![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 26 to 50 of 116. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on March 4, 2004, at 23:32:27
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 20:55:14
"In Session" by Deborah Lott
Sorry, I forgot to resubmit my links.
Posted by sb417 on March 4, 2004, at 23:33:49
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 20:55:14
Apperceptor,
You said that you are studying to be a clinical psychologist. I'm interested to know how far along you are in your program. Have you actually worked with patients yet? And, most important of all, have you had intensive psychotherapy yourself? If so, for how long? Have you completed your own analysis? Your post suggests that you have not. I wish you much luck in your training and hope that you have the acumen to handle your patients -- and yourself -- appropriately.
Posted by Elle2021 on March 4, 2004, at 23:44:36
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 20:55:14
> It takes a very strong psychiatrist/psychologist/therapist to work with somebody who has Borderline Personality Disorder, and you are not making it any easier by asking for these bizarre, inappropriate favors.
You are right, it probably doesn't make it any easier, but that is part of Borderline Personality Disorder. If the therapist feels unfit or unqualified to handle such a client, then perhaps the therapist should refer the client onto someone more qualified and competent.
>Would you ask your optometrist for his or her picture?
I also wouldn't divulge my inner-most thoughts to my optometrist. The relationship between me and my eye doctor is not anything like the relationship between my me and my therapist.
>We have spines too, and with that comes the ability to feel chills run up and down it with these...for lack of a better word, creepy...requests.
I feel offended by you referring to such a request as "creepy." I'm curious, do you speak this way to your clients?
> I guarantee you that transference is the first issue that would come to most professional minds with these horrid invasions of privacy.
Is asking for a picture horrid? All a therapist has to say is, "No."
>Not only do these teenybopper crushes create severe ethical dilemmas, they also are extremely insulting.
I feel as if you are trivializing other people's feelings by referring to tranference as "teenybopper crushes." How is it insulting? I would think in a certain aspect, it would be slightly flattering to know that a person admires you and finds the therapist so helpful.
>You should be ashamed of yourselves for treating your therapists like your children...they put up with enough already.
Well...they did choose the profession, did they not? No one forced them into it.
>I pray, above all else, that your therapists have the acumen and training to handle you appropriately.
I'm sure a well-trained therapist knows exactly how to deal with such problems.
>If you set foot in my office, I would drop you off my client list before you could develop a Polaroid.
Wouldn't that greatly decrease your list of clients? Many have problems very similar to this, that is precisely why they decided to seek help from a professional. You might also like to know that many of the posters on this website have also "googled" their therapist.
Respectfully,
Elle
Posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 23:46:39
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? » Apperceptor, posted by sb417 on March 4, 2004, at 23:33:49
Dinah and sb417,
I really appreciate your positive support in light of what I know was a (perhaps overly) blunt post on my part. A little background - I was in a severely troubling situation with a client prior to my doctoral training, and was recently reminded of it in a clinical class (psychodynamic, no less). I do feel that clients...myself included, I'm sure...capitalize on therapist's empathy, and perhaps forget that we have spouses, families, consciences, and weaknesses. I am just getting very frustrated...I love the idea of client's bill of rights, but sometimes I wish I/we had a few rights as well.
Regarding the more concrete questions - I am entering my second year of training. I've been seeing clients for three semesters in my program, as well as a year prior to entering doctoral training. I've gone through psychotherapy, but not psychoanalysis (however, if I win powerball, I'll be there in a heartbeat). My training program is much heavier on assessment than therapy; I am specializing in projective personality assessment (Rorschach, TAT, sentence completion, Draw-A-Person, etc).
I apoligize for the inflamatory nature of my post. While I do stand by my sentiments, I did not practice what I preach...trying to understand everyone in their context. I just ask that perhaps you consider the possiblity that your therapist may be having just as many problems as you are, and therefore is put in a very painful situation with circumstances such as photo requests.
Wiping some egg off my face, hard-boiling the rest....
> Apperceptor,
>
> You said that you are studying to be a clinical psychologist. I'm interested to know how far along you are in your program. Have you actually worked with patients yet? And, most important of all, have you had intensive psychotherapy yourself? If so, for how long? Have you completed your own analysis? Your post suggests that you have not. I wish you much luck in your training and hope that you have the acumen to handle your patients -- and yourself -- appropriately.
Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 0:08:17
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 23:46:39
I appreciate your apology. And I do understand that therapists are under pressure too. But, while it might not feel like it to you now, as you're training, therapists do have most of the power in a well conducted therapy. And part of what might come across as clinginess (and I'm sure that's how I come across) on the part of the client comes from that power differential.
