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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 49. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:31:09
[Posted by beardedlady on March 26, 2002, at 6:04:49
In reply to http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020322/msgs/100120.html]
> Oh, Dinah! That's just ridiculous! It's perfectly okay not to be enamored of the human race. I treat everyone with respect and compassion; I find that most people don't treat each other that way.
>
> In my post office the other day (yes, always count on the post office for a good glimpse of human race), one of the cashiers was asked for change by a woman who had just bought something. She said, "I don't have any change to give you." The woman said, "Well, I could have paid with my ten and gotten change, but I forgot I needed it." "Then you should've paid with your ten," the cashier replied.
>
> Bear with me, Dr. Bob. Meds are coming!
>
> Next, a woman walked in with a tiny dog in her arms--tiny! The other cashier said, loudly, "You can't bring the dog in." The woman said, "She's just a tiny baby, and I can't leave her alone in my car. Can I please get a stamp?" "Ma'am, I will not wait on you with a dog. There's a sign on the door." (If you think the cashier was being polite and following the rules, you didn't hear her tone of voice and see the expression on her face.) Now I know about rules, and I would be one (a dog lover) to bend them, but that's not what I'm talking about. A compassionate response, a kind response, a friendly tone of voice and a reply, "I'm sorry, Ma'am. I am not allowed to wait on you with a dog, no matter how tiny."
>
> This box in front of me, this ugly glaring screen, is responsible for so many woes. People spend so much time in front of it (and the television--blech!) that they don't know how to interact with one another in public! People don't want to share their spaces on this earth. They want everything around them to be a cubicle all their own.
>
> And I don't think my comments really qualify as "judging." I'm not looking at a fat person and saying, "Ew, you are fat." (I am fat! I go to Weight Watchers right now because my pregnancy fat won't go away, especially with this med.) (Meds, Dr. Bob! More to come!) I'm talking about the combo--fat, lazy, stupid. Members of my family are severly overweight, but they work hard and conscientiously and are smart.
>
> But this country has a fast food mentality. Our children our getting type 2 diabetes at an alarming rate. Parents are killing their children (and their pets!) with crap food because they don't want to hurt their kids' feelings! There's some of the fat, lazy, stupid that I'm talking about.
>
> As for "Rosanne": funny show, rude people. They treated each other with humor but without kindness. They ate crap. They watched crap. And they didn't do crap with their kids.
>
> In spite of the fact that I SOUND like a misanthrope, I am not. I have a trillion friends! Okay, maybe not a trillion. But I had 200 people at my wedding, and 75 of them were close friends. I am one of the first instructors of my course to fill a class. And I meet new people and make new friends all the time.
>
> I think I know who Daria is (an MTV cartoon?). You would probably find that I am just like her. I don't go outside every day seething with contempt for the human race, but I don't find anything redeeming about the humanity of people who are just plain rude, who throw trash out their car windows while cutting you off and talking on their cell phones, who can't say excuse me or thank you or please.
>
> (For Dr. Bob) They need to take a pill! (Or else we can get Hannibal Lechter to eat them!)
>
> Anyway, the point of my post was that there is nothing chemically or physically wrong with most of the people who feel this way. We are simply elitists!
>
> beardy : )>
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:34:38
In reply to Re: Misanthropy? Sad? « beardedlady, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:31:09
[Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 6:32:25]
> >
> > Anyway, the point of my post was that there is nothing chemically or physically wrong with most of the people who feel this way. We are simply elitists!
> >
> > beardy : )>
>
> "Simply elitists"? Still sad. I'm glad I live where I do. It must be a very kind and courteous part of the country. Clerks go out of their way to double bag your groceries. Niceties are exchanged everywhere (perhaps too much so.) People let other people into traffic. Doors are held open by everyone. And a number of women at my church bring meals to the sick, and do what they can for others in and out of the congregation. And the poor, the uneducated, the intellectually challenged, and yes, the fat, are, for the most part, decent and kind.
