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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2004, at 22:56:10
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by Jai Narayan on December 22, 2004, at 21:04:51
> My name is my spriual name.
> It was given to me by my spiritual teacher.
> I adopted the name and became it legally.
> So it is my real name in the real part of myself
> I may in the future adopt it again.
> Jai NarayanDo you mean that you got your name legally changed? I would like to change mine - to my posting name actually, though I'd put my full first name in as my last name. I think my father would throw all sorts of fits (maybe thats the point) 'but then I'll lose it when I get married anyways daaaaaaaaaaad' (not that I plan to -ha!)
Posted by ed_uk on December 23, 2004, at 7:59:10
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by trucker on December 22, 2004, at 19:31:16
Hello Atticus,
I think Atticus is a good name. I'm glad you shared your reason for choosing it.
Best Regards,
Ed.
Posted by Jai Narayan on December 23, 2004, at 8:28:16
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » Jai Narayan, posted by alexandra_k on December 22, 2004, at 22:56:10
My parents were hurt at first but they got used to it.
I love my spiritual name.
I changed back to the one I was born with when I left the religion.
now I find a drifting back, so hence I am using it again on babble.Your name is lovely.
Parents get over stuff like this....
I think?
Posted by vwoolf on December 23, 2004, at 13:15:44
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by Jai Narayan on December 23, 2004, at 8:28:16
I chose VWoolf because I think I identify quite a bit with Virginia Woolf and was reading ""A Room of One's Own" when I started contributing to PB. I identified because like her, I was a writer, I was confused about my gender, because I was abused, because I had thoughts of suicide. But not so much any more. I just identify now because we are both writers. And I love to give myself that title.
I am not giving out my real name. I have disclosed too much on the boards, and I have quite a well-known public profile.
Posted by trucker on December 23, 2004, at 13:52:04
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by vwoolf on December 23, 2004, at 13:15:44
none the less... you are welcome here with vwolf.. glad you are at babble where you can talk and be heard and sometimes helped..
trucker
///////////////////////////////////////////////> I chose VWoolf because I think I identify quite a bit with Virginia Woolf and was reading ""A Room of One's Own" when I started contributing to PB. I identified because like her, I was a writer, I was confused about my gender, because I was abused, because I had thoughts of suicide. But not so much any more. I just identify now because we are both writers. And I love to give myself that title.
>
> I am not giving out my real name. I have disclosed too much on the boards, and I have quite a well-known public profile.
Posted by Angel Girl on December 23, 2004, at 16:19:55
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by trucker on December 23, 2004, at 13:52:04
Angel Girl is a shortened version of a name that was bestowed upon me at a different message board that I no longer go to.
AG
Posted by ed_uk on December 23, 2004, at 17:10:52
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by Angel Girl on December 23, 2004, at 16:19:55
Well it's a very nice name! I'm glad you kept it!
Ed.
Posted by AdaGrace on December 24, 2004, at 6:14:08
In reply to How did you choose your posting name?, posted by ed_uk on December 17, 2004, at 6:33:26
Ada is a family name that is very dear to me...and I had a lover who once always ended our conversations with "Say Goodnight, Gracie" after the George Burns series. I've used this as my passwords in the past, but descided when I came here that I wanted to be AdaGrace.
Posted by Slavegirl on December 25, 2004, at 18:57:51
In reply to How did you choose your posting name?, posted by ed_uk on December 17, 2004, at 6:33:26
Often choose passwords or user names and forget them....so I stuck with one I'd remember...Slavegirl...what I think I am most times...whether it's at work or home....I am the Slave..picking up, fixing, mending, cleaning, cooking,....overworked, underpaid, depressed...and still a girl at heart, even if I feel 95 in the shade.
SG
Posted by just plain jane on December 26, 2004, at 17:07:53
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by Slavegirl on December 25, 2004, at 18:57:51
just plain jane
Posted by AdaGrace on December 28, 2004, at 6:14:06
In reply to It's who I am., posted by just plain jane on December 26, 2004, at 17:07:53
Janey, you say so much in those three words.
Posted by Angel Girl on December 28, 2004, at 17:27:10
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » Angel Girl, posted by ed_uk on December 23, 2004, at 17:10:52
> Well it's a very nice name! I'm glad you kept it!
>
> Ed.
edYes, but I'm seriously thinking of changing it for a couple of reasons.
