Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Anna Laura on May 16, 2001, at 3:35:00
Hi Everybody!
First of all, i don't know if this post ought to be directed to psycho-social babble or not....This issue it's a kind of "hybrid" one, so that it's difficult to decide wether this is going to fit in this forum or in the other one.
Second of all, please forgive me for my english: it's not my language : hope this mail makes sense.....O.K. then, this is my sixt week on Prozac....I felt better for a few days last week (felt more like myself, i had like "micro-awakenings", thought it was rather promising) and all of a sudden it all popped out.
I've been thinking over about this and i was wondering if this poop out could be of psychological kind......I felt like i was getting out of the tunnel and it was a little scary.
I know this is going to sound weird but it was like getting out of jail type-of-thing: i suddenly looked back to my past years and i felt very uncomfortable. "What happened to me?" was my more frequent question to myself. I was puzzled, amazed and very uncomfortable. I noticed with stupefaction that it was actually hard to FEEL happiness and being happy. It was difficult ot smile and be cheerful. It was hard to learn again all the emotion range.
When i entered this tunnel more then ten years ago i was twenty-one, a quite smart and gifted person: i was hypersensitive though, overwhelmed by emotions and disfunctional because of this: i just wonder if this anhedonia it's kind of protecting me even if i counsciously absolutely want to get rid of it.
If i look back in the past years i realize that this dumbness helped me to get more social and to "reach out for things"(getting a job interview, being more assertive with people cause i was finally telling what was in my mind without being afraid of consequences...). It even helped me with relantionships cause i was not anxious any longer : everything smoothed out because of this and i was finally able to carry on a lasting relationship....
Do you know what i mean? I felt "tough" for the first time in my life. And this happened during the years that are supposed to be crucial for a mature and adult person development.....
Do you think this makes any sense or it's just another subtle way to blame myself for things?
Or is it just a rationalize type-of- thing, another way of trying to make sense when there is no sense, a desperate attempt of my own mind to grasp the unexplainable and irrational things, in order to fill the void, like us fragile human beings often do?Anna Laura
Posted by Glenn Fagelson on May 18, 2001, at 21:42:00
In reply to Psychological anhedonia?, posted by Anna Laura on May 16, 2001, at 3:35:00
> Hi Everybody!
>
>
> First of all, i don't know if this post ought to be directed to psycho-social babble or not....This issue it's a kind of "hybrid" one, so that it's difficult to decide wether this is going to fit in this forum or in the other one.
> Second of all, please forgive me for my english: it's not my language : hope this mail makes sense.....O.K. then, this is my sixt week on Prozac....I felt better for a few days last week (felt more like myself, i had like "micro-awakenings", thought it was rather promising) and all of a sudden it all popped out.
> I've been thinking over about this and i was wondering if this poop out could be of psychological kind......I felt like i was getting out of the tunnel and it was a little scary.
> I know this is going to sound weird but it was like getting out of jail type-of-thing: i suddenly looked back to my past years and i felt very uncomfortable. "What happened to me?" was my more frequent question to myself. I was puzzled, amazed and very uncomfortable. I noticed with stupefaction that it was actually hard to FEEL happiness and being happy. It was difficult ot smile and be cheerful. It was hard to learn again all the emotion range.
> When i entered this tunnel more then ten years ago i was twenty-one, a quite smart and gifted person: i was hypersensitive though, overwhelmed by emotions and disfunctional because of this: i just wonder if this anhedonia it's kind of protecting me even if i counsciously absolutely want to get rid of it.
> If i look back in the past years i realize that this dumbness helped me to get more social and to "reach out for things"(getting a job interview, being more assertive with people cause i was finally telling what was in my mind without being afraid of consequences...). It even helped me with relantionships cause i was not anxious any longer : everything smoothed out because of this and i was finally able to carry on a lasting relationship....
> Do you know what i mean? I felt "tough" for the first time in my life. And this happened during the years that are supposed to be crucial for a mature and adult person development.....
