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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Pete1968 on February 26, 2009, at 22:37:41
How can I put this.. Am on 5mg Olanzapine at night and 150mg Venlafaxine. For some reason- which I dont think is imagined, I find that taking this dose at night negates the year long panic I was feeling upon awakening every day. I dont know if its to do with the half life of either or what, all I know is that taking the dose at night rather than the morning seems easier. Anyway my question is this- I feel really flat, thats the best way to describe my state of mind, not exactly depressed, I know what that feels like, and its not good. Neither am I feeling the horrible debilitating anxiety I had become accustomed to this last year or so. This is more as if I have no emotion, just flat. Like I am a zombie. Instead of the forlorn self pity and sense of loss and hopelessness that I associate with depression, or a sense of dread fear, I feel instead nothing, like im sort of dead inside, devoid of joy even in a fleeting sense, no minor buzz from a cigarette or flirting with somebody online like I would expect. No sense of woe or angst which I have somehow gotten used to this last year. Instead all I want to do is lie down and doze. Its the strangest feeling, I am not depressed as I know that to be, its more like i dont feel anything. Is this what its like to be on an AAP? Because if so I dont know if I like it. Its like all sense of pleasure as well as pain has been removed. Which just leaves this grey blah.
For years now I have been enduring GAD and insomnia, chronic melancholic depression and then a full blown bout of MDD after a crisis, but this is worse I think, I am calm but uncaring. Even booze affords no euphoria anymore, all I seem to want to do is sleep. I am also incredibly bored all the time. I am wondering if this is because I have been used to feeling such intense negative emotions for so long that I am somehow missing them and this is in fact 'reality' or if I am doped up and therefore this feeling is itself false? I am curious as to the experiences of others in a similar boat. Basically what Im trying to achieve is remission from my symptoms, which have been horrendous for over a year now, but without this sense of blah that sems to have replaced the emotional rollercoaster which until recently I have been on. For all the pain and anguish I have felt on the rollercoaster I cant help thinking that it was superior to this apathy I feel since upping the Olanzapine to 5mg a night. Th problem for me is that I find it difficult to differentiate between meds and side effects and my actual mood. I cant tell whats me and whats the meds anymore. All I know is that fantasising about suicide daily is probably a reasonably good indicator that all is not well.
Answers on a postcard please. ; )
Posted by Phillipa on February 27, 2009, at 0:40:32
In reply to Feel very strange, AAP stupor?, posted by Pete1968 on February 26, 2009, at 22:37:41
Wow seriously this is the same thing that started happening to me feel dead. And don't know what to do. Only difference is not on an ap it's benzos. I do hope someone can help us both. I just also want to sleep. Is it going around? Seriously? Fatique are you also feeling that? Are you getting out or staying in? Love Phillipa got to go to bed.
Posted by Tomatheus on February 27, 2009, at 1:55:16
In reply to Feel very strange, AAP stupor?, posted by Pete1968 on February 26, 2009, at 22:37:41
> I feel really flat, thats the best way to describe my state of mind, not exactly depressed, I know what that feels like, and its not good. Neither am I feeling the horrible debilitating anxiety I had become accustomed to this last year or so. This is more as if I have no emotion, just flat. Like I am a zombie. Instead of the forlorn self pity and sense of loss and hopelessness that I associate with depression, or a sense of dread fear, I feel instead nothing, like im sort of dead inside, devoid of joy even in a fleeting sense, no minor buzz from a cigarette or flirting with somebody online like I would expect. No sense of woe or angst which I have somehow gotten used to this last year. Instead all I want to do is lie down and doze. Its the strangest feeling, I am not depressed as I know that to be, its more like i dont feel anything. Is this what its like to be on an AAP?
I felt very much the same when I took Zyprexa several years back for my then-depressive illness (bipolar disorder was the diagnosis at the time). I was on the medication for about a month and took doses ranging from 2.5-15 mg/day. The sedative, zombie-like feelings did not go away for me until I stopped the medication.
Tomatheus
Posted by desolationrower on February 27, 2009, at 3:17:30
In reply to Re: Feel very strange, AAP stupor? » Pete1968, posted by Tomatheus on February 27, 2009, at 1:55:16
for me abilify=corpse. i just woudl lie on the floor. it also did nothign to help my anxiety.
-d/r
Posted by Zyprexa on February 27, 2009, at 6:39:51
In reply to Feel very strange, AAP stupor?, posted by Pete1968 on February 26, 2009, at 22:37:41
Thats deffinitly the zyprexa doing that. I don't get it as bad as you. I'm taking 10mg currently. Taking the zyprexa for me is much better than the alternative. Maybe you could go back down on the dose? I don't think other AAPs will be different but who knows. I've tried them all and none are as good as zyprexa. Unlike you I do unfortunaly get uforia from booze and cigs still. I feel a little disconected. Which is actualy a good thing.
This is the end of the thread.
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