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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 25 of 44. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Anonymous21 on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:20
I have been sexual active for 4 years now and consider myself very experienced with all positions and diffrent types of sex. But I only have orgasms when I am pleasuring myself. I love the feeling of a penis thrusting in and out but it doesn't bring me to a climax. I have tried every diffrent way I can think of but the only way I climax is if I help with the pleasure. I am soon to be married and I don't want to tell my fiance every time we've made love I faked an orgasm just to make him feel good, or for him to climax. Is there any way possible that my pleasure dome can be injured to where I have little feeling. I was raped twice at a very young age so would that have anything to do with it? If so and you have any information on what I could do please help me and let me know!
Posted by Kimbersaur on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:21
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
I know how you feel, except I cant climax even with masturbation. At least you can have an orgasm somehow.
Posted by Optimist on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:22
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Kimbersaur on December 9, 2004, at 9:22:44
If you can orgasm by yourself, it may just be the method of contact. Many women can only have orgasms from cliteral stimulation. I think the figure is around 70% of women, which is the majority. So if cliteral stimulation is missing during intercourse that may be the problem. Have your partner or yourself aid in that department and it most likely will make a difference.
It's not dysfunctional that you can't have strictly vaginal stimulation orgasms. It's very common. Some women are just wired differently and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Posted by ed_uk on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:23
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
Hi,
A good way for your partner to give you an orgasm would be to ask him to use a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris, apparantly it works very well!
Regards,
Ed.
Posted by jclint on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:24
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
I think your unfortunate experiences *may* be a factor. I remember listening to a radio show with a sex councellor who worked with lots of situations identical to what you describe. If it really is the cause, I expect that a few sessions with some sort of sex councellor (they probably have a more formal name!) would be very helpful. Then again of course, your experiences might not be the problem at all.
Posted by Sebastian on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:26
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
I would say the rape had something to do with it. I also know that women take longer to orgasam than men. Usualy you have to do it over again right after, and give instructions.
Posted by gromit on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:27
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Optimist on December 9, 2004, at 9:40:36
> If you can orgasm by yourself, it may just be the method of contact. Many women can only have orgasms from cliteral stimulation. I think the figure is around 70% of women, which is the majority. So if cliteral stimulation is missing during intercourse that may be the problem. Have your partner or yourself aid in that department and it most likely will make a difference.
My wife provides the cliteral stimuation during intercourse, I'm ok with this but some guys may not be. Maybe you can try being on top, you have more control. If nothing else from a logistical standpoint your partner will be able to provide the needed stimulation more easily. I've been with my wife 12 years and only recently she has been able to climax just from intercourse alone.
I would think at least you are going to have some trust issues with men because of being raped. Be honest with your partner and if he isn't willing to at least do what you need in bed maybe you should think carefully before making a lifelong commitment.
Take what I say with a grain of salt, I am an idiot and don't claim to understand women at all.
Rick
Posted by MKB on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:27
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
This probably will sound very strange to most people, but the only time I (female) have been able to climax during intercourse was when I prayed for it.
Posted by owenus32 on December 10, 2004, at 22:32:28
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by MKB on December 9, 2004, at 22:37:07
I am a lonlely man lol
Posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 22:48:19
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by gromit on December 9, 2004, at 21:13:44
AS I read all I can think about is my therapist, my ex-therapist, my last therapist, my good-bye guy, whatever.
Ouch oh ouchie ouch. Jesus Mary and Joseph.
Posted by Dinah on December 10, 2004, at 23:52:59
In reply to This thread is too hot for me, posted by Susan47 on December 10, 2004, at 22:48:19
I'm always in favor of normalizing and demystifying sex.
Not being able to have an orgasm during intercourse itself generally is a purely physical issue easily corrected with the proper techniques.
Now, not being able to orgasm unless you're alone might have psychological overtones. (Shuffles uneasily an looks guiltily at feet.)
Posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2004, at 6:03:23
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by jclint on December 9, 2004, at 11:47:31
Like, there's no such thing as toooo much garlic when cooking, the verdict is in;
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOOOO MUCH FOREPLAY!!!!
Rod
Posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2004, at 6:13:54
In reply to I like this thread :), posted by Dinah on December 10, 2004, at 23:52:59
> (Shuffles uneasily and looks guiltily at feet.)
><<< ...please tell me this isn't a "foot-fetish" afterglow?
Rod
PS: No matter. Your secret is safe with me....lol
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 11, 2004, at 9:28:54
In reply to (((Dinah)))..., posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2004, at 6:13:54
I love intercourse as well, but there is NO WAY I'm going to have an orgasm from it. I require direct stimulation of the clitoris which my husband is happy to do.
I think it's fairly rare to be able to have the big O from intercourse alone. The few times I have accomplished this I have been on top.