> Do you think this makes any sense or it's just another subtle way to blame myself for things?
> Or is it just a rationalize type-of- thing, another way of trying to make sense when there is no sense, a desperate attempt of my own mind to grasp the unexplainable and irrational things, in order to fill the void, like us fragile human beings often do?
>
> Anna LauraDear Anna Laura,
I am not quite sure if I understand everything
that you are saying. However, I can relate
to your fears of coming out of depression. It
is like we have this "relationship" with our illness; it's familiar. For me, not being depressed feels ackward and unfamiliar. Someone
once said, "I'd rather be in Hell rather than Heaven because I know all the roads in Hell.".
Posted by PuraVida on May 18, 2001, at 21:53:07
In reply to Psychological anhedonia?, posted by Anna Laura on May 16, 2001, at 3:35:00
Hi Anna Laura,
Just to clarify - Do you mean you have been depressed, you think, for ten years, and are just now taking Prozac? I can understand being hypersensitive while depressed, but reaching out and feeling "tough" don't seem to be depressive traits in my book, so I'm wondering if I misunderstood.
Assuming that you did just start taking Prozac, I'd say that you are getting better, in that you are able to think more clearly about life: you realize that this medication has the potential to free you, or "get out of jail". But, you are still not "well" - your brain is used to its old habits of thinking "what if's, self-doubt, and guilt." Give it some more time, and, try to get some help with how you think. Burn's "Feeling Good Handbook" is great with understanding how our thinking can help/hurt us.
If I'm understanding correctly, you are taking a huge step, which of course can be scary. I find myself often, now that I've been on meds for 5 years, getting anxious every now and then because I fear slipping back into my depressed self, mourning the loss my "real self" over the past years, and often, doubting that I'll ever have it "together" again. I think the key for us is to realize that we have an illness, luckily one that responds to medication, and we have to go easy on ourselves. Take it from my experience: if you push yourself too hard and expect too much JUST because you feel better on the meds, you'll end up frustrated because the depression/anxiety you face is so much more complicated.
Take care of yourself: eat right, exercise, buy yourself flowers! Give yourself sometime to re-create your life the way you WANT it, not the way you think it SHOULD be. NOw, if I could only listen to my own advice! :)
Liz
> Hi Everybody!
>
>
> First of all, i don't know if this post ought to be directed to psycho-social babble or not....This issue it's a kind of "hybrid" one, so that it's difficult to decide wether this is going to fit in this forum or in the other one.
> Second of all, please forgive me for my english: it's not my language : hope this mail makes sense.....O.K. then, this is my sixt week on Prozac....I felt better for a few days last week (felt more like myself, i had like "micro-awakenings", thought it was rather promising) and all of a sudden it all popped out.
> I've been thinking over about this and i was wondering if this poop out could be of psychological kind......I felt like i was getting out of the tunnel and it was a little scary.
> I know this is going to sound weird but it was like getting out of jail type-of-thing: i suddenly looked back to my past years and i felt very uncomfortable. "What happened to me?" was my more frequent question to myself. I was puzzled, amazed and very uncomfortable. I noticed with stupefaction that it was actually hard to FEEL happiness and being happy. It was difficult ot smile and be cheerful. It was hard to learn again all the emotion range.
> When i entered this tunnel more then ten years ago i was twenty-one, a quite smart and gifted person: i was hypersensitive though, overwhelmed by emotions and disfunctional because of this: i just wonder if this anhedonia it's kind of protecting me even if i counsciously absolutely want to get rid of it.
> If i look back in the past years i realize that this dumbness helped me to get more social and to "reach out for things"(getting a job interview, being more assertive with people cause i was finally telling what was in my mind without being afraid of consequences...). It even helped me with relantionships cause i was not anxious any longer : everything smoothed out because of this and i was finally able to carry on a lasting relationship....