If it would help you understand some clients in their own context, I will be happy to explain my motivations. I have never asked for a picture of my therapist, as I think that would be intrusive. But I do google him on occasion and read the ads in the papers with the express purpose of finding a photo. Not because I'm in love with him, but because he represents a source of security to me. And I have trouble (as many people with borderline traits do) holding on to an internalized image when he's gone.
When he was gone for extended periods of time for his other job, I asked for and he agreed to do a guided relaxation tape for me. It gave a connection while he was away. I also keep his answering machine messages for the same reason.
And when he moved, I asked if I could take a photo of his office, which was my safe place. And he graciously agreed. He asked at the time if I wanted him in the photo, but he seemed uncomfortable. I think he would have said yes, but I told him that was ok, and he left me in his room to photograph what I wanted.
None of this has any creepy connotations. I don't want to posess him or enter his life. I don't stalk him or spy on him. But he has been an important source of stability to me over a long period of time. And it helps, like a child taking a blanky to childcare, to have transitional objects.
I daresay it's possible to run into a client straight out of Fatal Attraction, but most clients probably have far more mundane reasons for wanting photographs or other forms of connection with their therapists. And before you refer them out, you might want to explore the reasons. You just might find that people aren't as scary as you thought they were. :)
But of course, if you're just going to be doing psychological testing, this really won't come up very often.
That being said, I'd love to converse with you about some of the psychological tests, if you'd be interested. I took the MMPI, and was utterly fascinated. After I took it, I learned everything I could about it. I was somewhat less impressed by the Rorshach, and the others I might have taken as a preteen, but I have long forgotten them.
Posted by pegasus on March 5, 2004, at 0:11:44
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 23:46:39
Apperceptor,
I appreciate your second post. The first one did definitely rile me up. I think it was because therapy is *such* hard work. I interpreted your comments as being very judgmental and unsupportive of the struggles that most of us have in therapy. A lot of us hate the fact that we are so dependent on our therapists. I think many of us, if we could choose, would not want to be in a position of wanting a photo of our therapists and all the rest. It's a very vulnerable position.
I'm sure that a lot of us (myself definitely) think *a lot* about the fact that our therapists have lives and problems and that we might be burdening them. We probably think about it too much sometimes. Those thoughts create major obstacles to therapy. The whole deal with therapy is that we, as clients, need to be willing to open up to our therapists and tell them extremely intimate things. Part of that is trusting that they are able and willing to handle our intimacy. I would hope that any therapist would understand that creating that type of intimate relationship is going to involve some side effects such as feeling dependent, and attached, and possibly wanting to know more about our therapists than we're allowed to know, or wanting objects that remind us of them. I would hope that a therapist who is not comfortable with those side effects would not enter into long term therapy with clients, or at least not the type that requires revealing extremely intimate and painful details of their lives. I would be mortified to find that my therapist had thoughts like some that you expressed in your first post. I'd drop therapy like a rock, and never look back. I'm going to show her your post, and discuss it with her, just to make sure I'm ok with her.
- p
Posted by sb417 on March 5, 2004, at 0:16:05
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 23:46:39
Why would a patient's request for a photo be painful to a therapist? I have asked two therapists for photos. The first one gave a photo to me at the next session. This occurred within months of my mother's death, so that may have had something to do with the fact that the therapist didn't seem to hesitate to grant my request. The second therapist (the one I see now) did not give me a photo. A year or so after requesting one from him, I found a photo of him in a medical journal. I wrote to the publisher of the journal and got a copy of the issue for myself. I also bought a copy of a book he wrote. Both the photo and his writing have been helpful and comforting to me, particularly during times of extreme stress and/or separation from him. As Elle suggested, I think some therapists might be flattered by such a request. Even if a therapist is flattered, however, that doesn't necessarily mean that they should provide a photo.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 0:58:38
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 20:55:14
I don't know but it seems to me a lot of people in here have been graciously given pictures of their T's and as they are doctors and psychologist in practice for many years they just may know a tad more about the actual real time process of the work they do than a student would. Just a thought. I am I guess saying in many years YOU may understand more tha you do now from sitting in the chair and see things less black and whire JMO
Posted by tinydancer on March 5, 2004, at 4:44:04
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 20:55:14
First of all I will point out that I'm late in the game here and it seems like the Apperceptor situation has been somewhat resolved, but this poster does say they stand by their original statements, so I feel entitled to comment, especially since I was the first one who posted this topic.
