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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deanne47yo on May 31, 2005, at 13:29:37
Hi all; I live in an RV and do alot of travelling. I have 3 beautiful dogs, a wonderfull husband and am on disability, making a good sum too. The only thing is I can't believe that this is for real! I am sooooo scared of waking up from a great dream that I want to die in my dream so I don't have to go back to the life I have when I am awakeI am single, and have very little money and my big excursion in the month is to go see my shrink, I have a cat that I don't like very much and I take a ton of meds that makes me act and sound like a drunk.Anyone that calls me on the phone asks if I have been drinking, and of course I haven't, especially 8 in the morning. At night I do like to drink myself stupid and then I cut up my arms and watch them bleed, when I see that it's like I can see the pain I am in, the blood dripping is my bodies way of saying I hurt and cries...As I watch this happening I hope and pray for some kind of relief from my internal pain which no drug can touch....,....back to the dream.....In my dream, right now I am experiencing some serious psychotic problems, have brand new shrink, I don't even live in the same province, I live in the province I always wanted to see but was too far away and too broke to go and see, right now we are parked in a wal-mart getting wifi from a computer store, which means free internet hotspot for those who don't know about wifi., that's another thing , is this possible? Is there really such a thing or is it only in a dream that I can think this?
All I know is that I don't want to wake up, and lose all that I have now and will have in the future in this dream...? I am having ECT again and again , My dream takes place in the 2000's but my real life is in the 90,s right now!!!
HELP!!! What do I do, My hubby in my dream says that I am not dreaming, but I am having a hard time believing him as much as I want to believe him. In real life I don't even have a computer and here I am with a state of the art puter...I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCARED!!!!!!!!! OF LOSING IT ALL!!!!!!!! Especially the one person that understands me, my so called dream hubby, a dream come true for me.I really do not know how to think or what to do because I am getting sicker and sicker and nothing is helping me so far in real life or in my dreams................................................................Deanne/47yo in Canada
Posted by Phillipa on May 31, 2005, at 18:00:25
In reply to Am I really living or is this all just a dream?, posted by Deanne47yo on May 31, 2005, at 13:29:37
I don't know what meds you're on or what your diagnosis is but you need to see a doctor pronto. And it sounds like you probably need to be in the hospital till they find a med combo to help you. Are you suicidal with all that cutting? Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by 4WD on May 31, 2005, at 23:19:48
In reply to Am I really living or is this all just a dream?, posted by Deanne47yo on May 31, 2005, at 13:29:37
I don't understand all you said.
But I agree with Phillippa. I think you need to go to the hospital and be seen by a doctor.
The cutting behaviour is a way to relieve the pain and fear. But it's not a good way.
Please get help.
Marsha
Posted by Deanne47yo on June 2, 2005, at 6:43:35
In reply to Am I really living or is this all just a dream?, posted by Deanne47yo on May 31, 2005, at 13:29:37
> Hi all; I live in an RV and do alot of travelling. I have 3 beautiful dogs, a wonderfull husband and am on disability, making a good sum too. The only thing is I can't believe that this is for real! I am sooooo scared of waking up from a great dream that I want to die in my dream so I don't have to go back to the life I have when I am awakeI am single, and have very little money and my big excursion in the month is to go see my shrink, I have a cat that I don't like very much and I take a ton of meds that makes me act and sound like a drunk.Anyone that calls me on the phone asks if I have been drinking, and of course I haven't, especially 8 in the morning. At night I do like to drink myself stupid and then I cut up my arms and watch them bleed, when I see that it's like I can see the pain I am in, the blood dripping is my bodies way of saying I hurt and cries...As I watch this happening I hope and pray for some kind of relief from my internal pain which no drug can touch....,....back to the dream.....In my dream, right now I am experiencing some serious psychotic problems, have brand new shrink, I don't even live in the same province, I live in the province I always wanted to see but was too far away and too broke to go and see, right now we are parked in a wal-mart getting wifi from a computer store, which means free internet hotspot for those who don't know about wifi., that's another thing , is this possible? Is there really such a thing or is it only in a dream that I can think this?