> Do you know what i mean? I felt "tough" for the first time in my life. And this happened during the years that are supposed to be crucial for a mature and adult person development.....
> Do you think this makes any sense or it's just another subtle way to blame myself for things?
> Or is it just a rationalize type-of- thing, another way of trying to make sense when there is no sense, a desperate attempt of my own mind to grasp the unexplainable and irrational things, in order to fill the void, like us fragile human beings often do?
>
> Anna Laura
Posted by Anna Laura on May 19, 2001, at 4:53:58
In reply to Re: Psychological anhedonia? » Anna Laura, posted by PuraVida on May 18, 2001, at 21:53:07
> Hi Anna Laura,
>
> Just to clarify - Do you mean you have been depressed, you think, for ten years, and are just now taking Prozac? I can understand being hypersensitive while depressed, but reaching out and feeling "tough" don't seem to be depressive traits in my book, so I'm wondering if I misunderstood.
>
> Assuming that you did just start taking Prozac, I'd say that you are getting better, in that you are able to think more clearly about life: you realize that this medication has the potential to free you, or "get out of jail". But, you are still not "well" - your brain is used to its old habits of thinking "what if's, self-doubt, and guilt." Give it some more time, and, try to get some help with how you think. Burn's "Feeling Good Handbook" is great with understanding how our thinking can help/hurt us.
>
> If I'm understanding correctly, you are taking a huge step, which of course can be scary. I find myself often, now that I've been on meds for 5 years, getting anxious every now and then because I fear slipping back into my depressed self, mourning the loss my "real self" over the past years, and often, doubting that I'll ever have it "together" again. I think the key for us is to realize that we have an illness, luckily one that responds to medication, and we have to go easy on ourselves. Take it from my experience: if you push yourself too hard and expect too much JUST because you feel better on the meds, you'll end up frustrated because the depression/anxiety you face is so much more complicated.
>
> Take care of yourself: eat right, exercise, buy yourself flowers! Give yourself sometime to re-create your life the way you WANT it, not the way you think it SHOULD be. NOw, if I could only listen to my own advice! :)
>
> Liz
>
Sorry, perhaps my post was too foggy.
I was just wondering if my Prozac poop out might have been psychological rather than biochemical.
I wanted to figure out wether the fading away of the response to prozac was due to my own psychological resistance or not. Is it clear now or is it still foggy/vague?
I was simply asking myself if this apathy was kind of protecting me.....
Anhedonia kind of "helped" me; i was not hypersensitive or shy anymore and could reach out for things : basically i was better functioning while i was depressed cause the apathy prevented me from getting anxious and scared of situations and people as i used to do before getting depressed. Is that clear now?
I realize my statement it's kind of contradictory, but nonetheless ist's my true and personal experience. I've been learning how to reach out for things and all that stuff WHILE I WAS DEPRESSED; That's why i was wondering if deep inside of me i didn't want to get rid of depression/apathy because i was scared of becoming shy and insecure again.Anna Laura
Posted by Ron Hill on May 19, 2001, at 11:51:40
In reply to Psychological anhedonia?, posted by Anna Laura on May 16, 2001, at 3:35:00
Anna Laura,
For some people, Prozac and other SSRI's can cause apathy and anhedonia. Click on the following links:
http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/xc/search.pl
-- Ron
-------------------------------------------------> Hi Everybody!
>
>
> First of all, i don't know if this post ought to be directed to psycho-social babble or not....This issue it's a kind of "hybrid" one, so that it's difficult to decide wether this is going to fit in this forum or in the other one.
> Second of all, please forgive me for my english: it's not my language : hope this mail makes sense.....O.K. then, this is my sixt week on Prozac....I felt better for a few days last week (felt more like myself, i had like "micro-awakenings", thought it was rather promising) and all of a sudden it all popped out.
> I've been thinking over about this and i was wondering if this poop out could be of psychological kind......I felt like i was getting out of the tunnel and it was a little scary.