While I can see the issue from Apperceptor's point of view, I also find it disturbing that a student of pyschology can display so little understanding towards traumatized patients whom have therapists so skilled that they are able to place their trust in them enough to ask for a photograph. A skilled therapist would and should, in my opinion, encourage the patient to explore and voice all wishes, thoughts, desires, obsessions and so on. If one, as a student of psychology, was uncomfortable or at ease with dealing with the transference and possible chance for erotic transference and other similar situations, I would question the ability of this therapy to serve the client with any purpose.
I totally agree that it takes an incredibly gifted and emotionally strong therapist to succesfully treat a post trauma patient/personality disorder. I don't think it is inappropriate to feel a desire to have a photograph of people that one cares about and has confided in or found kindness in. For myself, I have for a long time collected photographs of myself with different folks who have had an impact on me (teachers, doctors, bosses, priests, counselors) to remind me of the work we accomplished together and of what that means to me. I don't know what is creepy about that. The comparison between an optometrist and a therapist is far too different to be meaningful in my opinion.
I feel that you demean the folks here who have revealed their true emotions for their therapists. For example, in my case this has absolutely never happened before and being an adult who is capable of identifying my own feelings, my feelings for my therapist are far from a teenybopper crush. They are real feelings and I experience real pain. It's nothing I would have chosen to feel. Thankfully my T takes my feelings seriously and is strong enough to be able to simultaneously illuminate the boundaries of our therapeutic relationship while still giving me comfort and reassurance.
I think it is extremely disturbing that you wish the users of this discussion board, many or most of whom ARE patients, to be ashamed of themselves. That is the last thing I think any of us should be. We have given our lives over to the hands of our therapists, trusting in their ability to heal and that is nothing to take lightly as I feel you have, and even more so, demeaned the whole therapeutic process.
I'm not sure where the agression and underlying demeaning attitude I feel you take with us is coming from, but it is a little frightful to envision the positive effect it would have on a potential client.
Posted by Kind Girl on March 5, 2004, at 8:21:07
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? » Apperceptor, posted by tinydancer on March 5, 2004, at 4:44:04
I found this thread very upsetting at first and then continued to read...yes I am still very shocked that one person's words could cut like a knife and almost destroy 2 years of trust building I have attempted with my T., and that was my reaction to the heated post above.
I AM a "kind girl" and do want to extend forgiveness and openness to learn new things so I am trying to "seek first to understand and then be understood" and not get personally offended.
I will say that I DO have pictures of my doctors with me....my obstetricians who delivered my babies (before delivery and on follow up visits, not just in the labor room) and they were DELIGHTED to take a picture with me. I have pictures of me with professors from college...and I have many pictures requested of me to take with my students....and I do not feel one bit awkward about any of it. Heck, I guess I am just a great person everyone wants a picture with! ha ha
Do I take pictures of my pharmacist or the checker at the grocery store? Naw...I give them a pass. But I do love and cherish the people in my life and give 100 percent to them and I like to remember them and think good things about them when I am not with them.
P.S. My therapist recommended taking a picture of her and then I brought in my camera and asked if I could be in it with her. She is not a narcissist (remember I was raised by 2) just a very sensitive and brilliant therapist.
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 10:35:44
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? » Apperceptor, posted by tinydancer on March 5, 2004, at 4:44:04
TinyDancer I said about the same thing above. I have been told by my T who had OVER 16 years of experience that he loves to work within transferance and ALL that goes with it...EXPERIENCE breeds skill. I am not sure this person is for real Thats just my opinion. Sorry but to be so cruel as to chew people out for how they feel and work with their experienced therapists seems suspect. JMO....I also emailed the post to my T and he said VERY INSENSITIVE and a few more things I will not post.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 5, 2004, at 11:08:05
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 23:46:39
Apperceptor,
I apologize for not addressing you directly last night. I'm afraid I felt protective of my friends here. They are a wonderfully supportive group of people who have worked very hard to place trust in their T's. I know how courageous this is because I also am in therapy right now, and it is very painful. I rely on the safety of the therapeutic frame to allow me to face my issues and work through them.As a fellow graduate student in clinical psychology (4th year), I also felt triggered. My orientation has developed from CBT, when I started, to self psychology with a humanistic/experiential bent. I remember my first experience with working with transference when I was a third year student was quite uncomfortable for me at first. (It was also extremely painful for the client to admit to me.) Thank goodness I had a supervisor who could help me process my discomfort so that I could continue to help this man. It was a valuable learning experinece for me, and crucial to his therapy progress. Perhaps you become interested in doing any therapy, you might prefer CBT or another brief model which would not focus on transference even if it is present (and it often is in some form or another.)
