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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 14 to 38 of 39. Go back in thread:
Posted by Lou Pilder on September 23, 2009, at 14:39:37
In reply to Lou's response- knohohp, posted by Lou Pilder on September 23, 2009, at 13:29:17
> > Here I am on vacation. I am supposed to be having fun, right? I'm not. Instead I am in a depressed state. I am miserable and I feel bad for the person I am staying with. Yesterday I thought about jumping in front of a train. Then I decided that once I return home that I will end it. I have no hope.
> >
> > In a couple of days I will be spending time with my friend and the horses. Hopefully that will help because right now I see no point in living. I don't even feel like the parnate will help once I start it.
> >
> > Sigh.
>
> Friends,
> It is written here,[...What do you do when you lose all hope...]
> It has been revealed to me that depression is the state of death as in how the mind is functioning and there is something one can do. In a state of no hope, one could be like on the shore of a sea, lost.
> I was on that shore in the state of death which is depression and a great beast came out of the sea which was death itself; and then there was great heat that did not harm me with flames mingled with the waves. And then the sea turned to glass from the great heat and there was a great multitude of people that had gotten victory over death, standing on the sea, having the harps of God, singing a new song. These were the overcomers. They overcame what was causing the death of their soul and hope came into their being.
> I talked to some of those in the multitude. There were 12,000 in 12 groups and one of them came to me riding on a White Horse and said, "To him that overcomes I will give him a new name, a new heart, a new mind and he will sing a new song."
> LouFriends,
It has been revealed to me that there was a creation and at that creation the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy. The new song is of a new creation out of a bondage that can put one into the depths of depression which has been revealed to me to be a death.
Moses, which Jews believe in, and which I also believe, sang this song. He sang it after the Israelites were brought out of bondage and walked on dry ground and saw their captors be closed in on by the sea. This bondage has a parallel. And it is this parallel bondage that I am speaking of in relation to overcomming for people that want to know what they can do if they lose all hope and as it has been revealed to me that one can sing this new song. It is a song of deliverance.
Lou
Posted by Maxime on September 23, 2009, at 20:12:48
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by manic666 on September 23, 2009, at 12:54:34
Plan for now is to get through this holiday and then come home and kill myself. I can't think of anything else. It's keeping me awake at night.
Posted by alchemy on September 23, 2009, at 20:23:19
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on September 23, 2009, at 20:12:48
Maxime, my heart goes out to you. For me I feel worse when I am in situations where I *should* feel happier. Were you the one who told me about Dexpramine? Do you think that would be worth trying again?
And to everyone's responses (except for Lou's) (and especially Scott's) - this thread made me teary. For our pain and our hope and support that we give each other.
Posted by pedr on September 23, 2009, at 20:37:03
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on September 23, 2009, at 20:12:48
> Plan for now is to get through this holiday and then come home and kill myself. I can't think of anything else. It's keeping me awake at night.
Hi Maxime,
I don't know your situation so I did a very quick trawl of some of your recent posts and it looks as though you are in hell after coming off cymbalta and are waiting so that you can start Parnate?I had a similar experience recently when I came off Luvox and Abilify. I could not stop thinking of suicide for long periods and felt inhumanly bad. I very much wanted to be dead, every day.
However I somehow made it through and started Nardil, which (touch wood) has helped a lot and I pray and pray and pray that it continues to do so. So why not try and focus on the Parnate? It might work, just as Nardil has worked for me. I never believed it would but it has. That could happen for you too.
Tell your pdoc the state you are in. Tell him that you are staying awake, thinking of suicide, he may be able to help prescribe something to help you sleep. You will just feel more depressed if you are sleep-deprived.
Try and stay strong, thinking of you,
Pete
Posted by Phillipa on September 23, 2009, at 21:32:44
In reply to Lou's response- knohohp, posted by Lou Pilder on September 23, 2009, at 13:29:17
Lou I have to admit I had no idea you went through a horrible depression also. Glad you survived. Phillipa
Posted by Lou Pilder on September 23, 2009, at 21:48:32
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on September 23, 2009, at 20:12:48
> Plan for now is to get through this holiday and then come home and kill myself. I can't think of anything else. It's keeping me awake at night.