1. I'm afraid of someone from other message boards discovering me here and then reading my inner most thoughts.
2. I hardly feel like an angel these days. Not that I'm bad but I'm always depressed and that's not how I picture angels to be.
So, I see a new name coming very shortly when I can think of something.
A VERY depressed AG
Posted by trucker on December 28, 2004, at 17:39:59
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » ed_uk, posted by Angel Girl on December 28, 2004, at 17:27:10
AG i wouldn't change my name.. you don't have to share with anyone here who you are. don't admit anything and they won't know. don't let others rule your life.
trucker
////////////////////////////////////////////////
> 1. I'm afraid of someone from other message boards discovering me here and then reading my inner most thoughts.
Posted by Angel Girl on December 29, 2004, at 11:14:22
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by trucker on December 28, 2004, at 17:39:59
> AG i wouldn't change my name.. you don't have to share with anyone here who you are. don't admit anything and they won't know. don't let others rule your life.
>
> trucker
>
> ////////////////////////////////////////////////
> > 1. I'm afraid of someone from other message boards discovering me here and then reading my inner most thoughts.
>
>
>I really don't feel comfortable with my posting name. If anybody from any of the other boards I've been to or still go to came here, they'd know it's me and I don't want that.
Also, I just don't think that "Angel Girl" is all that appropriate for me anymore. I'm too down and depressed, spiraling quickly back to the "black hole" and I don't know how to stop it. I don't picture angels being that way. I'm still trying to think of a name that is more appropriate for me. I had picked one but when I tried to register with it, somebody already had it even though I've never seen it being used. :(
AG
Posted by trucker on December 29, 2004, at 11:26:22
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on December 29, 2004, at 11:14:22
do you have a T? i was just wondering if you do and what they think about the spiraling down to the whole. have they ever mentioned light therapy? this time of the year we get less light and it affects our moods etc.. and can make us feel l ike we are going back to the black whole that we use to hide. there are specail lights to use for this. maybe you could try that. i hope things get better for you soon. we are here to talk if you need us. and if you want to babble mail me i can be reached by clicking on the trucker in blue at top of page. stay in touch and i'll listen if you need me to.
trucker
Posted by Angel Girl on December 31, 2004, at 21:37:51
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » Angel Girl, posted by trucker on December 29, 2004, at 11:26:22
> do you have a T? i was just wondering if you do and what they think about the spiraling down to the whole. have they ever mentioned light therapy? this time of the year we get less light and it affects our moods etc.. and can make us feel l ike we are going back to the black whole that we use to hide. there are specail lights to use for this. maybe you could try that. i hope things get better for you soon. we are here to talk if you need us. and if you want to babble mail me i can be reached by clicking on the trucker in blue at top of page. stay in touch and i'll listen if you need me to.
>
> trucker
>
>
truckerI thought I had replied you before but maybe I tried on one of the evenings that the boards were down. Anyway, yes I have a T but didn't feel this bad the last time I saw her. I see her again on Jan 7th. They are closed over the holidays. I'm not sure whether they do light therapy there or not. My moods seem to be running the gamut of late and I don't seem to be able to control it. In the last few days, I seem to get angry quite easily and let it out in full force. After 2 days of crap on the phone between myself, my pharmacist and my pdoc's office, I lashed out at my pdoc's receptionist and then hung up on her. I'm sure I'll here about it from my pdoc on Jan 6, which is my next appt. I just have a hard time dealing with stupidity from people over something that is sooooo simple. Tuesday I'm starting my search for a new pdoc. I was going to do that before all this crap happened but that just hammered the last nail in her coffin. Wish me luck!!!
AG
Posted by trucker on January 1, 2005, at 18:40:18
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on December 31, 2004, at 21:37:51
what meds are you on?? my memory stinks too! i have this same anger too. my is at all things i think. plus the change is knocking on my door. i get angry because of the things that could of been so different if i would of had the parently guidance that i was supposed to have. and the protection. i am on a roller coaster of sorts with that. i8 am inteligent. and i could of made something special of myself had i not had to fight to surrvive and be an adult at 3 years old. i didn't get to be a child and i wasn't taught the things i needed to live.. i am self taught in all things. i was never alloud friends (because they might find out and tell the law)and now i don't know how to make and keep them. esp when they find out my history of childhood horrors. i agree with you that you should look for a T. one who cares about you... and preferably the same sex.. men seem to have a way of taking advantage of you when you are vulnerable. i been that route and he got me selling drugs and hooked on drugs and added to the trouble. he just died.
