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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 41 to 65 of 65. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on February 15, 2004, at 21:11:20
In reply to Re: Sorry to have upset you, posted by Jai Narayan on February 15, 2004, at 20:51:02
Posted by shar on February 15, 2004, at 22:05:47
In reply to Re: Thank you. :) (nm) » Jai Narayan, posted by Dinah on February 15, 2004, at 21:11:20
But, I still want to extend my appreciation and thanks to Dinah, Phil, Jai....all of you that understand!
xoxo
SharP.S. This potato has butter and sour cream. OMG, Am I In Heaven???
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 16, 2004, at 9:27:21
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by gabbix2 on February 14, 2004, at 1:18:53
> > > I got blocked for 9 weeks calling an email from someone here abusive and threatening..
> >
> > Keeping in mind that the idea here is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused, could you please rephrase that?
>
> I didn't mention any names.Just because you didn't mention any names doesn't mean someone might not feel accused.
> Am I not allowed to say I recieved an abusive e-mail.. ever?
I guess if it were from someone who wasn't here, that might be OK... But is it so important to use that word?
Anyway, could you please rephrase that? Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Dinah on February 16, 2004, at 10:12:06
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » gabbix2, posted by Dr. Bob on February 16, 2004, at 9:27:21
Dr. Bob, wouild it be adequate if Gabbi said "I received an email and was terribly frightened and horrified when I opened it." and Dr. Bob didn't like the way I phrased it on board.
That would be an "I" statement.
Or that she received an email, left out the descriptive phrases entirely, and related the gist of the email?
"I received an email from someone here that said I should have been xxxxx" or "I received an email that said I deserved xxxxx" for example? And Dr. Bob didn't like the words I used to describe the email.
That would have no descriptions in it at all.
It's a fine line, and perhaps Gabbi would find it easier to rephrase if you gave her some examples. A bit more work for you in the short term, but a heck of a lot less bother for you in the long term, as I believe time has proved. Not talking about Gabbi here, but in general.
Remember, we're none of us trained in these things. And even if we'd like to comply, it's sometimes difficult to figure out how to do it in a way that you find acceptable. Posting the link in the FAQ is great, but sometimes that's hard to apply to particular situations.
Even if you give someone a hand by giving them ways of saying something, if they say what you ask them to, I think you can assume that they are trying. Unless maybe you find yourself having to do it with the same person weekly or something.
Posted by GabbiX2 on February 16, 2004, at 11:30:40
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Dr. Bob, posted by Dinah on February 16, 2004, at 10:12:06
Thank you Dinah..
Dr. Bob I'm going to rephrase it, but please try to understand that the the point I was trying to make NEEDED TO INCLUDE THE REASON I WAS BLOCKED.
If I change the wording then how can I possibly make my point?
You wouldn't block me for rephrasing to your idea of civility would you?I did not personally recieve said e-mail, however I read it. I thought it's
sole intent was to attempt to
frighten the recipient by using graphic depictions of violence and Dr. Bob did not
like the way I phrased my description of it.
Posted by GabbiX2 on February 16, 2004, at 11:51:02
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by GabbiX2 on February 16, 2004, at 11:30:40
Dr. Bob didn't like the way I phrased an e-mail
which I found offensive?I don't know what you want here Dr. Bob I'm feeling strangled. I can't possibly make any point. I feel re-victimized by not being allowed to make my point no matter how hard I try to follow your rules. That's the crux of the matter.
Posted by Karen_kay on February 16, 2004, at 12:04:48
In reply to Or, posted by GabbiX2 on February 16, 2004, at 11:51:02
((Gabbi))
It sounds like you could use a hug. Good luck in trying to please, OK.... I hear you and what you're saying. Scream loud if you feel you must. But don't let things get to you. I know I need you here. And I hope I don't need to rephrase this.
Posted by GabbiX2 on February 16, 2004, at 12:14:46
In reply to Re: Or » GabbiX2, posted by Karen_kay on February 16, 2004, at 12:04:48
Oh Bless you! That's all I can say.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 16, 2004, at 14:00:48
In reply to Re: Is this community making you mentally healthier?, posted by henrietta on February 14, 2004, at 18:48:38
> who cares how many anonymous lurkers are injured by mommy and daddys meltdowns in public on a big old board for mental health
I'm sorry if you feel you've been injured here. FYI, you can report an adverse event:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#advent
Still, please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down.
If you have any questions about this or comments about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways to express yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
or post a follow-up here. Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Sabina on February 16, 2004, at 15:02:34
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by GabbiX2 on February 16, 2004, at 11:30:40
gabbi has made two valiant, earnest, and, i feel, quite successful attempts to rephrase her statement to suit your civility guidelines. she also made a comment directed to you in her second post of the day, to the effect that she was unsure of exactly what you wanted.
i notice that you have posted since that time on this thread, but not to put her mind at rest on this matter. i feel like she deserves some validation and feedback so that she doesn't have to feel like she's on the line for a 3x whatever block just because she can't find the elusive magic words or phraseology.
Posted by fayeroe on February 16, 2004, at 21:23:46
In reply to Re: please rephrase that...hey Dr. Bob????, posted by Sabina on February 16, 2004, at 15:02:34
> gabbi has made two valiant, earnest, and, i feel, quite successful attempts to rephrase her statement to suit your civility guidelines. she also made a comment directed to you in her second post of the day, to the effect that she was unsure of exactly what you wanted.