Friends,
It is weitten in the subject line of the initial post here,[...What do you do when you lose all hope...].
It is my intention to post here so that what I know about hope could be given for opportunity to hear. But there is much more to this that may be unbeknownst to some.
In that it is written here, what do you do when you lose all hope, it is my understanding that the word {all} includes any faith in chemicals to take into one's system to regain hope, for that hope is included in the {all} as I understand the grammatical structure of ythe statement. That could mean that regaining hope could come from a different perspective, perhaps a perspective that is unbeknownst to some.
Let us reason together. Could there be consideration that there could be a way to regain hope?
Lou
Posted by PC_Load_Letter on September 23, 2009, at 21:54:36
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope » Maxime, posted by pedr on September 23, 2009, at 20:37:03
> > Plan for now is to get through this holiday and then come home and kill myself. I can't think of anything else. It's keeping me awake at night.
>
> Hi Maxime,
> I don't know your situation so I did a very quick trawl of some of your recent posts and it looks as though you are in hell after coming off cymbalta and are waiting so that you can start Parnate?
>
> I had a similar experience recently when I came off Luvox and Abilify. I could not stop thinking of suicide for long periods and felt inhumanly bad. I very much wanted to be dead, every day.
>
> However I somehow made it through and started Nardil, which (touch wood) has helped a lot and I pray and pray and pray that it continues to do so. So why not try and focus on the Parnate? It might work, just as Nardil has worked for me. I never believed it would but it has. That could happen for you too.
>
> Tell your pdoc the state you are in. Tell him that you are staying awake, thinking of suicide, he may be able to help prescribe something to help you sleep. You will just feel more depressed if you are sleep-deprived.
>
> Try and stay strong, thinking of you,
> Pete
If you have not already tried this, consider asking your doctor about starting lithium right away to get you through the washout period, and please don't make any final decisions until you've tried this or another bridge strategy.
Posted by yxibow on September 23, 2009, at 22:55:49
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on September 23, 2009, at 20:12:48
> Plan for now is to get through this holiday and then come home and kill myself. I can't think of anything else. It's keeping me awake at night.
You can think of anything else, but as all people have noted, it is very difficult... and it is "trite" to say...
There is such a thing as living in the Here and Now. That is what we have. I don't like it any more than anyone else.It takes more energy to concentrate on a plan to exit the Here and Now than to be where you are and let the holiday be what it is...
....but depression talks to people VERY strongly, I know it is an extreme struggle and I am being empathetic. I know there are in the back of my own mind exit thoughts exist but for now, I'm struggling in the Here and Now.
As for the comment about lithium, I would agree that is a very good possibility... it is one of the fastest ways to counteract suicidal thoughts.Lamictal can also do that, though it is a very slow ride and I have no idea if you have tried that or not.
I'd say lithium would be better.
-- tidings
Posted by Gennie147 on September 24, 2009, at 3:53:00
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope » Maxime, posted by SLS on September 22, 2009, at 16:17:32
Hey,
I do exactly what Sam k does!
I shut my system off!!
Same you are right it helps that way A LOT!!
And i totally understand what and how you do it.
It helps to block stuff away and then eventually you start going with the flow and boot up yourself!!
Posted by SLS on September 24, 2009, at 5:48:24
In reply to What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on September 22, 2009, at 11:24:41
I like the lithium idea, too, especially if you have never tried it. You may even find that a low dosage (300-600mg) unlocks a door that allows the other components to your treatment work better.
- Scott
Posted by floatingbridge on September 24, 2009, at 9:04:44
In reply to lithium 'bridge' for washout period, posted by PC_Load_Letter on September 23, 2009, at 21:54:36
Maxime, let us know how you're doing today. I agree with PC. Postpone any decisions now until you've tired another 'bridge'. We're pulling for you!
love and hugs
fb
> If you have not already tried this, consider asking your doctor about starting lithium right away to get you through the washout period, and please don't make any final decisions until you've tried this or another bridge strategy.
Posted by bulldog2 on September 26, 2009, at 15:19:31
In reply to What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on September 22, 2009, at 11:24:41
> Here I am on vacation. I am supposed to be having fun, right? I'm not. Instead I am in a depressed state. I am miserable and I feel bad for the person I am staying with. Yesterday I thought about jumping in front of a train. Then I decided that once I return home that I will end it. I have no hope.
