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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Susan47 on October 17, 2005, at 19:09:39
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh, posted by caraher on October 16, 2005, at 19:54:14
>
> I heard about some folks in California who live in this sort of open marriage commune thing and basically make their living off "demonstrations" of orgasms lasting ridiculous lengths of time.Ew.
>
> As for men... an effort to study the brain during orgasm yielded data for women but not for men.
>
> "Similar research on the men yielded unsatisfactory results, as the male orgasm is brief, lasting only about 20 seconds."
>
> That would be exceptionally long in my experience.I think I'd agree, I was reading the 20 seconds thinking, That Long? Really? That's considered Brief????? Brief would be something like two seconds, wouldn't it? I've known men who paid about a total of twenty seconds' worth of attention to their orgasm, their woman, and their fore- and after-play. Needless to say, these have never been the Deep types I like. One of them was even a husband.. all the years I forgot what it's like to Take Your Time. I'm so jealous of people who have full-time partners. Aaaaggggghhhhh.
Posted by fairywings on October 18, 2005, at 8:50:31
In reply to Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh, posted by Susan47 on October 16, 2005, at 11:57:51
So here's the question, when you're super active sexually and you're, like, in the middle of your day and you suddenly think you wet your pants but you know you didn't, and all this post-orgasmic fluid comes suddenly gushing out all at once, and you have to actually go and change your panties AND YOUR PANTS..
Hi Tamar, I've never had this happen, but I think we all produce different amounts of fluid.
> It's, like, when you're breast-feeding and overfull and having your breasts leak in public, suddenly there's this incredibly powerful thing happen to your body and you have No Control.
>
Yep, been there. Embarrassing.> Discovered I'm multiply orgasmic AND I have this ability, which I read about but never knew I could ever get to, to delay my orgasms and play with my excitement level, I can make the O laSt longer and longer if I want to, or make it happen Now .. I love this,
I am too, and I can make it last, but I usually want to have a couple or 3 and then be done, enjoy it of course, but not take too long. I always feel like I"m on the clock because I have so much to squeeze in during toddlers nap time and when the kids get home from school. Sometimes I have trouble making it happen, and it can take longer than I'd like. Wish I knew a quicker way.
I do wish guys were able to be multi orgasmic, I"ve read some are, but I think it's a huge minority.
> Okay, enough smutty talk. Sorry. I also discovered, and now this is about Orgasms, okay? So don't freak out and be warned if you're still reading, but yesterday I discovered so many things.
That's great!
fw
Posted by Susan47 on October 18, 2005, at 20:05:49
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 18, 2005, at 8:50:31
> > Discovered I'm multiply orgasmic AND I have this ability, which I read about but never knew I could ever get to, to delay my orgasms and play with my excitement level, I can make the O laSt longer and longer if I want to, or make it happen Now .. I love this,
>
> I am too, and I can make it last, but I usually want to have a couple or 3 and then be done, enjoy it of course, but not take too long. I always feel like I"m on the clock because I have so much to squeeze in during toddlers nap time and when the kids get home from school. Sometimes I have trouble making it happen, and it can take longer than I'd like. Wish I knew a quicker way.
FW,
I think there Is a quicker way, here it is, the secret, learn to relax in as short a space of time as possible. You can't O if you're not completely mentally relaxed, which leads to physical, which leads to Heaven on earth. So learn some relaxation techniques, even if you have to use a drug or something to help you get there, because sometimes that's the only way we can teach our bodies new things, sometimes we do need a li'l help, to begin with. So how does this save you time? Well, you'll have your O, number two, you'll get there easier and faster therefor more time now, to get back to being Mother Worrywart.
Posted by Susan47 on October 18, 2005, at 20:08:00
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 18, 2005, at 8:50:31
I suspect if the multi-orgasmic thing isn't just related to gender, as it apparently isn't, then it's a matter of mind over matter, and if it don't matter, you won't mind ... or something like that. I don't have a mind so it doesn't matter.