Since I post here both as somone in therapy and as a future T, I feel blessed to have this group accept me while wearing both hats. I certainly do not want to worry about anything jeopardizing that.
Last, perhaps you are not familiar with the tone and purpose of this board. It is for the sharing of ideas and information about psychology and therapy, but it is within a safe and supportive environment. Hence the wonderful posts from others who took the time to think rather than just provide a knee jerk reaction as I did last night.
Good luck with your studies. I certainly can relate to how hard grad school is and what you might be going through.
gg
Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 12:16:29
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? » tinydancer, posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 10:35:44
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Just a reminder. I hate to see people get Please Be Civils in replying to posts where their feelings are hurt. Dr. Bob expects that we follow the civility guidelines even when responding to a post that has gotten a Please Be Civil.
So everyone might want to doublecheck their replies to make sure they're using "I statements"?
Posted by fallsfall on March 5, 2004, at 12:25:46
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 23:46:39
I am one of those dependent patients who has a picture of her therapist (it was on the internet).
Clearly my dependency is a core issue - in fact dependency is what brought me into therapy 9 years ago. I believe that I will be able to make progress on this issue - and become less dependent (and less of a burden on my therapist). But it is a slow and painful process. Until I get to the point where the dependency is reduced to a managable level, I have to have some way to survive. I *need* a connection to my therapist to survive - that IS my pathology. I think that having his picture is much less intrusive to his professional and personal life than if I called him every day. I can think of other ways that I could "connect", but I really think that having his picture is something that makes it possible for me and him to survive until my dependency is under control.
The picture I have came from a professional site where he was essentially advertising his services as a therapist. It is a very formal portrait that completely captures his "blank slate" look. When I look at or hold the picture, I can feel the comfort and safety of his presence in my life. It helps me to internalize him so that I can get comfort from him - without having to bother him personally. It is in my control.
I have never felt sexually attracted to him (but I'm not really sexually attracted to anyone - maybe that is another issue). But I am sure that those who end up in erotic transferences have a similar story to mine - and need their therapist's help to overcome the issues that make their attachment so intense.
We do talk here a bit about how most of us who post here do have, and do need, experienced therapists. We are not typical therapy patients. We tend to have more severe problems and more complex situations that a "typical" patient. Typical patients don't feel the need for a support group around their therapy. I believe that, in therapy as in all other professions that I know of, it is best to begin one's career with simpler more straight forward tasks, and then gradually add the more challenging elements in. If a therapist started out with someone like me - I would think that I would be quite overwhelming (and in fact, I was overwhelming to a therapist I saw for 8 1/2 years - she had about 7 years experience when we started). But, even though I would dearly like to, I can't solve these issues immediately and make my therapist's life easier. These issues are WHY I am IN therapy. It is incredibly painful, and leads to feelings of hopelessness, to be told that you are an unacceptable patient BECAUSE of the issues that brought you to therapy in the first place.
There are many different kinds of clients with many different kinds of issues. Therapists have their own strengths and weaknesses. I believe that finding the right "fit" between client and therapist is essential. This allows the therapist to work within their comfort zone where they will be most effective, and allows the client to make progress and feel successful.
However, it is not always possible, in the beginning, for anyone to *know* what the issues and behavior patterns of the therapist or client are. I had 7 years of effective CBT therapy before I started to overwhelm my therapist. *I* changed (I got past the initial issues and started exhibiting my more serious core issues). In this circumstance, there needs to be an honest reevaluation of the fit between the therapist and client. In her defense, my old therapist was justifiably afraid to refer me out - I *would* have had an incredibly intense uncontrolled reaction (which probably wouldn't have been particularly theraputic for me). But it was also untheraputic for me to stay in a relationship that had become hurtful instead of helpful.
I think it is important for (new - and old) therapists to assess where their strengths and weaknesses and interests lie, and look for clients that allow them to work effectively while giving them opportunities for (managable) growth. I would just stress that if a therapist finds that they are in a situation where the are *not* able to be effectively helpful to their client, that somehow they need to help the client see the reality of this and help the client move on to someone who can be helpful.
My current therapist (Psychodynamic, Psychology of the Self) deals easily and effectively with the same transference issues that overwhelmed my old therapist. This is because they had different training, different interests and they are different people.