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////////// Anyway, yes I have a T but didn't feel this bad the last time I saw her. I see her again on Jan 7th. They are closed over the holidays. I'm not sure whether they do light therapy there or not. My moods seem to be running the gamut of late and I don't seem to be able to control it. In the last few days, I seem to get angry quite easily and let it out in full force. After 2 days of crap on the phone between myself, my pharmacist and my pdoc's office, I lashed out at my pdoc's receptionist and then hung up on her. I'm sure I'll here about it from my pdoc on Jan 6, which is my next appt. I just have a hard time dealing with stupidity from people over something that is sooooo simple. Tuesday I'm starting my search for a new pdoc. I was going to do that before all this crap happened but that just hammered the last nail in her coffin. Wish me luck!!!
>
> AG
>
Posted by Angel Girl on January 4, 2005, at 16:04:11
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » Angel Girl, posted by trucker on January 1, 2005, at 18:40:18
> what meds are you on?? my memory stinks too! i have this same anger too. my is at all things i think. plus the change is knocking on my door. i get angry because of the things that could of been so different if i would of had the parently guidance that i was supposed to have. and the protection. i am on a roller coaster of sorts with that. i8 am inteligent. and i could of made something special of myself had i not had to fight to surrvive and be an adult at 3 years old. i didn't get to be a child and i wasn't taught the things i needed to live.. i am self taught in all things. i was never alloud friends (because they might find out and tell the law)and now i don't know how to make and keep them. esp when they find out my history of childhood horrors. i agree with you that you should look for a T. one who cares about you... and preferably the same sex.. men seem to have a way of taking advantage of you when you are vulnerable. i been that route and he got me selling drugs and hooked on drugs and added to the trouble. he just died.
>
> trucker
>---------------------------------------------------
trucker
I can hear the tears in your words. You are very wounded. I hope that you have a T that is compassionate and gentle with you. You have a lot of childhood memories that need healing and that will take some time. I agree that a female T would be good for you. My T is female for the same reasons (childhood memories). I'm sorry for your loss but pardon my insensitivity, I think you are better off without this person in your life. I hope that comment does not upset or offend you. I'm sorry that you were denied a normal childhood and friends. I can understand why you would have a hard time making friends and keeping them now. Maybe you don't need to be so open with new friends and tell them your past. Would that help you to maintain friendships? I too, have a hard time making and keeping friends. Abandonment is one of my issues. You say that you are angry at everything, that would be me too lately. I seem to anger very easily, where before I would be the one who would not want to start conflict and keep the peace. These days it does not take much to ignite me. I had to make some apologies today to a couple of people, my pharmacist and my pdoc's receptionist. The jury is still out on how my pdoc will handle this situation with me when I see her for my next appt on Thursday. I can't remember if I mentioned before but I am BPII and PTSD from my childhood. I am assuming by what you write that you are the same?
My meds are:
Tegretol -- 200mg bid (hoping to increase by 100mg daily)
Effexor XR -- 150mg AM/75mg PM
Wellbutrin SR -- 100mg daily (hoping to increase by 100mg daily)
Klonopin -- .5mg bid
Xanax -- .5mg 4Xdaily (or as required, which may be less)My losing my composure with the pharmacist and Pdoc's receptionist was over trying to get the increases that I have stated above. I thought these were very simple increases but apparently not. I didn't even get a renewal of my current dosage. I will have to see what my pdoc says about them on Thursday.
Obviously the Tegretol isn't doing anything to help with stabilization of my moods and it doesn't seem to matter how much AD I take, my depression keeps worsening. I really don't know what to do meds-wise at this point. The only thing that does work for me is Xanax. It is a Godsend. Now if only I can find out how to either avoid stress or handle it without taking the Xanax.
So, what meds are you on? Do you have a female T?
{{{{{{{{{{{trucker}}}}}}}}}}}
AG
Posted by trucker on January 4, 2005, at 16:59:05
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 4, 2005, at 16:04:11
i was on lexapro... i just weened down and got off it with out T permission. i had pills from before.. zoloft. and i am taking them. my T is real busy and she doesn't consol me. she only medicates me. and i am upset with the fact that there is no time for me to have T i see her once every couple of months and i not getting any where. i hated the no energy of lexapro. and when i was on zoloft before i had energy..'
i have PTSD AND ANXIETY..i wonder if they have you on too many things all at once. maybe something is clashing with the other
trucker
////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
> So, what meds are you on? Do you have a female T?