>
> In a couple of days I will be spending time with my friend and the horses. Hopefully that will help because right now I see no point in living. I don't even feel like the parnate will help once I start it.
>
> Sigh.Well sometimes I get in that dreadful place. I feel like i'm on a boat in choppy waters and black cloads overhead. Just ride out this terrible storm and calm waters and a sunny sky lay ahead.
Posted by Maxime on October 3, 2009, at 17:25:41
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope » Maxime, posted by SLS on September 24, 2009, at 5:48:24
Still doing poorly. Will get Parnate on Tuesday. It seems like such a long way away. :-(
Posted by floatingbridge on October 3, 2009, at 17:37:37
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on October 3, 2009, at 17:25:41
Tuesday will come--and I feel you'll be responding to the parnate soon. You're in many people's thoughts (mine, too).
warmly, and still pulling for you,
fb
Posted by Phillipa on October 3, 2009, at 21:22:50
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on October 3, 2009, at 17:25:41
Maxie how was the trip and the horses? Did you ride? Phillipa
Posted by maxime on October 4, 2009, at 16:34:27
In reply to you can make it (((hugs))) » Maxime, posted by floatingbridge on October 3, 2009, at 17:37:37
Thanks FB. Almost ended today but I am still here. Why, am not sure.
Posted by maxime on October 4, 2009, at 16:35:27
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope » Maxime, posted by Phillipa on October 3, 2009, at 21:22:50
It wasn't a very good trip. I worried my friends a lot whilst I there and I felt awful about it. Never go on holiday when washing out a med, it's not a good idea.
Posted by Phillipa on October 4, 2009, at 19:37:26
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope » Phillipa, posted by maxime on October 4, 2009, at 16:35:27
Maxie I"m sorry just two days left you will make it. Love Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on October 5, 2009, at 22:10:19
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope » maxime, posted by Phillipa on October 4, 2009, at 19:37:26
It doesn't matter anymore. i am dead inside. nothing can help me now. soon i will be dead anyway. i don't matter and no one cares anyway.
Posted by sam K on October 5, 2009, at 23:52:31
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on October 5, 2009, at 22:10:19
MAXINE!! hang in there. I feel for you. I alawys have sucidal thoughts and they are nothing but nasty. You are not worthless and I'm sure alot of people care about you! Dont let the depression/mental illness get the best of you!! keep your head up!
What helps me lately during my worst times is meditation/paying attention to my breathing, so I stay more present. It helps me keep it real and keep rational thoughts.
Posted by phoenix1 on October 5, 2009, at 23:53:01
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on October 5, 2009, at 22:10:19
> It doesn't matter anymore. i am dead inside. nothing can help me now. soon i will be dead anyway. i don't matter and no one cares anyway.
You KNOW I care. You can make it. Tomorrow w/ you pdoc appointment, there is lot's of hope. Give me a phone call during the day to let me know how you are. Your friend, Phoenix
Posted by floatingbridge on October 6, 2009, at 10:46:23
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope » Maxime, posted by phoenix1 on October 5, 2009, at 23:53:01
Maxime,
Did you get your script today? Hope today is a better one for you.
hugs
fb
Posted by Maxime on October 6, 2009, at 14:12:46
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on October 5, 2009, at 22:10:19
I got the script, but no pills. My pharmacy didn't have any parnate and they have to order it. I checked with five other pharmacies in the area and they didn't have it either. I won't have it until after 3:00 pm tomorrow. :-( God is really messing with me.
Posted by Phillipa on October 6, 2009, at 19:35:25
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope, posted by Maxime on October 6, 2009, at 14:12:46
Maxie you can do it and I know the dead feeling inside. Just chicken to take such strong meds to me. See you have it in you!!!! Love Phillipa
Posted by maxime on October 8, 2009, at 15:24:05
In reply to Re: What do you do when you lose all hope » Maxime, posted by Phillipa on October 6, 2009, at 19:35:25
I got the Parnate yesterday. You know what? I didn't even take it today. Can you believe it? I just don't feel like there is any point. I'm so lost.
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