004, at 21:24:13
I know YOU'RE not saying that...I AM AND DID...I really am kinda stupid...that is really all. You were JUST NICE and helpful...nothing wrong with that. Like I said before I said I am sorry on the thread. That is really all I know to do.
HUGS AND THANKS AGAIN
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 21:31:45
In reply to Re: Civility » Fallen4myT, posted by gabbix2 on March 6, 2004, at 21:26:23
Thanks Gabbix2, I am just sitting here just NOT knowing what else I can/could do :( Thats sweet of you to say and thanks I just can't seem to do much right is all. But your very kind and thank you :)
HUGS
Posted by shar on March 7, 2004, at 0:24:16
In reply to Re: Civility » Fallen4myT, posted by gabbix2 on March 6, 2004, at 21:26:23
Oh, Gab, I do, indeed, like your style. You remind me of me...in my younger days, of course. Your points are good, accurate, and well thought out. I hope you never leave PB. What a loss that would be!
xoxo
Shar> hey hey hey...
> I don't know how long you've been aroung babble
> but please don't be so hard on yourself. If you look at the past admin threads you'll see how many people have been baffled by the "I" statement rules.
> I think it's the biggest ongoing subject on this board
> SO many people get tripped up by it and they aren't dense or even Uncivil in the true sense of the word most of the time IMO.
>
>
Posted by terrics on March 7, 2004, at 11:41:04
In reply to Re: Civility » terrics, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 16:10:41
Please think before you go. It is nice here except for an occasional trouble maker, and you are contributing alot.
Also thanks for looking for an SI site for me as SI has become a big problem. terrics
Posted by gardenergirl on March 7, 2004, at 13:54:12
In reply to Re: Civility » Fallen4myT, posted by terrics on March 7, 2004, at 11:41:04
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 7, 2004, at 18:53:37
In reply to I would miss you, Fallen! Please stay (nm), posted by gardenergirl on March 7, 2004, at 13:54:12
Thank you GG, SHAR AND TERRIC...It may not be in my hands we shall see and IF I go or have to I will really miss all of you youre all so sweet and funny :-)
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2004, at 20:09:38
In reply to Civility, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 12:50:51
> I am confused. I posted what is MY experience with my therapist
Sorry, it sure can get confusing here sometimes. The idea is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down -- even if you're quoting someone else:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Even though that was your experience with your therapist, it could've led Apperceptor to feel accused or put down, so I considered it uncivil.
Regarding I-statements, see Dinah's post:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20040112/msgs/320097.html
In short, as an example, turning "Dr. Bob has gone overboard" into "I feel Dr. Bob has gone overboard" doesn't make it into a real I-statement.
Does that makes more sense?
Bob
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 7, 2004, at 20:20:27
In reply to Re: Civility » Fallen4myT, posted by Dr. Bob on March 7, 2004, at 20:09:38
Thanks Dr. Bob I *think* I got it. To be very honest it's such a fine and gray line for ME to GET. I think i will just be very vague or something to be safe :D. Again I really am sorry I messed up. Won't happen again
HUGS
>>In short, as an example, turning "Dr. Bob has gone overboard" into "I feel Dr. Bob has gone overboard" doesn't make it into a real I-statement.
Does that makes more sense?
Bob >>
Posted by crushedout on March 8, 2004, at 20:14:49
In reply to Re: Civility » Elle2021, posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 14:21:31
Posted by Phil on March 8, 2004, at 21:43:45
In reply to no fallen please don't leave i need you! (nm) » Fallen4myT, posted by crushedout on March 8, 2004, at 20:14:49
Posted by crushedout on March 8, 2004, at 21:46:58
In reply to Re: Everybody freeze, don't move. Ahhhh..... (nm), posted by Phil on March 8, 2004, at 21:43:45
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