But I think you're problem is in now wanting clitoral stimulation when your fiance thinks you can get along just fine without it. How about suggesting that you'd like to try clitoral stimulation during intercourse and then tell him how GREAT the orgasm was, better than no stimulation. I bet it will soon become part of the repertoire. Men love to see their women having great orgasms!
Posted by Tabitha on December 11, 2004, at 17:08:21
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
You might want to do some research about the anatomy of the clitoris. Did you know the clitoris is about 4 inches long? The visible part is only the tip-- it's the sensory equivalent of the head of the penis. The clitoris extends downward toward the vagina. The vagina itself is more equivalent to a man's scrotum. Expecting a woman to orgasm from intercourse alone is like expecting a man to orgasm from stimulation to the scrotum and base of the penis only. Could many men achieve that? Would they want to? If they couldn't, would they search for psychological reasons for their "problem"? I doubt it.
The standard definition of "sex" is very unfair to women. Think for a moment if "sex" for men consisted of stimulation to the scrotum only, resulting in the majority of them not climaxing at all. Wouldn't that seem wrong? Or how about the other common misconception... that clitoral stimulation is only for "foreplay" to prepare for intercourse. Again, think of the anatomical equivalent for men... what if "sex" for men consisted of stimulation to the penis until they were aroused, then it switched to the scrotum, leaving them unsatisfied? Sounds pretty much backwards, right?
Hetero "sex" needs to be re-defined.
Posted by alexandra_k on December 11, 2004, at 18:20:54
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Tabitha on December 11, 2004, at 17:08:21
I haven't managed to have an orgasm from intercourse alone (yet) - but we are working on it!
With clitoral stimulation it isn't a problem, though. What I do find, is that the more aroused I am the more the point kind of moves towards my vagina (which kind of makes sense given one of the other posts on anatomy). Then after a while just intercourse is fine to hit the spot. At least, this is what I find when I am by myself so we are working on that one.
I have recently discovered the joys of being on top. (I really cannot believe that I am writing this!). You can do what you want with it then, the only trouble for me is that I get exhausted and collapse just before... Anyway, practice will help I figure. Have fun :-)
Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:52:34
In reply to Re: The verdict is in...., posted by 64bowtie on December 11, 2004, at 6:03:23
Oh, Rod ...
I'm breathing differently all of a sudden ...
Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:54:13
In reply to orgasms, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 11, 2004, at 9:28:54
Having a vaginal orgasm is possible, Ithink if my G-spot gets stimulated. Which I haven't been able to prove, IRL, because I have no one to prove it WITH!!! hhahahaahahahaa
Posted by vwoolf on December 12, 2004, at 3:22:38
In reply to I like this thread :), posted by Dinah on December 10, 2004, at 23:52:59
Is anyone prepared to admit how often they indulge?
Posted by AdaGrace on December 12, 2004, at 11:22:07
In reply to Re: orgasms, posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:54:13
I agree, but I do get so very tired of instructing.....
Posted by Dinah on December 12, 2004, at 14:33:53
In reply to Survey, posted by vwoolf on December 12, 2004, at 3:22:38
Posted by Pfinstegg on December 12, 2004, at 16:11:41
In reply to Re: orgasms » Susan47, posted by AdaGrace on December 12, 2004, at 11:22:07
Well, my two cents...I think every woman, almost, anyway, has to start by adding on clitoral stimulation, either by oneself or by one's partner during intercourse in order to have an orgasm. Then, your brain starts to blend the two things, and so it can happen at times without specific clitoral stimulation. Also, you sort of automatically learn to bend your body so that your clitoris is included more- and, you become more knowledgeable about which positions are the best to accomplish that. OK - time to shut up!
Posted by Susan47 on December 12, 2004, at 22:21:39
In reply to Re: orgasms » AdaGrace, posted by Pfinstegg on December 12, 2004, at 16:11:41
Don't bother instructing. Bend his little bones into the right position and go for it!!!!
Posted by verne on December 12, 2004, at 22:44:14
In reply to I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by Anonymous21 on December 9, 2004, at 2:04:16
My partner and I had a similar situation. We discovered that if she were on top in the "reverse" position, she climaxed. Before that we, me mostly, did a tremedous amount of oral sex - well, we still do.
Now, can I be blocked?verne
Posted by Susan47 on December 12, 2004, at 23:02:02
In reply to Re: I NEED AN ORGASM!!!!!!!!!!!, posted by verne on December 12, 2004, at 22:44:14
Yes, I agree that position works well, but only if you don't mind staring at someone's legs rather than having awesome eye contact .. mind you, as the guy on bottom, you get to feel that nice little ass and give it the occasional smack ...
Now if you get blocked I have to be blocked as well, see now I've
been just as bad.
it sounds like you WANT to be blocked, verne, why?
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