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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 4 of 4. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Alan on January 5, 2000, at 23:47:04
I know it's normal sometimes for a patient to develop very strong feelings for their pdoc, especially when the treatment goes well but I am having trouble working through my feelings. I have talked about this with my talk therapist who has tried to help me resolve these feelings about the psychopharmacologist that I see and have these feelings for. Transference is what the process is called I was told.
Does anyone have any way to suggest through their own experience a way to help resolve something like this? I have diclosed my feelings to my psychopharmacologist and they reacted appropriately my talk therapist and I believe. But this does not seem to help with the intensity of my feelings. It has been a long time since this all started and knowing that I am vulnerable to a care giver helps me understand but doesn't help resolve these feelings.
This person is so good at what they do that I don't think I want to lose them because of my unresolved feelings. Our personalities fit so well together - and I sense that they know that. I know that I probably put them on a pedistal so I can believe that they are going to therefore be able to work their "magic". And that the chemicals they are fooling around with in my brain are the very ones that effect emotions such as love, etc. But this only helps me understand intellectually what is going on.
I hope someone can help me other than saying to simply go to another doctor. I still don't think my feelings would change.
Alan
Posted by Noa on January 6, 2000, at 0:53:54
In reply to Feelings for my psychopharmacologist, posted by Alan on January 5, 2000, at 23:47:04
I definitely DON'T think you should go to another doctor.
I guess that is the good news. The bad news is, I don't think there is a way to "fix" this other than to just live with it and tell yourself it must be serving a purpose that at the moment isn't entirely clear, beyond a vague intellectual understanding. It is also important to tell yourself that what you are feeling is normal and that there is no shame in it. "This is how I feel. It has some adaptive purpose and comes with the territory of being a human being. There is nothing shameful about it. Maybe someday I will understand it better. For now, I guess I will just have to accept that these feelings are there and I can't will them away, and they don't detract from the quality of the work that my pdoc and I are engaged in."
BTW, you deserve a LOT of credit for raising the issue with the doc. That took courage and was the right thing to do. How the doc responded was a good indicator--a good professional response suggests you should stay with this doc. Had he or she responded unprofessionally, that would have suggested it is time to look elsewhere. But, pat yourself on the back for bringing it up.
Posted by juniper on January 6, 2000, at 3:00:04
In reply to Feelings for my psychopharmacologist, posted by Alan on January 5, 2000, at 23:47:04
i am sorry that i can not offer you advice on how to control your feelings for your pdoc (or for anyone for that matter...) however, i know that i have read that transference is often a sign of recovery. you are feeling better, able to feel joy and life and love again, and conveniently there is this wonderful person who has helped you attain these feelings....sometimes you actually transfer your transference (now that is psychobabble), meaning that these feelings you develop for your pdoc are transfered to someone else as you continue in your recovery and become stronger and less afraid to love.
i hope that this is not too much supposing on my part, just a theory. good luck to you, and kudos for handling the situation so maturely.peace,
juniper
Posted by roof8 on January 9, 2000, at 16:06:17
In reply to Feelings for my psychopharmacologist, posted by Alan on January 5, 2000, at 23:47:04
I will just told you about my own experience about transference. (first, once again, sorry for my english, It's not my mother language)
when I was 18, I began to feel depressed, and had somatic problem: like hair loss, chronic pain... always sick in my head and my body.
One day I went to a pdoc, a woman (I'm also a woman) and I didn't understood what happened, I fall in love with her ! (normally I fall in love with men, not women). And it was transference, i.e. I was feeling for her, what a child normally feels for his/her mother. (This process was discovered by Freud.)It was stonger than all I had ever felt before in my life. After about one year, I could tell her and she understood and explain me: she was like a parent to me and was giving me what I my read parents never gave me in my childhood.
After this, It was like a miracle, because my hair stopped falling. I was feeling really different, my personality has changed.
But after one year this pdoc went in an other town. She left me and I couldn't follow her. Since then, I have been trying to replace her by someone else. Why ? because I still have depression. And I'm sure that if I could have finished my therapy with her, now I woudl be cured, I woudln't need anymore medications.
What I can advise you is to try to stay by your pdoc until all this is finished. I mean, until you understand what's happen in the relation, What it means these feeling. It's not just a simple love. It'a a natural way to cure psychological problems. You could read psychoanalysis books to understand more of that, about "emotional correcting experiences". Psychoanalysis is not an old fashionned think, like medications sellers try to make us believe. Psychoanalysis doesn't mean only Freud, there is also recent ones. But always very difficult to read and understand, if you are not a specialist.
The last problem is I hope your pdoc knows something about transference, because some of them don't understand this. I think the better think you can do, is just try to tell your pdoc about what you feel exactly, and you'll see.
Good luck.
This is the end of the thread.
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