> I know this is going to sound weird but it was like getting out of jail type-of-thing: i suddenly looked back to my past years and i felt very uncomfortable. "What happened to me?" was my more frequent question to myself. I was puzzled, amazed and very uncomfortable. I noticed with stupefaction that it was actually hard to FEEL happiness and being happy. It was difficult ot smile and be cheerful. It was hard to learn again all the emotion range.
> When i entered this tunnel more then ten years ago i was twenty-one, a quite smart and gifted person: i was hypersensitive though, overwhelmed by emotions and disfunctional because of this: i just wonder if this anhedonia it's kind of protecting me even if i counsciously absolutely want to get rid of it.
> If i look back in the past years i realize that this dumbness helped me to get more social and to "reach out for things"(getting a job interview, being more assertive with people cause i was finally telling what was in my mind without being afraid of consequences...). It even helped me with relantionships cause i was not anxious any longer : everything smoothed out because of this and i was finally able to carry on a lasting relationship....
> Do you know what i mean? I felt "tough" for the first time in my life. And this happened during the years that are supposed to be crucial for a mature and adult person development.....
> Do you think this makes any sense or it's just another subtle way to blame myself for things?
> Or is it just a rationalize type-of- thing, another way of trying to make sense when there is no sense, a desperate attempt of my own mind to grasp the unexplainable and irrational things, in order to fill the void, like us fragile human beings often do?
>
> Anna Laura
Posted by Ron Hill on May 19, 2001, at 12:14:22
In reply to Psychological anhedonia?, posted by Anna Laura on May 16, 2001, at 3:35:00
Anna Laura,
The links I listed in my previous post did not take you to the specific pages as I had intended. Therefore, on both the Tips page and the Search page search for the word "apathy" then look for links regarding SSRI's and apathy.
-- Ron
-------------------------------------------------> Hi Everybody!
>
>
> First of all, i don't know if this post ought to be directed to psycho-social babble or not....This issue it's a kind of "hybrid" one, so that it's difficult to decide wether this is going to fit in this forum or in the other one.
> Second of all, please forgive me for my english: it's not my language : hope this mail makes sense.....O.K. then, this is my sixt week on Prozac....I felt better for a few days last week (felt more like myself, i had like "micro-awakenings", thought it was rather promising) and all of a sudden it all popped out.
> I've been thinking over about this and i was wondering if this poop out could be of psychological kind......I felt like i was getting out of the tunnel and it was a little scary.
> I know this is going to sound weird but it was like getting out of jail type-of-thing: i suddenly looked back to my past years and i felt very uncomfortable. "What happened to me?" was my more frequent question to myself. I was puzzled, amazed and very uncomfortable. I noticed with stupefaction that it was actually hard to FEEL happiness and being happy. It was difficult ot smile and be cheerful. It was hard to learn again all the emotion range.
> When i entered this tunnel more then ten years ago i was twenty-one, a quite smart and gifted person: i was hypersensitive though, overwhelmed by emotions and disfunctional because of this: i just wonder if this anhedonia it's kind of protecting me even if i counsciously absolutely want to get rid of it.
> If i look back in the past years i realize that this dumbness helped me to get more social and to "reach out for things"(getting a job interview, being more assertive with people cause i was finally telling what was in my mind without being afraid of consequences...). It even helped me with relantionships cause i was not anxious any longer : everything smoothed out because of this and i was finally able to carry on a lasting relationship....
> Do you know what i mean? I felt "tough" for the first time in my life. And this happened during the years that are supposed to be crucial for a mature and adult person development.....
> Do you think this makes any sense or it's just another subtle way to blame myself for things?
> Or is it just a rationalize type-of- thing, another way of trying to make sense when there is no sense, a desperate attempt of my own mind to grasp the unexplainable and irrational things, in order to fill the void, like us fragile human beings often do?
>
> Anna Laura
This is the end of the thread.
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