Posted by fairywings on October 18, 2005, at 21:53:29
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh, posted by Susan47 on October 18, 2005, at 20:05:49
So how long should it take to have 1 - 3? Time is money when the baby's napping! ; )
fw
Posted by Tamar on October 19, 2005, at 19:43:07
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 18, 2005, at 21:53:29
> So how long should it take to have 1 - 3? Time is money when the baby's napping! ; )
>
> fwWell, I've read that breathing can help. If you start out breathing the way you breathe when you're nearly there, apparently you can get there quicker. Breathe faster, breathe deeper... that's what I read...
I know what you mean about when the baby's napping!
Tamar
Posted by Susan47 on October 19, 2005, at 20:24:15
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 18, 2005, at 21:53:29
Well you know after the first one the rest come more easily, so practice and see, Lucky You!
Posted by fairywings on October 19, 2005, at 20:42:34
In reply to making it quicker » fairywings, posted by Tamar on October 19, 2005, at 19:43:07
> Well, I've read that breathing can help. If you start out breathing the way you breathe when you're nearly there, apparently you can get there quicker. Breathe faster, breathe deeper... that's what I read...
>I hold my breath, and I know you're not supposed to, but I can't seem to get "over the edge" unless I do. I'll work on it! ; )
> I know what you mean about when the baby's napping!
Did we ever realize, once we had kids, that we'd seach so hard for self gratification?! ; ) Good thing they nap!
fw>
Posted by fairywings on October 19, 2005, at 20:44:19
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh » fairywings, posted by Susan47 on October 19, 2005, at 20:24:15
> Well you know after the first one the rest come more easily, so practice and see, Lucky You!
WHAT am I doing wrong? Mine don't come more easily! Not that I don't enjoy working for them, and they're always good, but each one is in and of itself like trying to get the first!
fw
Posted by Susan47 on October 20, 2005, at 20:18:31
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 19, 2005, at 20:44:19
Well I wouldn't say you're doing Anything wrong, that's too harsh, we are talking about something which is supposed to be pleasurable. Feeling like you're doing something "wrong" just isn't helpful :)
That's what a therapist might say ... maybe you should seek sex therapy, maybe I should seek it, but first I have to have somebody to have sex WITH, you have that at least.. let me know if you figure it out, because getting to that first one can be tough for me, but once I've had it I just kind of don't let go of the whatever it is that got me there in the first place, I don't know. Is the secret to completely relax in between, maybe?
Posted by Susan47 on October 20, 2005, at 22:09:01
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 19, 2005, at 20:44:19
Going to strip, oops I already am, naked at the keyboard, heehee, I'm bad, I'm going to lie in front of a mirror now and pose. Cheesecake, dahling, cheesecake.
Anybody else do this or am I the owwwwnly one? I think it's hormal, my boobs're big and sore and I THINK but am not sure and certainly not ready, NO .. the big change of life is rearing her ugly head around the corner, just there, the next .. well I was going to say the next paving stone, but really I think the corner is more like half a block away. Maybe just a bit less.
Posted by fairywings on October 21, 2005, at 7:51:22
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh » fairywings, posted by Susan47 on October 20, 2005, at 20:18:31
I have lots of little ones, but those are never good enough. I go for the groundshaking ones, and gotta have at least two when I'm flying solo! ; ) Relaxing did help get me to the first one faster, but I"m like you I don't let go of that first big one and then I want more. Because I"m trying not to spend too much time on it and because I know the kids will be home from school I feel like I have to accomplish it in a certain time frame.
Don't pose cheesecake, hate to look in the mirror. After 4 kids everythings gone south. I hate that.
fw
Posted by Tamar on October 21, 2005, at 17:16:31
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 21, 2005, at 7:51:22
I'm intrigued...
Posted by Susan47 on October 21, 2005, at 20:35:42
In reply to Re: Vibrators, (SuperLong, Intimate too) Sigh » Susan47, posted by fairywings on October 21, 2005, at 7:51:22
Yes well as to the cheesecake I'm coming back from India with a tan, baby. I better. It's costing enough to get it.
What an attitude.
India.
A poverty-stricken nation, billions of horribly suffering people live here .. and I have the leisure, the luxury, of being able, very sinfully if there is such a thing in Reality, after all, sin is a man-made device .. I believe .. I can hatefully be able to say, I have that capacity, that I'm going there to enjoy the climate.