> All I know is that I don't want to wake up, and lose all that I have now and will have in the future in this dream...? I am having ECT again and again , My dream takes place in the 2000's but my real life is in the 90,s right now!!!
> HELP!!! What do I do, My hubby in my dream says that I am not dreaming, but I am having a hard time believing him as much as I want to believe him. In real life I don't even have a computer and here I am with a state of the art puter...I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCARED!!!!!!!!! OF LOSING IT ALL!!!!!!!! Especially the one person that understands me, my so called dream hubby, a dream come true for me.
>
> I really do not know how to think or what to do because I am getting sicker and sicker and nothing is helping me so far in real life or in my dreams................................................................Deanne/47yo in Canada
Hi all again, thanks for your feedback, really nice to know I am not alone here in this big ole world!!!!........Anyway, I have seen 2 psychs and now have a permanant one, real nice guy from Austria who knows Borderline Personality disorder and all that goes with it like hallucinations/panic/anxiety/dillusions/
depression/confusion/self harm/ suicidal tendencies/etc bla bla blaI am on new meds now, risperidone 2mg bid, clonazepam 2mg bid for now... and the celexa 40mg am and lorazepam (now don't choke) 8 to 12 mgs a day as needed which I am and have been decreasing for a number of months, the doctors all look at me funny when they see the pill bottle and that amount of drug in me and I am not flat on my back in a continuous sleeping beauty sleep....lol but I tell them that is a result of a 20 yr boo-boo on the 3 or 4 docs that have been taking care of me over the years since my shrink left in 1994, I had him for 5 years, and then no one for awhile and then got sick again. but anyway I am doing much better but have to be real careful and take my meds like a good girl should (ha!) just kidding, and by the way that dream hubby I was so afraid to lose, well he has been there through thick and thin never leaving my side, he is for real and we are having our tenth anniversary on July 15th/05!!!!!!! Wow what a wonderful guy I have and that dream life ?, well all is true, dogs and all....isn't that a trip??? Well all I can say is I am glad my hubby kept me out of the hospital, and kept after the docs to get it right with the meds which I think they have finally after a 2 month struggle and after a 2 year search finding the right shrink.
Enough already, bye for now and thanks again... Deanne
Posted by Deanne47yo on June 26, 2005, at 12:14:39
In reply to Re: Am I really living or is this all just a dream?, posted by Deanne47yo on June 2, 2005, at 6:43:35
hello all and thanks for your concern. You were right in that I should be in hospital, I have been a patient now for a week and 2 days! The doc isn't budging on the idea that I go home just yet. I am now on celexa 60mg's take 700mg's Serequel over the course of the day and bedtime.As well as Zyprexa Zidas 50 mg during the day bedtime. and 3mgs Lorazepam during the day and at bedtime...I am feeling a little better now so hopefully this trend will continue.
Thanks again
Posted by Deanne47yo on July 7, 2005, at 12:25:56
In reply to Re: Am I really living or is this all just a dream? » Deanne47yo, posted by 4WD on May 31, 2005, at 23:19:48
Hi everybody: thanks for your posts and concern, it feels good to know I am not alone with this illness. I have just spent 10 days in hospital and am out now and feeling not to bad I guess, still not quite right yet but getting there....
I am addicted to Lorazepam and was up to 10mgs a day and my new psychiatrist took me off of them and now I am just feeling really awful but am on Serequel 150, 150, &500mgs per day and zyprexa 10, 10, &20mgs per day , celexa 60mgs per day, ....It takes awhile to get used to the new meds...
soooo...I am on the mend now thank goodness...
bye for now
Deanne47yo
Posted by Phillipa on July 7, 2005, at 18:59:42
In reply to Re: Am I really living or is this all just a dream?, posted by Deanne47yo on July 7, 2005, at 12:25:56
I hope the new meds help and work for you. Getting off meds is hard especially a benzo. If you feel the need to talk in private Babble me. Fondly, Phillipa
This is the end of the thread.
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