>
> Still I am sorry I addressed the post to you specifically. I accidentally hit the "add name of previous poster".
>
> Now this one is meant for you.
>
> It's not an argument or anything, so please don't get all bent out of shape about it. We can agree to view the world in a different way. Just an observation that I feel sadness within me when I read not only your post, but the many posts with this idea. The world is full of kind and wonderful people. Just look at Dr. Bob's kindness in providing this sight.
>
> Of course I will admit that unlike you I am an extreme introvert, and like it that way. I mostly observe people from a distance. Perhaps if I got to know them better I would find more to dislike about them...
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:35:34
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:34:38
[Posted by beardedlady on March 26, 2002, at 7:01:01]
> Oh, please don't think I was getting bent out of shape! As for getting bent out of shape, my skin is pretty thick. I'm tough. I beat up the bullies of my Serzone nightmares. I get onstage. I publish. I blab. If I were too sensitive, I wouldn't let anything hang out.
>
> I was simply doing what you did; I was describing my experience with the world. I'm an EXTRAvert. I talk to everyone--even myself. (Is there a pill for that, Dr. Bob?) (Sure, beardy, it's called shutup.) And it's funny; I think I'm a relatively comfortable person--somewhere between happy and complacent.
>
> And there's certainly no argument about Dr. Bob. Please don't misunderstand; the majority of the folks here on this site are not the people to whom I am referring! People congregate with folks like themselves.
>
> Anyway, I don't know if I could live in a place as nice as you. I wouldn't have anything to complain about!
>
> Have a nice day, and thank you for eating at mcbeardies! (Oh, I'm sorry--did you want flies with that?) : )>
>
> beardy : )>
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:36:30
In reply to Re: Misanthropy? Sad? « beardedlady, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:31:09
[Posted by colin wallace on March 26, 2002, at 8:23:04]
> Beardy's a lycanthrope!! I've long suspected it....*_*
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:37:25
In reply to Re:Misanthropy. Beardy « colin wallace, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:36:30
[Posted by beardedlady on March 26, 2002, at 8:48:26]
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:39:46
In reply to Re: Misanthropy? Sad? « beardedlady, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:31:09
[Posted by Krazy Kat on March 26, 2002, at 8:55:27]
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:41:33
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:34:38
[Posted by Krazy Kat on March 26, 2002, at 8:57:09]
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:43:02
In reply to you're an optimistic, ocd-istic introvert :) « KK, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:41:33
[Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 11:12:11]
> Hence the introversion.
>
> But being a realist means seeing the good as well as the bad.
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:44:01
In reply to Not optimistic. Just cursed with empathy. « Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:43:02
[Posted by Krazy Kat on March 26, 2002, at 11:16:22]
> Dinah:
>
> I am overly empathetic toward animals. If I see a run over squirrel in the street, i cry.
>
> I'm not as good about people, except children. Children and animals - the innocents that take on so much abuse at times.
>
> But show me a story about an adult who got into a hairy (sp?) situation and I could care less.
>
> No wonder I don't have very many friends. ;)
>
> - KK
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:45:37
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Dinah, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:34:38
[Posted by Zo on March 26, 2002, at 17:27:41]
> "You too beardy? I feel so sad for both of you. Where on earth do you meet people?"
>
> Dinah, sweetie, I felt and still feel this was rather a stinging post; it reads a bit condescending or judgemental.
>
> I know if someone said those two things to me, unless they were already a good friend, I'd feel pushed away by them. My guess is that you don't mean to, not at all. . .but often the tone of your posts, when I first "met" you, seemed to telegraph, Don't get close to me!
>
> Just some thoughts/feedback. Lots of times our illnesses make us "prickly" -- me too.
