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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by cerodwen on November 7, 2004, at 22:37:41
Hi everybody.
I'm feeling pretty depressed right now. I'm thinking it's the wintery weather kicking in, but I'm also wondering if maybe my meds are starting to "wear off". Have you ever heard of something like this? I've been on topomax for maybe about 3 years at this point. Probably on Lamictal for 1.
Also, I have a question about relationships. As a bipolar person, I'm having a lot of trouble connecting with my friends and forming an intimate relationship with a lover. Do other bipolars out there have this problem? Is this something to do with being bipolar, or is it just me? When I was 18, my stepdad committed suicide, which precipitated the onslaught of my disorder, and then after my first manic episode (and it was a doozy) my best friend in the whole wide world stopped speaking to me and never spoke to me again (her mom filed a restraining order).
In any case, I have trouble trusting people and I'd really like to hear from people across the board, about how they made it through being diagnosed and how they manage their relationships, because I'm feeling very isolated and alone right now, and I would really like to be able to express feelings about how hard it is for me sometimes, but I feel like there exists a gulf between me and my friends.
I am "in the closet" about my disorder, and I also wonder how that works for other people out there about how many of their friends know and if people still like them, or just.... I don't know.
I've had verbal diahrea, but I'm going to stop and see what kind of feedback I get. Thanks for listening.
Posted by Soulnik on November 8, 2004, at 12:06:19
In reply to Topomax Lamictal introspection, posted by cerodwen on November 7, 2004, at 22:37:41
Hey There,
I have bipolar 2 and have been taking Topamax for about a year and just started Lamictal. I am severly depressed and my doctor wants to start me on Lexapro. Aside from my opposition to being his chemistry experiment, I am thinking that I may go ahead and try it because I too am having some serious social issues as well.
I am having a lot of problems connecting with new people and my old friends have been avoiding me for some time. I'm not sure if I am too unpredictable with the mood swings or too sad and depressed or what, but they have made it clear that they do not want to be around me. Most of my conversation revolves around how bad I feel and if it doesn't I am just aware of how awkard I am socally. And I think this is a relatively new thing for me. Or maybe I no longer have the ability to pretend? I don't know. I get nervous or tense and my humour is dreary and often inappropriate. (OK, I think it's funny but most people think it's "dark," for lack of a better word.) I feel desperately isolated and it just exacerbates my depresssion. I can't remember the last time anyone touched me (sexually or otherwise).
My friends know about my bipolar 2 and at first were very supportive. In fact, they were relieved to finally have an explanation because it explained so much of my behavior. But now they are mostly just kind of over it and over me. I wish I could just get some kind of stability. Is that even possible?
Ok, so that's my response to your very interesting topic.
Peace.
Posted by cerodwen on November 8, 2004, at 23:01:08
In reply to Re: Topomax Lamictal introspection » cerodwen, posted by Soulnik on November 8, 2004, at 12:06:19
Hi Soulnik,
thanks for writing back. it just really bothers me that I still suffer from the debilitating downs of this disease when I hear that "so many" people just go on lithium and never suffer any symptoms again. well i tried lithium, and i gained 100 lbs! argh! i had to switch meds before i could lose it.
sometimes it seems like no one is paying any attention to me.
I'm feeling better than I did when I posted last though. I had a nice conversation with my housemate, and she said she thought of me as a friend. Which was nice in a way and sad in a way too because we've lived together for a year and a half and she is one of my closest friends.
I'm really stressed about figuring out which classes i'm going to take next quarter, and I'm really mad that my university won't give me credit for a B.S. even though I've got all the classes I need, except I have taken a non-calculus based physics instead of the calc based physics.
I don't know what I'm going to do after I graduate, which scares the hell out of me. I'm thinking i'll just get a job here in town, but it's hard to find jobs.
I'm worried about money and most of all I just worry about myself. I worry that I'm not capable of leading a normal life. Why aren't my meds working to keep me from getting depressed???!?!?!?! That's what theyr'e supposed to do! I've been bipolar for AGES now, and why hasn't my doctor figured this out yet!! I'm SO MAD.
Thanks for listening, please let me know if you've been though this too, or are facing similiar problems.
This is the end of the thread.
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