Yes, we can be a bit challenging. And I can see why we could feel threatening to therapists from time to time - but that's WHY we need the therapists. And I wish that I were never a burden to my therapist. Right now, I feel fortunate to have a therapist whose skills seem to be helpful to my issues.
Apperceptor, you have your own set of strengths and skills. There are many clients in the world who need the help you can give them with your own unique assets.
I would ask that you try to understand that people like me are not "bad" for having the issues that we have - we are ill. Fortunately, there are therapists who thrive on helping people like me, and there are also clients who need the kind of help that you can give.
Posted by tinydancer on March 5, 2004, at 12:50:56
In reply to Re: Everyone?, posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 12:16:29
Ok, I hope I did good. I waited awhile to even reply because I knew I would be unable to be civil at first. Not a bad thing to practice once in awhile.
Posted by justyourlaugh on March 5, 2004, at 13:53:22
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? » Apperceptor, posted by fallsfall on March 5, 2004, at 12:25:46
i read all of the above posts..
i truly dont get it...
maybe i dont like my t all that much...i view it as sometime i have to do,,not something i want to.
i also try not to depend on people..to many burns.
i would find it totally wrong of me to ask even if i wanted one...
do i want the people who depend and work with my husand everyday to have his photo?
maybe i am too much of an "island"
j
Posted by Elle2021 on March 5, 2004, at 14:54:59
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T? » Apperceptor, posted by Elle2021 on March 4, 2004, at 23:44:36
I'm sorry if my previous post sounded hostile. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. The post you wrote just struck a nerve in me. I apologize.
Elle
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 14:57:30
In reply to Apperceptor, posted by Elle2021 on March 5, 2004, at 14:54:59
Elle for what it is worth I don't think YOU were rude at all.
HUGS
Posted by obSession on March 5, 2004, at 17:12:24
In reply to Re: Do you have a picture of your T?, posted by Apperceptor on March 4, 2004, at 20:55:14
Posted by obSession on March 5, 2004, at 17:16:53
In reply to thanks for the heads up, gg, posted by underthecs on March 4, 2004, at 22:30:38
Guys im gonna challenge this "professional" on my behalf...if any of you would like to join me go for it.. I know for a fact , that clearly this individual is a complete amatuar in psychology or has gone into it for the wrong reasons....I find her more disturbing than I find us. We are natural......okay here goes...guys let her make you feel bad im gonna take her on...........
If you wonder why therapists may be hesitant to continue working with you or seem distant, try to remember that we are human, and in fact, these requests are extremely disturbing and can cause quick burnout.-Firstly let it be said that
I assume you clearly have no expertise...if I was the american psychological association you wouldnt have a license and let me tell you ...firstly to come on this site and put us all down is entirely incoreect..you have no empathy for the uniqunes of ourselve and our thereputic relationships....you dont understand the dynamics and our therapists are able to deal with us. We are not psycho murders nor are we people commiting crimes against anyone.Freud-the greatest thinker alive ..[if u disagree u obviously dont like reading abt sex] anyway if u have read the history freud was accused of making his patients fall in love with him , transferance occured with most of his clients and he understood. He wasnt afraid of it nor did he blame his clients....so maybe you should take out your personal matters with freud!
Secondly there are many ways of dealing with a patient with a BPD ever heard of dialectical behaviour therapy, evre heard about its SUCESS RATE?
"Not only do these teenybopper crushes create severe ethical dilemmas, they also are extremely insulting." firstly teenybopper crushes is a bit extreme - we arent high school kids looking a little boy , some of us arent even "in love" with our therapists which is me for one. why are they extremely insulting? natural feelings occur and some people do experience levels of transferance...as human beings we are entitled to our feelings and have ever right to them...we arent killing our therapists spouses nor are we going to sessions and ripping there clothes off.
for those people who do have romantic intrests in there therapists they know ethics and boundries the same way as therapists do and they know the difference between fantasy and reality.Many therapists make there own decisions and know just how much they can handle....are u saying that all BPD patients need to be instutionlised it is a personality disorder accoring to the DSM! should it just be written off?
I personally use the pic of my therapist for comfort when im feeling down , I dont sit there "getting off" on the picture, I dont put it on the internet or threaten any with it.
You have gone into psychology for the wrong reasons and I question how appropriate you are?
We would never step foot in your office , you clearly have no regard for humanity or the suffering of individuals...what about those patients who came from dysfunctional families and who see therapists in a parental role....I hope you never get any patients like us....we are too good for you...we have more depth and insight into psychology and the thereputic relationship than you do.
these are people in a lot of pain and they dont all have BPD-wrong analyzation-"shrink"!how would u feel if one of us had to kill ourselves due to your words.....what then?