>
> Zo
Posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:46:40
In reply to Re: Bent? Never. « beardedlady, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:35:34
[Posted by Zo on March 26, 2002, at 17:29:01]
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 19:25:16
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Zo, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:45:37
People have been telling me my whole life that I am standoffish. And I'll admit to being judgemental and a moralist. I never have figured out why using judgement was such a sin. I guess I didn't realize the extent to which I brought my personal defects in relationships to Dinah. So thank you for pointing it out to me so succinctly. And all along too. Not just that particular post. Oh well. I guess you lug yourself around with you wherever you go.
Remember however that as an overweight American from an area with a poor educational system but a lot of really decent people I was responding to the following statement.
"Duh. Most people ARE stupid. Why was "Rosanne" so popular? That's America. Fat, lazy, stupid."
I guess my sense of humor is grossly lacking. Sorry for that too. Sorry I take things at face value. Sorry I am too literal. Sorry I like America and Americans and don't see them all as fat lazy and stupid. Sorry I saw Roseanne as a family that may have been rather sarcastic at times (golly, what a sin) but also showed caring and commitment towards one another. And sorry I don't take constructive criticism particularly well. And sorry I appear prickly to you. And sorry you found my posts likely to push you away. And sorry this post seems a bit overwraught. And sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry.... for everything.
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:33:51
In reply to No, seriously. Thank you for the feedback Zo., posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 19:25:16
I've been crying for well over an hour now. I guess the kids in middle school were right.
Posted by Krazy Kat on March 26, 2002, at 20:38:33
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Zo, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:45:37
i can't Stand when threads are redirected, b/c you lose the clarity of what is going on - but that should be redirected to Admin. :)
Zo, you should know by now that Dinah is Very literal. i would never read something into her comments. i believe they stand as they are written.
you both communicate very differently and you may be best off not responding to her posts until you've mulled them over a bit. but don't analyze them, that is the beauty of dinah - she is as she stands.
- kk
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:39:06
In reply to Oh the shame spiral., posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:33:51
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:50:41
In reply to Is this what poor ego strength means? (nm), posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:39:06
Something else to feel guilty about.
Bad Dinah. Bad.
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:52:22
In reply to And I take things too seriously too. :(, posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:50:41
It's actually kind of interesting to watch. Dinah melts down again.
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 21:06:05
In reply to I'm falling apart again aren't I?, posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 20:52:22
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 21:08:52
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Zo » Dr. Bob, posted by Krazy Kat on March 26, 2002, at 20:38:33
Thanks for your kindness Krazy Kat.
I guess I'll stop this stream of consciousness (sp) thread and take a couple Klonopin and go to bed now.
Posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 21:25:15
In reply to That girl just ain't right. (nm) » Dinah, posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 21:06:05
Can you get a Please Be Civil for being rude to yourself?
Posted by Penny on March 26, 2002, at 22:17:42
In reply to Re: That girl just ain't right., posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 21:25:15
> Can you get a Please Be Civil for being rude to yourself?
Oh Dinah...please don't torture yourself so. I admire your view of the world and those in it... I try very hard every day to see the good around me, though with my gray-tinted specs, I find it extremely difficult. But then something will happen that reaffirms my faith in humankind. Okay, so maybe this is a little sappy. But seriously, I have a favorite lunch spot that I frequent and everyone in there knows me and knows what I order. And they go out of their way to give me good service. They even give me free lunch on occasion for frequenting them so often. And on my worst days, they can bring a smile to my face. That's what it's all about, I hope. Life, I mean.
Hope I can remember all of that when I come down from my most recent visit to cloud 9. I know it's hard...and I know that's an understatement.
Lovingly,
PennyBTW- You were one of the first to respond to my first post to this board. You told me then what a wonderful support it had been for you. I know things are rough for you right now, but hoping I can give you some support in return.
Posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 0:05:19
In reply to Re: Please be civil, posted by Penny on March 26, 2002, at 22:17:42
Thank you Penny. Your support means a lot to me, and it's good to hear I gave you some too.
