Shown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Kath on April 8, 2007, at 17:34:42
I miss 'us'!!!!
Yoo Hoo - anyone out there?
Kath
Posted by Phil on April 11, 2007, at 13:37:30
In reply to Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers, posted by Kath on April 8, 2007, at 17:34:42
I miss 'us' too, Kath. Nothing like going through the archives to see how many are no longer on babble. I just hope they are all okay.
I miss the old days when all was new.Sometimes sad Phil
Posted by allisonm on April 12, 2007, at 8:48:18
In reply to Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers, posted by Kath on April 8, 2007, at 17:34:42
Just passed my 9th anniversary for therapy and meds. I am very fortunate to have had health insurance all this time and to be able to pay for what insurance didn't. I don't think I would be here otherwise.
So I'm still here. Not feeling great. Sad most of the time. Can't sleep through the night. I worry a lot about everything. The holidays were awful, sad and lonely. It doesn't seem to matter where I work, it's always hellish. I would do better if I didn't have a boss but I don't see that happening and continuing to earn money.
Meds only help to a point. Therapy is good for venting and feeling better about current conundrums but I am not seeing any real changes. I am in a rut and don't think I will get out of it. Bad weather makes everything worse. Next month I start a different kind of therapy with horses. I don't have a lot of hope about it and I worry that it will make me feel worse.
Sorry. In the last few months it hasn't felt worth the effort to talk about it because it doesn't feel like anything is going to get better.
Posted by tina on April 13, 2007, at 19:35:07
In reply to Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers, posted by Kath on April 8, 2007, at 17:34:42
Hi hunny
Boy, it's been an age since I was last here. Wow, still looks the same. Hehe. Lots of new boards though. Must be a huge membership now.
Hi to anyone who might remember me here.
Love ya Kath.
Have a great weekend.
T
Posted by Kath on April 14, 2007, at 17:59:28
In reply to Re: Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers » Kath, posted by Phil on April 11, 2007, at 13:37:30
Thx for posting Phil.
It's great to see a few posts!
Yay 'us'
I always click on "notify you of later follow-ups to this thread. That way at least I know if someone has answered that one.
I'm glad to see that at this point 3 of us have connected!
Hugs, Kath
Posted by Kath on April 14, 2007, at 18:08:33
In reply to Re: Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers, posted by allisonm on April 12, 2007, at 8:48:18
Aw Alli - I'm sorry. Life is a challenge (sp? that looks funny!) for me also. As always, mine usually revolves around Jay! (who is 23 now & in December was in Vancouver doing cocaine & crystal meth & got drug-induced psychosis....hearing voices telling him to "off" himself or his family would be harmed. Fortunately he didn't obey the voices...was hospitalized for a month. I think you knew all that; can't remember.
Anyway, he returned Jan 28th on anti-psychotic meds. All the dramatic details are here & there on PB Social.
His GF (of 3 years; almost engaged) returned to BC 3 weeks after they came back to "see friend" & "bring back the rest of our things".
As he feared, she started doing meth again & had him on an emotional roller coaster as to whether she loved him or not (depended on the day).
She finally 'text messaged' him NOT to phone her any more; she loved Anthony!!! (guy who had been staying at their place while Jay was in hospital).
Anyway, he's been devastated since Feb 19th when she went back. The day after 'don't call me' he took his whole month's social assistance out of the bank & used it in 2 days - I suspect mostly on cocaine.
He seems a bit better over the past couple of days...is with the HOPE team (Helping Overcome Psychosis Early) with Canadian Mental Health Assoc. The psych there feels that it's schizophrenia triggered by sh*t.
ANYway, Alli - good luck with the horses. I've heard wonderful things about that type of thing.
Also I have had WONDERFUL results from the technique on the site: www.emofree.com
Check it out. If you decide to try it, babblemail me & I'll tell you a shorter, easier method. This is FREE; no manuals to buy, etc.My daughter Lily & I have been using it with GREAT success!! It's one of the things that have LITERALLY helped to keep my sanity during all the traumatic sh*t that's been happening.
Oh yeah - GF & friends were evicted from their place a few weeks ago. The latest is that she is in JAIL for credit card fraud. Jay had told me that she was involved in that out there & that he was afraid if she went back she'd end up in jail.
SOOOO that's MY soap opera.
I'm so sorry you're having such a crummy time. I do hope the horses help. They're such gentle, wise creatures, I bet they will.
much love, Kath
Posted by Kath on April 14, 2007, at 18:10:25
In reply to Re: Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers » Kath, posted by tina on April 13, 2007, at 19:35:07
Hi Tina - please see my reply to Alli for a teeny update.
Same old (only worse) !!
I go to Social from time to time. Mostly when I'm 'not doing too well'. There are some nice people there & I find them supportive - especially a few particular ones.
It's great to hear from you.
I haven't opened your most recent email yet. Will do so soon.
I send hugs, luv, Kath
Posted by allisonm on April 14, 2007, at 21:11:45
In reply to Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers, posted by Kath on April 8, 2007, at 17:34:42
Hi Kath,
I'm sorry that you still have all of these worries. At his age, one would hope that Jay would be grown up enough to conduct himself in a positive and responsible way and not have to use drugs to quell all real and imagined problems. Then again, should I be casting any stones? Probably not.
I am sorry if I sound callous. It bothers me that you are hurting and it just seems like such a waste and a heartache that you don't deserve. I'd like to give Jay a big kick in the butt and (somehow) deliver a big dose of reality. I feel badly that he cannot handle his own affairs and that he keeps you wound up in this pointless soap opera. It isn't fair. You have been through so much. You and Jay are at an age where you both should be able to live your own lives without one bringing the other down.
I send love and healing thoughts your way.