HOPE U ENJOYED THIS LITTLE KODAK MOMENT!
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 17:30:13
In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg, posted by obSession on March 5, 2004, at 17:16:53
I hope you read my post above cause I don't think this person is for real nor does my T...so chill and lets not allow the site to be ruined by this.
A plus is my T may now ask me if I want a picture lol :)
Posted by Apperceptor on March 5, 2004, at 21:11:25
In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg » obSession, posted by Fallen4myT on March 5, 2004, at 17:30:13
Whether I am "experienced," or empathic, or even in a good position to be doing therapy right now is certainly up for debate. However, I am in clinical training...that part is for real. While I admire and respect Freud, disagreeing with him on some issues certainly does not make one "non-psychological" (and unfortunately, the current atmosphere seems to feel those who do agree with Freud are the wrong ones. I think he was a lot more intelligent than he is presently getting credit for).
I would not try to pose as a psychologist, nor am I trying to say I am a psychologist. I am a student, and yes, I have my own approach to therapy that will hopefully grow and change between now and beginning practice...God knows it already has in the mere 18 months I've been in this program.
ObSession, to answer two of your points...I am aware of DBT, and I do not think individuals with BPD all need hospitalization; in fact, I've done DBT with borderlines. Marsha Linehan...who could compete with Freud in terms of brilliance, has indeed found a very effective system and I personally love it. I've used "wise mind" with not only BPD clients, but depressed and anxious as well...often with fantastic results. However, part of what I like so much about DBT, is that it is very clear about defining boundaries. In my mind, the picture issue crosses boundaries.
Which brings me to another point...I discussed this issue with my "mentor" in the program today, and she seemed to take a middle line between my own view and those who strongly disagree. I do have respect for your therapists, and if they feel comfortable with the picture issue, I think it's fine. In that sense, I recant what I said last night as applies to your individual cases. However, I still have to hold that I'd really ask clients of all diagnoses, genders, marital statuses, etc, etc, to please consider that their therapists may be extremely uncomfortable with such requests, and in some cases, feel quite violated.
In regard to the mention of my post triggering suicidal feelings, I obviously did not intend for that nor did I anticipate the possiblity. I believe in more of a "tough love" approach. However, if anyone felt hurt to the core by my post, I apologize. If you feel suicidal, whether or not it is due to what was said in my post, please contact someone you know well and trust with your well-being.
If I have caused such pain in someone, I'd like to open up to a personal email or correspondence.
Posted by terrics on March 5, 2004, at 21:51:48
In reply to Y'all are much nicer than me » Apperceptor, posted by gardenergirl on March 5, 2004, at 11:08:05
It always makes me sad when there is conflict here. terrics
Posted by fallsfall on March 5, 2004, at 22:13:06
In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg, posted by Apperceptor on March 5, 2004, at 21:11:25
>In my mind, the picture issue crosses boundaries.
I have done a lot of reading of psychology books (those targeted at therapists, mostly - I bought Linehan's book and manual 8 years ago), and feel that I have a pretty good understanding for why there are boundaries.
Can you explain why my having a publically available picture of my therapist crosses any boundaries? I don't understand why it would make a therapist uncomfortable to know that I have a picture. Also, why would it be crossing boundaries to ask for a picture if I didn't have one (understanding that he would have the right to say no)?
I do understand that different therapists have different boundaries - because they are different people with different needs. But I'm not understanding why any therapist would feel violated if a patient asked to have a picture of them.
Truly trying to understand your point of view,
Falls
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 6, 2004, at 0:21:28
In reply to Re: thanks for the heads up, gg, posted by Apperceptor on March 5, 2004, at 21:11:25
I thought about someones post as well as my therapist's remarks on it. I as well as he, and his many years of experience, feel that it is OK to ask and say anything in therapy. It is the JOB of your therapist to **deal with their own discomfort** IF any, and or seek the help of someone else(supervisor etc) to help them deal with it. It is NOT your job to save your T from discomfort. That is JUST OFF IMO. SO ASK AWAY if you want a picture and you may or may not get it but you WILL get the help of your T in underatanding why you want and need one and it can open up many areas for both of you. These are experienced professionals and they will DEAL with discomfort. Please don't THINK it YOUR job to save your T from discomfort as it IS NOT. AND THAT IS FROM A MAN WHO HAS OVER 15 YEARS AS A PSYCHOLOGIST
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