>
> {{{{{{{{{{{trucker}}}}}}}}}}}
>
> AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 5, 2005, at 19:13:36
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by trucker on January 4, 2005, at 16:59:05
trucker
I have a separate T for therapy and pdoc for meds. I see my T every 2 wks for a hour. I see my pdoc every 2 wks for my meds. Maybe you should consider doing the same. That way you would get the attention that you need for therapy if the T was only doing therapy and nothing else. You might want to look into that.
I'm assuming your T doesn't know yet that you've played with your meds on your own? I really think you need to separate therapy and getting meds to 2 people. Here, it is illegal for a T to rx meds, must be done by a pdoc, but some pdocs do meds and therapy, but not the other way around.
I also think that if you saw someone more than every 2 months it would be more beneficial to you since you aren't doing well.
My meds are constantly being reviewed and changed. I've yet to find the right combo for me that works. I definitely feel that I'm not on the right meds now either. You suffer from anxiety yet you don't have a rx for that. That's why I take Xanax but I'm going to look into non-rx ways to help me even though the Xanax works like a charm. Most drs up here don't like to prescribe Xanax because of it being addictive but I don't take it enough for that. In fact, I've been ordered recently by my GP, T and pdoc to start taking it more frequently because I'm dealing with stress more now than I ever was before and I'm not dealing with it well and I'm suffering physically for it. The Tegretol, IMO, doesn't do anything much for me in stabilizing my moods but my options are very limited now as I've already tried almost all of them. :( I go to my GP once a month so that he can keep tabs on me. I went today actually and he made me go through blood tests AGAIN!!! I have a phobia and he knows it. Talk about feeling stressed!!! I think you should be seen more frequently than you are. I would even consider changing who you're seeing and get a separate pdoc and T. I think you'll get better care that way. Oh, btw, almost forgot to answer your ?, my GP regularily keeps tabs on what my pdoc has prescribed and he feels ok with what I'm taking. I'd rather see him than my pdoc but he doesn't like to treat BP people. He thinks it's too difficult to deal with the mood swings and trying to treat them. :( I may soon look for a new pdoc. I'm not 100% happy with the one I have now and I personally don't think she knows what to do with me anymore. :/
AG
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> i was on lexapro... i just weened down and got off it with out T permission. i had pills from before.. zoloft. and i am taking them. my T is real busy and she doesn't consol me. she only medicates me. and i am upset with the fact that there is no time for me to have T i see her once every couple of months and i not getting any where. i hated the no energy of lexapro. and when i was on zoloft before i had energy..'
> i have PTSD AND ANXIETY..
>
> i wonder if they have you on too many things all at once. maybe something is clashing with the other
>
> trucker
>
Posted by trucker on January 5, 2005, at 20:20:46
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 5, 2005, at 19:13:36
my T has known for 1 1/2 months that i switched.. however last night(1/4/05) she decided to finally address it.. it is the first time we have spoken since thanksgiving i think. she is dumping me... i think it is because she needs more money and of coarse she isn't happy with my switch. she has been hinting about money and the "self employment expenses" that she has and she has pretty much decided that it is better to work for some one else. less expence and more money and benifits. but lex was cheaper and i hated the way i felt and zoloft is more expensive and i like the way i feel and funtion on it. i am glad she is getting rid of me. i was becoming too dependant on her. i may be moving so i will look for another doc when i am sure where i will be. where is up here?? where do you live? she is a nurse practioner of psy. that is how she can prescribe meds.. is your first name lisa?
trucker
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////
>
> I'm assuming your T doesn't know yet that you've played with your meds on your own? I really think you need to separate therapy and getting meds to 2 people. Here, it is illegal for a T to rx meds, must be done by a pdoc, but some pdocs do meds and therapy, but not the other way around.
Posted by Angel Girl on January 10, 2005, at 2:47:03
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by trucker on January 5, 2005, at 20:20:46
trucker
I could swear I've replied this post already. This is the 2nd time this has happened. Where are my replies going?
Anyway, could you please explain to me what you mean by feeling your are too dependent on her? I don't understand that when you see her so infrequently.