I'm just not myself again yet. But it was rude of me to break down quite so publicly. It may be hard to tell from recent weeks, but I usually fall apart much more quietly.
I've taken a couple of Klonopin and I'll feel better until they've worn off.
Thanks again. You are very kind.
Dinah
Posted by IsoM on March 27, 2002, at 0:44:55
In reply to Re: Please be civil » Penny, posted by Dinah on March 27, 2002, at 0:05:19
Dear Dinah, your view of the world is a wonderful view to have. I don't see things as you do but that doesn't mean I can't understand why you see life like that. It's a beautiful way to look at things.
People need to understand that different views are just that - viewpoints. Look at the great works in music, literature, & art. Most intelligent people will agree that each work was created by an artistic genuis. That doesn't mean everyone needs to agree whether they enjoy the same works.
I believe it is the same with people's views. An intelligent person will base their view (or opinion) on certain facts & feelings that are unique to each individual. One's opinion is not necessarily better than another's. But we may be more inclined to agree with views that we hold similar feelings on.
Dinah, you've always been sweet & civil. Few people seem to realise that you are literally as you write. From their previous social interactions with others & past experiences dating back to early childhood, each person tends to interpret another's words in different ways. People look for interpretation in what you say - & there is none.
I don't want to sound harsh, but perhaps it may be better not to post for a while until you feel stable. If you'd like to read posts (or even comment), best to stick to just those people you know are innocuous. Please take care.
Posted by Zo on March 27, 2002, at 3:34:44
In reply to No, seriously. Thank you for the feedback Zo., posted by Dinah on March 26, 2002, at 19:25:16
I've known that spiral of shame all too well. I hope you reap some good meaning from this one. . .my sense is that you already have, that you always do.
I know that getting the meds balanced has been the key, for me. . .Nowadays, the spiral never even starts. It's amazing. I encourage you to persevere!
Zo
Posted by beardedlady on March 27, 2002, at 6:11:12
In reply to Re: Sorry, still sad. « Zo, posted by Dr. Bob on March 26, 2002, at 18:45:37
Dinah:
I didn't think your post was "stinging" at all, nor did I feel you were pushing me away--as much as a person could push on an anonymous bulletin board! See, it goes both ways. If I am allowed to make a statement that you disagree with, then you are allowed to do the same. And neither of us is allowed to get our knickers in a bunch! If your post was judgmental, that stuff doesn't bother me a bit. If mine was, oh well. I am not Jesus (or Christian). I am judged; I judge. But I do adhere to the Golden Rule. And since I don't mind a little debate, I debate.
But there's the difference between us. I am full of self-confidence and esteem. It's not because I am stuck up or beautiful or exceptionally smart or wildly talented (though I am--hahahaha); it's that my parents instilled those things in me all my life. "They fuck you up/your mom and dad." Or they don't.
I guess I should have responded to this post sooner, but I didn't know just how sensitive you were.
Really, this is just a bulletin board of (mostly) well-meaning strangers. It's not exactly real life. These are not folks who are going to see you at the grocery store and day, "Ooh--there's Dinah. She's that sensitive chick from PSB!" Posts should not send you into a tizzy and make you cry! And if they do, I guess Zo is right, and you should take a break.
But our advice differs here: Don't even read the stuff--any of it. Because you'll be curious and want to read on in your threads, and not much will be there to stop you, and the cycle will continue.
And stop apologizing! You don't owe it to anyone except yourself.
I wish you luck and a good shot of ego.
beardy : )>
> > "You too beardy? I feel so sad for both of you. Where on earth do you meet people?"
> >
> > Dinah, sweetie, I felt and still feel this was rather a stinging post; it reads a bit condescending or judgemental.
> >
> > I know if someone said those two things to me, unless they were already a good friend, I'd feel pushed away by them. My guess is that you don't mean to, not at all. . .but often the tone of your posts, when I first "met" you, seemed to telegraph, Don't get close to me!
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