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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 13, 2009, at 13:15:54
Hi,
Listen, I'm just here to ask just for advice. What i'm going through, is "freeze" during a time of the day. I think about responsiblities, and then i realize that, or how hard it is for me to apply them. I feel alot of sadness, I think it's shame because knowing what i do is not good enough. Right now, I don't know if I'm disabled, i can't be in some aspect's because, I've seen myself do things just fine, it's just on certain medication's can i do this. And, when i apply myself to it, It's usally hard, to do routines, even when i have anxiety (that's pretty bad feeling). Yet the view, from my mind, I want to succeed, but there is alway's a deep fear, or a mindset that hold's me back. It's been here, and I want to rid it, yet is this a comfort zone? and will life lose it's quality of life more than it is now?
What is it, if a mediation is known as "addiction potential" yet, i've been on this [dexedrine spansule] for years [since 7thgrade] in the past, and it helps with quality of life in my case. Because how it stimulates, certain sector's of the brain, to function in a way that "I know I can do, and I am doing it properly [work, routine]" With out the constant fear, of "oh no, i messed up". And, the fear that comes, like it's a monster holding you to it's aspect's [socially isolated, stay where you know for fact your not going to humiliation, and lack of energy even when taking Provigel].
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It's alot of aspect's, yet the main one of worry, "Even if i have faith, fear is still there, "Don't go back, it will hurt".
What do think I should tell my doctor? And not going through a whole psychoanaylis, just getting to the bottem with out being direct, rude, just "say it like is". And I know that there are things, that you have to deal with, even including being miserable. Just accept it.
Thanks for anything.
Posted by floatingbridge on September 13, 2009, at 22:49:23
In reply to Advice - unstable, fear, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 13, 2009, at 13:15:54
Hi Rj,
I don't know your Dx's since I'm fairly new here. You mention dexedrine since 7th grade. Is that for ADHD? And you find that helpful? How long have you taken it? I take dexedrine right now and have mixed feelings about it. Yet it helps me function--so I take it. What other meds help you?
I feel a sense of fear at what feels like my core very often. It's painful and frightening. I think I'm going to try another cbt/dbt workshop to help me cope with the fear and anxiety. Have you ever tried group therapy? With a good facilitator, I've found it very helpful. (Though I would get anxious about going!)
I find it works best for me to tell my doctor as clearly as I can what I think and feel, even if it doesn't seem to make sense or seems unanswerable. Not only does it give my pdoc/T more accurate insight and information about me, I feel better having shared my feeling (or thought) and have it heard and accepted by another human being. I feel something like, "oh yeah, I have place on this planet too, just like everyone else." I don't know about you, but I crave connection--only, it scares the pants off me! Maybe you could even print out your post and bring it in?
Hope there was something helpful in all this for you,
Take care,
fb
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 14, 2009, at 12:30:35
In reply to Re: Advice - unstable, fear » rjlockhart04-08, posted by floatingbridge on September 13, 2009, at 22:49:23
Hey fb,
<<<I don't know your Dx's since I'm fairly new here. You mention dexedrine since 7th grade. Is that for ADHD? And you find that helpful? How long have you taken it? I take dexedrine right now and have mixed feelings about it. Yet it helps me function--so I take it. What other meds help you?>>>
I take Nuvigel, which increases attention, and it's better than nothing. It has apect's about it, that provide somewhat of a good "alertness". So, i'm thankful for that. The order which i've taken stimulant's for ADD are Ritilin which began in the 7th grade, then Adderall 8th grade (for about 6 years until 2005, which i started Dextrostat (for classes in TCC) over Adderall for the side-effects. 3 years on Prozac (which isnt a stimulant), from 2006-now, Vyvanse [2008] had a trial with it, it was started at 20mg, moved up to 70mg, then 140 (2 70mg capsules), then Spanusles (dexedrine) 60mg, which was 4 spansules for 12 hour's. Out of all of them, it provided good attention, and more on focus, and social aspect's. D-amphetamine, has this apect about it, stimulantes certain sector's, Nuvigel/Progviel just provides more of a "awakeness/alertness" aspect. Stimualant's where started in the 7th grade, not directly the spansules, I took Adderall XR in high school.
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It's just when, trying to connect sometimes, when i'm in a "good functioning" mode, when things are active, communication is better.
Alot, of the time, i just know it's not being on the proper medication, I had to re-evaulate my medication/s and it came along, yet the ones I was on before work'd, yet I try to offer the best "pleasing" way to say "ok", then it doesnt benefit me, it's more people pleasing, even to a doctor. The less friction there is, the better I am, yet i'll leave the situation untreated (in aspects to keep social sitiation's on track, no friction). Then my thoughts drive me nuts.
Thanks for the response
Posted by floatingbridge on September 14, 2009, at 18:19:02
In reply to Re: Advice - unstable, fear, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 14, 2009, at 12:30:35
Hi RJ,
I know that 'pleasing' thing you mention--I used to do it with my doctors, too (I'm much older now). I think you're right on about having the 'right' medications. Sometimes it can be difficult for me to be my own best advocate when talking to a doctor, but hey, I'm all I got. I tried provigil, and it did not work for me at all. I'm glad you find it effective--I think many people here at babble do, too.
If I could just get some of the social enhancement I get from d-amp in another drug, I think I'd switch to that.
By the way, you mentioned a trial of Vyvanse. Someone here recommended I try it. May I ask what you didn't like about it?
Hope today is a good one for you!
fb
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 17, 2009, at 13:42:12
In reply to Re: Advice - unstable, fear » rjlockhart04-08, posted by floatingbridge on September 14, 2009, at 18:19:02
Vyvanse, Spansules, not much diffrence, yet Vyvanse is mmm less aspect's that dexedrine has, it takes about 30min-1 hour (for me to start it's effect). I thought it lasted 12 hours, for me it lasted usally near 7-8, it caused mood "blunting", in my case that ment..the reward system was already stimulated, it helps you do paper work, tedious tasks, mathematics, helping stuff to be more intresting, I was on 70, then 140, that was the best it could give for me.
The diffrence, Vyvanse is slower to begin, takes it's coast then wear's off. Dexedrine Spansules begin with in 15-30min, and the reason is when it wear's off, you know that it's going to wear off at 3pm say if you took it at 9. So that's a good reside Spansules have over Vyvanse. The release is a bit diffrent, Spansules release "7.5" mg (15mg spansule) then 3 hour's later "7.5". That's what I know, and rerembered how they worked. Vyvanse releases diffrently.
Vyvanse is popular, alot of doctor's have a "sign" for it, i don't know why. Yet it didnt work the best for me.
Hope it helps.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 17, 2009, at 14:04:15
In reply to Re: Advice - unstable, fear, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 17, 2009, at 13:42:12
It's just people have to know "dexedrine spansules". I know have addiction potential, it's printed right in frount of the presciption bag. (The info part, side effect's what to do)
yet I took everyday, went off it, just as Prozac, daily medication, yet the quality of life changed after.
Sometimes using your sub-counsious to do routines, programming it, is good. Well, just always keep good faith, keep for year's that something good is going to happen in life. I've been depressed, about life..ugh! where I am I now? 2009? Well, make a subcousious plan, and just take life as it goes. Thing will change, I pray too much, but at least something to do with your time! ha!
Keep faith for me.
This is the end of the thread.
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