Where do you live now and when and where are you moving to? What happens if you run out of meds before you get settled in your new location?
I think I answered everything else you asked in the babblemail.
AG
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> my T has known for 1 1/2 months that i switched.. however last night(1/4/05) she decided to finally address it.. it is the first time we have spoken since thanksgiving i think. she is dumping me... i think it is because she needs more money and of coarse she isn't happy with my switch. she has been hinting about money and the "self employment expenses" that she has and she has pretty much decided that it is better to work for some one else. less expence and more money and benifits. but lex was cheaper and i hated the way i felt and zoloft is more expensive and i like the way i feel and funtion on it. i am glad she is getting rid of me. i was becoming too dependant on her. i may be moving so i will look for another doc when i am sure where i will be. where is up here?? where do you live? she is a nurse practioner of psy. that is how she can prescribe meds.. is your first name lisa?
>
> trucker
>>
Posted by trucker on January 10, 2005, at 10:28:36
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 10, 2005, at 2:47:03
well i may only see her very little but i talk to her on the phone much more.. which in my mind means friend not T. and i cared and thought way to highly of her opinions, and considered her in all my moves. that is what i meant by depended on her way to much. plus she supplied me with my meds since i don't have insurance, with samples she had.
i live in upstate ny, and i haven't decided yet where i will move, or even if i have too. we may have to endure forcloser. things are rough. if i run out of meds i will see if a gp can prescribe them. if not i will go without. see zoloft isn't addicting and i can manage for a period of time with out. however it isn't fun.trucker
/////////////////////////////////////////////////
> Anyway, could you please explain to me what you mean by feeling your are too dependent on her? I don't understand that when you see her so infrequently.
>
> Where do you live now and when and where are you moving to? What happens if you run out of meds before you get settled in your new location?
>
> I think I answered everything else you asked in the babblemail.
>
> AG
Posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 1:40:35
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name?, posted by trucker on January 10, 2005, at 10:28:36
trucker
Thanks for clearing up my confusion about your feeling dependent on your T. You had not mentioned before that you talk to her on the phone and that you considered her in all your moves.
I'm sorry that you may be facing foreclosure on your home and may also have to go without meds. I hope that things work out for you. I can only imagine the stress that you are dealing with. Hugs.
AG
> well i may only see her very little but i talk to her on the phone much more.. which in my mind means friend not T. and i cared and thought way to highly of her opinions, and considered her in all my moves. that is what i meant by depended on her way to much. plus she supplied me with my meds since i don't have insurance, with samples she had.
> i live in upstate ny, and i haven't decided yet where i will move, or even if i have too. we may have to endure forcloser. things are rough. if i run out of meds i will see if a gp can prescribe them. if not i will go without. see zoloft isn't addicting and i can manage for a period of time with out. however it isn't fun.
>
> trucker
>
> /////////////////////////////////////////////////
> > Anyway, could you please explain to me what you mean by feeling your are too dependent on her? I don't understand that when you see her so infrequently.
> >
> > Where do you live now and when and where are you moving to? What happens if you run out of meds before you get settled in your new location?
> >
> > I think I answered everything else you asked in the babblemail.
> >
> > AG
>
>
Posted by trucker on January 12, 2005, at 9:53:17
In reply to Re: How did you choose your posting name? » trucker, posted by Angel Girl on January 12, 2005, at 1:40:35
by the grace of GOD, i will get by. i am a surviver, and the instinct is strong, as am i, till the baby thru me for a loop. and hormones went wacky on me. but i still have it none the less. it is something my T wanted me to get rid of. she said i didn't need it anymore. she doesn't realize that it is the only reason i am still here. i have been dealt some blows that would put most in the ground and i do mean six feet under. that instinct, and strength is the only reason i am still here and in the game of life so to speak. i think i am gonna change my middle name to STRESS. LOL... something along those lines. with the T dumping me.. it closes a chapter on the dead baby era. and hopefully i can move on. time will tell.
trucker
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////> trucker
>
> Thanks for clearing up my confusion about your feeling dependent on your T. You had not mentioned before that you talk to her on the phone and that you considered her in all your moves.
>
> I'm sorry that you may be facing foreclosure on your home and may also have to go without meds. I hope that things work out for you. I can only imagine the stress that you are dealing with. Hugs.
>
> AG
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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