A climate in which thousands of people die every year, because they are too poor, they are unable to move even a block away from where they inhabit now.
But I can travel half a world away to .. spectate. Is that a word? It feels like it should be a word, but I don't think it is.
Back to the main subject tho
I have the luxury to to able to take pleasure in sex.
I have the luxury of feeling good about myself.
Even if I don't get everything I want, if I continue to have to be alone, at least I have that, which is a heck of a lot more than a lot of people have, so I just decided I'm not going to complain about my sexuality ever again. It's not everything I want, just as my body isn't everything I want, or my lifestyle, but at least I have so much more than so many.
Posted by Susan47 on October 21, 2005, at 20:38:25
In reply to what is cheesecake?, posted by Tamar on October 21, 2005, at 17:16:31
Think buxom smiling girls air-brushed to the max.
Think, big, glossy lips.
Sparkling white teeth.
A coy smile.
A girl with big eyes, looking slightly upward at you, pushing herself forward, the ultimate come-on.
I think that's cheesecake, but I'm not sure. Anyway, it's an exaggeration to say cheesecake for what I was doing, I was more, like, just looking at parts of me that have to do with sex, and trying to imagine what it would look like to somebody else. Weird, very strange.
Posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 17:27:30
In reply to Re: what is cheesecake? » Tamar, posted by Susan47 on October 21, 2005, at 20:38:25
> Think buxom smiling girls air-brushed to the max.
> Think, big, glossy lips.
> Sparkling white teeth.
> A coy smile.
> A girl with big eyes, looking slightly upward at you, pushing herself forward, the ultimate come-on.Definitely not me, then! Mind you, if I were airbrushed maybe I could be closer to cheesecake...
> I think that's cheesecake, but I'm not sure.
Anyway, it's an exaggeration to say cheesecake for what I was doing, I was more, like, just looking at parts of me that have to do with sex, and trying to imagine what it would look like to somebody else. Weird, very strange.Not so strange! I think it's a fundamental part of being female... we focus so easily on what attractive *about* us rather than what's attractive *to* us.
So when you look at your body, what does it look like to *you*?
I like my breasts...
Posted by fairywings on October 23, 2005, at 18:38:17
In reply to Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 17:27:30
> Not so strange! I think it's a fundamental part of being female... we focus so easily on what attractive *about* us rather than what's attractive *to* us.i'm glad you can think of yourself and look at yourself and be kind. i think i tend to focus more on what's attractive about other ppl, but not about me. i don't like my body.
>
> So when you look at your body, what does it look like to *you*?
>
> I like my breasts...that might be an okay part of me, but not much else.
fw
Posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 18:50:15
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by fairywings on October 23, 2005, at 18:38:17
> i'm glad you can think of yourself and look at yourself and be kind. i think i tend to focus more on what's attractive about other ppl, but not about me. i don't like my body.
I know. I struggle with it too. And yet when I notice the men I’m attracted to, none of them have ‘perfect’ bodies, but I find them attractive because they are who they are. For example, my husband weighs about 300 pounds but it suits him (he’s also 6’6” and has the biggest feet I’ve ever seen…). So perhaps my ‘imperfections’ aren’t as unattractive to other people as I think they are.
> > I like my breasts...
>
> that might be an okay part of me, but not much else.Well, that’s a very good thing! I read recently that it’s one of the first things men notice about women… so if yours are nice you’re off to a flying start!
Tamar
Posted by caraher on October 23, 2005, at 20:03:05
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread... » fairywings, posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 18:50:15
> So perhaps my ‘imperfections’ aren’t as unattractive to other people as I think they are.
Just to toss in my own viewing habits ;) I like to look at what pleases me, not what displeases me. By contrast, so often women are highly self-critical about their bodies and focus obsessively on whatever they think are their least appealing features. When you do that you're certainly not seeing yourself the way I would see you, and I'd imagine the same goes for how most other people would see you as well.
Having grown up with three sisters and currently married to an... ummm... "outspoken" woman, I'd also like to add that the women I've known have far keener eyes when it comes to spotting "flaws" in other women than I do, and I don't think I'm exceptionally unobservant.
Posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 20:18:53
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by caraher on October 23, 2005, at 20:03:05
> Just to toss in my own viewing habits ;)
:)
> I like to look at what pleases me, not what displeases me. By contrast, so often women are highly self-critical about their bodies and focus obsessively on whatever they think are their least appealing features. When you do that you're certainly not seeing yourself the way I would see you, and I'd imagine the same goes for how most other people would see you as well.
That’s probably true… and it would account for all sort of events that surprised me immensely…
> Having grown up with three sisters and currently married to an... ummm... "outspoken" woman, I'd also like to add that the women I've known have far keener eyes when it comes to spotting "flaws" in other women than I do, and I don't think I'm exceptionally unobservant.
Yeah. I think we women can be our own worst enemies. I must admit I’m not keen on spotting flaws in other women except on the few occasions when I’m feeling particularly cr*p about myself, and somehow seeing someone with a flabbier tummy than I have can make me feel better about myself. It’s not helpful, really, because (a) there aren’t many women who look more postpartum than I do, and (b) men don’t notice that stuff anyway; they’re too busy looking at my amazing breasts (tee hee).
Posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:33:46
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread... » fairywings, posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 18:50:15
> > I’m attracted to, none of them have ‘perfect’ bodies, but I find them attractive because they are who they are.
Same here. Nothing much to do with looks at all.
>For example, my husband weighs about 300 pounds but it suits him (he’s also 6’6” and has the biggest feet I’ve ever seen…).
Sounds like a big teddy bear of a guy! ; ) Bet he gives great hugs!
> Well, that’s a very good thing! I read recently that it’s one of the first things men notice about women…
LOL, I had to laugh at this because I did notice not too long ago someone who shouldn't have been looking at them was! LOL And I had to smile to myself because I caught him. I don't think he noticed I caught him, but now every time I see him I wonder if he's looking, and I know a secret about him - he's a breast man! ; )
fw
Posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:41:11
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by caraher on October 23, 2005, at 20:03:05
Caraher, if you weren't married, and I wasn't married, I'd be asking you for a date! You are always so wonderfully honest and sweet.
I get down on myself when I'm not exercising everyday. When I am I feel pretty good, so I guess for me body image is wrapped up a lot in my emotional health. I started back to running today, and felt good about it, so maybe feeling good about me will follow.
(((hugs)))
fw
Posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:50:12
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread... » caraher, posted by Tamar on October 23, 2005, at 20:18:53
> > I think we women can be our own worst enemies.
I usually look less at the women who have the flaws than the women who look better than I do, and wonder how they look so good.
You know what I hate is seeing a woman have who don't seem to have a clue about what they wear. I've seen teens at the mall who should NOT wear belly shirts. And women who are large-ish wearing skin tight clothes, or letting tummy show - like a belly shirt. Or shirts that are showing buxom breasts in all their glory, in very inappropriate locations - like school. And older women dressing like teen-agers.
I know it's none of my business, but you have to wonder what ppl are thinking. They're probably wondering what in the heck I'm thinking dressing the way I do! ; ) LOL
Posted by rainbowbrite on October 24, 2005, at 20:07:44
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread..., posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:50:12
> I know it's none of my business, but you have to wonder what ppl are thinking.
HAHA first off i just read some of this thread!! LMAO you guys totally crack me up!
and second, I know exacly what you mean FW! :-0
Posted by Susan47 on October 24, 2005, at 20:27:40
In reply to Re: Don't want to kill the VIBRATOR thread... » Tamar, posted by fairywings on October 24, 2005, at 18:33:46
With regard to your last post, what you said about someone who shouldn't have been looking but was, my ex-T stared outright, I mean Outright. I couldn't understand it, because he seemed to sedate and cautious in other ways. But when he didn't realize he was being watched, the most amazing looks came over his cute little face. God, I loved that man.
I remembe him starting right straight at my crotch one day when I was sitting cross-legged. It was sweet/funny/pathetic/irritating/sexy and outrageous. And good, really excellent, fodder for anger.
That irritated me about him. He seemed to think everything was about sex and him. Sex and him. Sex and him. Or was it just me?
No it was not.
Either that, or he is (and I really suspect this) not as sophisticated as he plays.
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