>
> i notice that you have posted since that time on this thread, but not to put her mind at rest on this matter. i feel like she deserves some validation and feedback so that she doesn't have to feel like she's on the line for a 3x whatever block just because she can't find the elusive magic words or phraseology.VERY WELL PUT, SABINA! THANK YOU!!!
Posted by GabbiX2 on February 16, 2004, at 21:45:16
In reply to Re: please rephrase that...hey Dr. Bob???? » Sabina, posted by fayeroe on February 16, 2004, at 21:23:46
Posted by fayeroe on February 17, 2004, at 6:19:56
In reply to Thank you Sabina, Fayroe (nm), posted by GabbiX2 on February 16, 2004, at 21:45:16
I see this issue involving you as another one of the things that I don't understand about Bob. And it hurts me to see you treated badly. You tried. Pat
Posted by EscherDementian on February 17, 2004, at 6:43:38
In reply to Re: Squish}{ all » Phil, posted by GabbiX2 on February 15, 2004, at 19:33:23
> OH Phil I would have squished you too, but you know with three women, one of them was bound to go up in flames.
> (((Phil)))
>SHEESH, and here i am, loyally sitting here with the same piece of duct tape on my forhead since....
mobius,
Escher
Posted by GabbiX2 on February 17, 2004, at 10:12:09
In reply to Re: Squish}{ all, posted by EscherDementian on February 17, 2004, at 6:43:38
Awww, an extra big squish and a kiss right on that duct tape (((Escherdementian)))
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 17, 2004, at 12:01:54
In reply to Or, posted by GabbiX2 on February 16, 2004, at 11:51:02
> > I got blocked for 9 weeks calling an email from someone here abusive and threatening..
> I did not personally recieve said e-mail, however I read it. I thought it's sole intent was to attempt to frighten the recipient by using graphic depictions of violence and Dr. Bob did not like the way I phrased my description of it.
Thanks for working on this, but sorry, but I'm afraid that the above could lead the person to feel accused of attempting to frighten someone else.
> Dr. Bob didn't like the way I phrased an e-mail
> which I found offensive?And that the above could lead the person to feel accused of being offensive.
> I don't know what you want here Dr. Bob I'm feeling strangled. I can't possibly make any point.
What about Dinah's suggestion?
> I received an email and was terribly frightened and horrified when I opened it and Dr. Bob didn't like the way I phrased it on board.
Bob
Posted by GabbiX2 on February 17, 2004, at 12:09:16
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » GabbiX2, posted by Dr. Bob on February 17, 2004, at 12:01:54
Okay I'll take Dinah's suggestion..
I would have found the e-mail to have
been frightening had I been the one to recieve it.
Thanks
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 17, 2004, at 12:35:21
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » GabbiX2, posted by Dr. Bob on February 17, 2004, at 12:01:54
Dr Bob,
What if it is a fact that person / people who received the emails GabbiX2 is refferring to DID feel frightened??
Could she say "emails that caused people to feel frightened and upset"? Thats not an accusation against anyone, but is simply stating an actual fact. Kind if like "the sky is blue today". It doesn't mean that it was anyones intention to make anyone else feel hurt or angry, just a fact that these feelings did occur?
Nikki
Posted by Dinah on February 17, 2004, at 13:41:35
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Dr. Bob, posted by NikkiT2 on February 17, 2004, at 12:35:21
Nikki, as I understand Dr. Bob's rules, it's ok to say you were frightened by an email, but not that the email *caused* you to be frightened.
It takes some real gymnastics sometimes. And I don't always get the distinctions. I live on tenterhooks at times.
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 17, 2004, at 17:11:43
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Dr. Bob, posted by GabbiX2 on February 17, 2004, at 12:09:16
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 17, 2004, at 17:16:44
In reply to Re: please rephrase that » Dr. Bob, posted by NikkiT2 on February 17, 2004, at 12:35:21
> What if it is a fact that person / people who received the emails GabbiX2 is refferring to DID feel frightened??
>
> Could she say "emails that caused people to feel frightened and upset"? Thats not an accusation against anyone, but is simply stating an actual fact.I think that's better, but just because something's true doesn't mean it's supportive to say it. And the idea here is to be supportive...
Bob
Posted by EscherDementian on February 19, 2004, at 6:31:20
In reply to Re: Squish}{ all, posted by GabbiX2 on February 17, 2004, at 10:12:09
AWwwwww, (((gabbiX2)))
It was common knowledge that a kiss on a boo-boo fixed everything....That was before they found out about duct tape, of course.
:)
Posted by shar on February 23, 2004, at 0:46:44
In reply to Re: Squish}{ all, posted by EscherDementian on February 19, 2004, at 6:31:20
btw, ED, I love the squish concept. I've never seen it before.
Shar
Posted by gabbix2 on February 23, 2004, at 10:14:58
In reply to Re: Squish}{ all » EscherDementian, posted by shar on February 23, 2004, at 0:46:44
Oh it was me not that it matters except that you got the first squish. Check the thread before it turned over.
Lets keep it administrative here please. Thanks :)
Posted by shar on February 23, 2004, at 13:36:20
In reply to Re: Squish}{ all » shar, posted by gabbix2 on February 23, 2004, at 10:14:58
Well, damn my eyes! You are so very sweet to squish me, and I hid your light under a barrel! Let me just say that I love the concept still, and feel very bad when I don't attribute things properly. I'm glad you spoke up!
xoGabbix2xo
Shar
This is the end of the thread.
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