Alli
Posted by tina on April 15, 2007, at 13:58:15
In reply to Re: Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers » Kath, posted by allisonm on April 14, 2007, at 21:11:45
I completely agree with alli. I'm sorry that you always have to worry so much about him and how he lives. YOu don't deserve this. I wish there was something I could do.
T
Posted by allisonm on April 15, 2007, at 16:42:50
In reply to Re: Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers, posted by tina on April 15, 2007, at 13:58:15
Hey Tina!
Let's you and I go over to Kath's and kick Jay's butt. What do you think?? :-)
Posted by Kath on April 16, 2007, at 11:46:51
In reply to Re: Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers » tina, posted by allisonm on April 15, 2007, at 16:42:50
> Hey Tina!
>
> Let's you and I go over to Kath's and kick Jay's butt. What do you think?? :-)********LOL - kick away!!! (PLUS it'd be SO nice to see you both!)
>sorry that you still have all of these worries. At his age, one would hope that Jay would be grown up enough to conduct himself in a positive and responsible way and not have to use drugs to quell all real and imagined problems.
*****I agree. I've started to go to Nar-Anon (for family & friends of addicts) - last night was my second meeting. It's going to be VERY supportive for me to 'get my life back' & learn to be less affected by HIS stuff. The weird thing is that to a large extent, it's me who gets myself involved. Even in December when he was in Vancouver & was psychotic & hearing voices telling him to do away with himself etc, he didn't tell me. For weeks, when I asked how he was, he'd just say "Oh not great" or "not doing too great, but it'll be OK". Stuff like that. At that point, I didn't ask questions; just said "Oh I'm sorry to hear that; luv ya & I hope things get better" etc. It was only on Boxing Day that he sounded SOOOOOOOOO awful that I asked straight out "Jay, are you suicidal?" & there was a pause after which he said, 'No'. Then he spoke with his sister & after that, he called her back & said that he'd lied to me & felt bad about it.
HE is my addiction!!! So I'm going to Nar-Anon & it really emphasizes that the addict has a disease - both physical & mental - & that we have NO control over the addict's actions/inactions, etc.
It's a real roller coaster & I agree with the stuff you said, Alli, but he IS an addict. Granted, at this point, he's an addict who doesn't even WANT to stop doing drugs. Maybe some day he'll be an addict who DOES want to stop, or at least see the need to stop.******I am sorry if I sound callous. It bothers me that you are hurting and it just seems like such a waste and a heartache that you don't deserve. I'd like to give Jay a big kick in the butt and (somehow) deliver a big dose of reality.
****You don't sound callous to me. I see your points absolutely.********
I feel badly that he cannot handle his own affairs and that he keeps you wound up in this pointless soap opera. It isn't fair. You have been through so much. You and Jay are at an age where you both should be able to live your own lives without one bringing the other down.
****Once again, I agree. This morning I met with his HOPE worker. We'll be having another meeting to iron out some points. I asked her to help me around setting a boundary in place that I don't want Jay to connect with me/contact me - haven't got the wording down yet - when he's using (not sure of that wording either yet). It feels good to be setting that boundary in place. Feels good to be starting to take care of ME. I've already told him that if he gets in any trouble with the law as a result of drugs, I am NOT going to be involved. That felt really good.********
I send love and healing thoughts your way.
Alli
******Thanks Alli & thanks Tina. As to what you can do to help - you can encourage me to take care of myself & I suppose, mirror to me when you see me doing so. Also, if you see me NOT doing so, maybe ask me if what I'm doing is in MY best interests. That type of thing.
For me, it helps to be able to talk about things with people. Either in real life, or on the internet.
Alli - please be sure to let us know how the horse therapy works, OK? Also, it might not start to work immediately, so don't give up. How did you hear of it?
hugs to both, Kath
Posted by Phil on April 16, 2007, at 14:54:59
In reply to So nice to be in contact!!! - to Tina + Alli, posted by Kath on April 16, 2007, at 11:46:51
Welp...I guess we are all maintaining to some degree. At least a few of us have gathered here.
I wish we could snap our fingers and be okay. snap snap snap...d@mn.
Maybe, like vultures, others will see us here and land too.
Great to see everyone.
There are so many people I miss here.
The thing that won't go away,
Phil
Posted by Deb R on April 27, 2007, at 19:18:48
In reply to Just thought I'd try to see if anyone answers, posted by Kath on April 8, 2007, at 17:34:42
Hi Kath
Thanks for posting, it is lovely to see many familiar people replying. I haven't read all the responses but will now!
All the best to you,
Love,
Deb.
Posted by tina on April 28, 2007, at 20:38:20
In reply to Re: So nice to be in contact!!! - to Tina + Alli » Kath, posted by Phil on April 16, 2007, at 14:54:59
Hey Phil
I'm actually thriving. I've been quite "healthy" since leaving school last january. I have managed to find the perfect medication combination, I have a job that I like very m uch, and I have friends, a man, and a generally happy life. I'm in such a good place and I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop. I know I can not only survive, i can thrive. I know I can handle anything life throws at me because i am just that, a survivor. I wish everyone could feel like this. I never thought it possible. I just LOVE life and I find something to be grateful for every day.
Peace and hugs Phil
Tina
Posted by Kath on May 3, 2007, at 20:03:58
In reply to Re: So nice to be in contact!!! - to Tina + Alli » Phil, posted by tina on April 28, 2007, at 20:38:20
This has been very nice!!
Maybe others will post if they pop in & see us here.
hugs to all, Kath
Posted by finelinebob on September 7, 2007, at 9:45:25
In reply to Great hearing from youall...anyone else out there?, posted by Kath on May 3, 2007, at 20:03:58
Back for a while ... at least until responses to my posts peter out.
This is the end of the thread.
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