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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by sue doe on February 21, 2002, at 9:11:13
I am bi-polar and being treated. My children saw me in an extreme manic state when I was hospitalized. Now I am understanding their significant mood swings and HUGE temper tantrums. They don't want to be evaluated because they can't believe they could be "as crazy as Mom was." Does anyone have any ideas about getting them help, or possibly even home remedies or behavioral management solutions? Thanks for your help.
Posted by Bill L on February 21, 2002, at 9:47:40
In reply to children with big mood swings, posted by sue doe on February 21, 2002, at 9:11:13
Sue- Are your children depressed? I am not real familiar with manic depression. Are temper tantrums part of manic depression? How are their grades in school? Do they each have at least one friend? Do they usually seem to be happy?
I think it can be hard to tell if a kid is just working through normal chilhood stuff like temper tantrums, or if there really is a psychiatric problem needing treatment. I would first discuss the situation with their pediatrician to see what he or she thinks. Primary care doctors prescribe about 70% of drugs for depression.
> I am bi-polar and being treated. My children saw me in an extreme manic state when I was hospitalized. Now I am understanding their significant mood swings and HUGE temper tantrums. They don't want to be evaluated because they can't believe they could be "as crazy as Mom was." Does anyone have any ideas about getting them help, or possibly even home remedies or behavioral management solutions? Thanks for your help.
Posted by Ritch on February 21, 2002, at 10:11:17
In reply to children with big mood swings, posted by sue doe on February 21, 2002, at 9:11:13
> I am bi-polar and being treated. My children saw me in an extreme manic state when I was hospitalized. Now I am understanding their significant mood swings and HUGE temper tantrums. They don't want to be evaluated because they can't believe they could be "as crazy as Mom was." Does anyone have any ideas about getting them help, or possibly even home remedies or behavioral management solutions? Thanks for your help.
I am bipolar/ADHD and had *huge* mood swings as a child. If they are in school...have they been getting into trouble? If they are managing school OK without a lot of fuss I wouldn't get too overly concerned about it. When you start hearing things from the *school* then I would start working on a strategy of getting them evaluated. I guess it depends on whether they are making *you* miserable with their behavior :)Mitch
Posted by Willow on February 21, 2002, at 18:31:46
In reply to Re: children with big mood swings » sue doe, posted by Ritch on February 21, 2002, at 10:11:17
I call mine a pack of wolves because if I show any weakness they are sure to take advantage. Also, having seen their mother ill turns into insecurities. I find with my little ones if they are unable to communicate their thoughts or feelings (hunger tired mad sad etc.) they will have each their own individual form of tantrum. If I can help them figure out what is frustrating them and to find a solution it helps them to control their reactions.
Just because a parent has a mental illness does not mean that their children will have the same. Hopefully with early intervention these children can learn better skills to help lessen their stress levels. I'm not saying that poor coping skills cause mental illnesses, but they definetely make it more difficult to handle. Proper skills will make any endeavour more enjoyable.
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Posted by noa on February 24, 2002, at 15:31:25
In reply to Children will be children., posted by Willow on February 21, 2002, at 18:31:46
I'd say it is a possibility, but unless, like the others say, the school is reporting problems, and if other aspects of their lives are going decently, I would keep an eye on it, but definitely not force the issue with them.
Most kids have some mood swinging, and it's hard to know via this method of communication if your kids are in that normal range or not.The moods could be related to bipolar, but they caould als be developmental, and they could also be part of how the kids are coping with the uncertainties surrounding your illness and the ups and downs you have struggled with, and their worries about you.
As for hearing about how they're doing in school, you don't have to wait for that to happen, you can inquire with the teacher/principal/guidance counselor if you want info beyond the grades you see on their report cards.
However, since they are dealing with your illness, and you are also trying to deal with managing how to parent kids who have mood swings, maybe some family therapy--just to help you with how to cope with their moods and for them to have an opportunity to discuss their feelings about your illness and hospitalization,etc. and for all of you to have a way to discuss how it all affects your relationships, could be helpful. That could also open the door so that the idea of going for help isn't foreign to them. Or if not family therapy, maybe a support group for patients and their families.
I understand your worrying about this. First of all, this kind of thing does run in families, though as others mentioned, it isn't a fate set in stone. Second of all, I know how hyper-alert I get to emerging symptoms in myself--I get all anxious about the symtpoms showing up again, etc., so if I had kids I am sure I would worry about them that way, too. That brings me to the 3rrd of all---with all the suffering you have no doubt endured, you are probably so vigilantly on the alert to prevent it in your kids, so they don't have to go through what you have gone through. For which, of course, you are to be commended! And it is hard, so hard, to walk that fine fine line between being aware and alert and being too vigilant and anxious. Consider it like surfing---you gotta stay on that board, while to the right is negligence and not being alert enough, and to the left is being too hypervigilant and over-worrying---you gotta stay just right in the middle, which sure ain't easy!! And there is going to be a fair amount of wobbling as you ride the waves. I think this kind of ambiguity, and needing to accept the role of "surfer" goes with the territory. But it can be very anxiety provoking. Getting support and help where you can can help you ride the waves more confidently.
That is why it's good you asked us. Also ask someone who has first hand knowledge of your kids.
Take care.
Posted by sue doe on February 24, 2002, at 22:11:03
In reply to Re: Children will be children., posted by noa on February 24, 2002, at 15:31:25
noa: Thank you for a very insightful and well thought out response to my question! The greatest tool in helping my children is love. I believe my own mental breakdown was brought on by the insecurity of facing the loss of my husband's love, which also affected the children. Although I now know that I was "prone" to mental illness, I don't think I would have wound up in the hospital if I had been in a more loving environment. My thirteen year old son just learned to read and spell last year. He is being helped with an IEA and has a conscienscious teacher who cares. He played basketball this year and has been treated like a son by his coach. He now smiles again! My 11 year old daughter has always been very self-secure and kind. But she now has developed horrible tantrums which subside and she is once again very pleasant. You are right I am especially alert to symptoms. My own brother committed suicide when he was 19, another brother is bi-polar, a sister is bi-polar and another is schizophrenic. We are quite a menagerie! Sue Doe
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