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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Janice on July 29, 2000, at 23:45:42
I've just been reading about setting goals in Nibor's Undoing Depression webpage in the 'living well' section. It says to take a pencil and paper and list ten things that you feel make living worthwhile. Then to rank them in order of importance. Then to try to spend as much time as possible doing things that help achieve these goals.
I have such difficulties with goal setting, setting realistic goals, remembering I've set goals, breaking down big goals into small units, remembering to care about goals I've set, even knowing what it is that makes me feel living is worthwhile.
I'm ready to try again and hoping you could give me examples of 'things that could make you feel that living is worthwhile'. Maybe this could help clarify exactly what a value is.
As always, thanks, Janice
Posted by shar on July 30, 2000, at 2:45:45
In reply to ••setting goals••discovering values, posted by Janice on July 29, 2000, at 23:45:42
Janice,
The most success I've ever had with such an exercise, I was about 23 and had an index card upon which I wrote the things I would like to accomplish. Not boring things, but things I thought would be cool, interesting, mind expanding, enriching, fun, not boring.I think I had--go to the opera, learn to roll "cigarettes" really well, write an article for publication, be fluent in another language, have a wardrobe I loved, own a motorcycle--things like that.
Every once in a while I come across that card, and it's faded (after 25 years) and I have actually accomplished some of those things!
I stayed away from things I thought I "should" do, and focused on things more in the dream category (if I could wish for anything, within limits, ie, I didn't put "be the richest woman in the world").
I am terrible at setting practical every day goals, and I always blow them. I think the point of goals is to get one thinking proactively, moving forward, having something to work toward. This would help people stay out of the depressed here-and-now.
Good luck with yours!
Shar
> I've just been reading about setting goals in Nibor's Undoing Depression webpage in the 'living well' section. It says to take a pencil and paper and list ten things that you feel make living worthwhile. Then to rank them in order of importance. Then to try to spend as much time as possible doing things that help achieve these goals.
>
> I have such difficulties with goal setting, setting realistic goals, remembering I've set goals, breaking down big goals into small units, remembering to care about goals I've set, even knowing what it is that makes me feel living is worthwhile.
>
> I'm ready to try again and hoping you could give me examples of 'things that could make you feel that living is worthwhile'. Maybe this could help clarify exactly what a value is.
>
> As always, thanks, Janice
Posted by shellie on July 30, 2000, at 10:06:45
In reply to ••setting goals••discovering values, posted by Janice on July 29, 2000, at 23:45:42
One other way I've done a similar exercise made it easier for me. First I wrote down all the things I was grateful for. There those are the things I need to remember never to minimize--many of them are gifts--things I don't feel directly responsible for, except that I have paid attention to them and developed them. I guess I can relate to that word better than "a value". They make my life special.
Then I made a list of things that were missing from my life, things I wanted that were still possible to get. And then I think it would be the second list that would be the goal setting list. The list that might have to be broken down into tiny steps.
I started to write an example, but it got so long, so maybe this will help a little. Shellie
Posted by JaneST on July 30, 2000, at 17:59:22
In reply to ••setting goals••discovering values, posted by Janice on July 29, 2000, at 23:45:42
> I've just been reading about setting goals in Nibor's Undoing Depression webpage in the 'living well' section. It says to take a pencil and paper and list ten things that you feel make living worthwhile.
Janice/Nibor/et.al.
I've just visited the Undoing Depression site and can't seem to find the good stuff you are talking about. Could you please give directions? Assume nothing here...you can't insult my intelligence!
Thanks,
Jane
Posted by Janice on July 30, 2000, at 19:42:40
In reply to Re: ••setting goals••discovering values..Janice?, posted by JaneST on July 30, 2000, at 17:59:22
Shar & Shellie,
Thanks, that helps, but i think i'm going to need professional help here. It's like there is some kind of a block in my brain from understanding this discovering values/ goal-setting process. I just don't get it! I wonder if this is ADHD?
Thanks again, Janice
great goals Shar!
Jane,the 'Living Well' section in on the top of the page - between the centre and the right.
Posted by Nibor on July 30, 2000, at 19:59:34
In reply to Re: ••setting goals••discovering values..Janice?, posted by JaneST on July 30, 2000, at 17:59:22
> > I've just been reading about setting goals in Nibor's Undoing Depression webpage in the 'living well' section. It says to take a pencil and paper and list ten things that you feel make living worthwhile.
>
> Janice/Nibor/etHi, Jane
The url below will take you to the Living Well table of contents page. We'll talk some more during the week if you'd like.> http://www.undoingdepression.com/livingWell.html
Take care,
Nibor
> I've just visited the Undoing Depression site and can't seem to find the good stuff you are talking about. Could you please give directions? Assume nothing here...you can't insult my intelligence!
>
> Thanks,
> Jane
Posted by JaneST on July 30, 2000, at 22:38:17
In reply to Re: ••setting goals••discovering values..Janice? » JaneST, posted by Nibor on July 30, 2000, at 19:59:34
> > > I've just been reading about setting goals in Nibor's Undoing Depression webpage in the 'living well' section. It says to take a pencil and paper and list ten things that you feel make living worthwhile.
> >
> > Janice/Nibor/et
>
> Hi, Jane
> The url below will take you to the Living Well table of contents page. We'll talk some more during the week if you'd like.
>
> > http://www.undoingdepression.com/livingWell.html
>
> Take care,
> Nibor
>
> > I've just visited the Undoing Depression site and can't seem to find the good stuff you are talking about. Could you please give directions? Assume nothing here...you can't insult my intelligence!
> >
> > Thanks,
> > JaneNibor/Janice:
Thank you both! And Nibor, including the url was most helpful...I didn't have to 'procrastinate' and went to the page immediately...and I can see most of the info being so helpful for me.I would enjoy catching up anytime later this week. Geez, all of the info is alrready in my mind but I had to read everything like it was brand-new thinking...now I just have to practice!
Thanks again,
Jane
Posted by Noa on August 9, 2000, at 11:27:44
In reply to Re: ••setting goals••discovering values..Janice?, posted by JaneST on July 30, 2000, at 22:38:17
1. Janice, you taught many of us about setting the timer for the 10 minute cleanup every day. That is a wonderful example of how to approach the task of doing the work of executing ones goals.
2. About 8 years ago I started a goal setting process that worked for a couple of years. It involved writing in a journal at least once a month. At the beginning of the year, I brainstormed all my goals and categorized them (health, professional, financial, personal/educational/spiritual, etc) and then brainstormed all the possible actions I could take toward those goals. Then, each month, I would choose one or two small actions I could work on that month. It really worked. At the end of the year, to my surprise, I found I had addressed a lot of the goals.
Of course, that all got disrupted as I got depressed, and I deteriorated to the point where even the simplest goals have been hard to work on. But I am trying to pick up the pieces some, as I feel better.3. Can you direct me to this web page that people have referred to here?
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