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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 39 to 63 of 110. Go back in thread:
Posted by Deputy 10derheart on August 13, 2007, at 9:39:11
In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again, posted by Fivefires on August 12, 2007, at 19:59:44
"I remember thinking why didn't the poster say 'I feel hurt or violated' and thinking this person is really angry and attacking the previous poster."
Keeping in mind that the idea here is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused, could you please rephrase that? Maybe it will help to take another look at the problematic phrases I pointed out in my request (PBC) to you earlier in this thread? Thanks.
If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to this post, should of course themselves be civil.
Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this request was made in error.
10derHeart, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
Posted by Fivefires on August 13, 2007, at 12:17:35
In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again » Fivefires, posted by sunnydays on August 12, 2007, at 21:31:49
> > I wanted to reply to you personally sunnydays, but you don't have babble feature on.
>
> **** That's a privacy thing for me. While I like everyone here, there's no interaction I wish to have with anyone that could not be said on the boards. I know it is sometimes used to send supportive messages that are more intimate, but even though I know it is anonymous, I just don't feel safe using it.
>
> >
> > I have some friends here who know me better than others. If I could talk to you alone sunnydays, you might understand me better.
>
> **** I am in chat sometimes if you catch me there. But I don't feel comfortable with the idea of Babblemail so I don't use it. Maybe I'm old-fashioned in that way, but I've seen lots of problems fed into by Babblemail here, so I prefer to stick with what can be said on the boards.
>
>
> >
> > I don't understand why some people don't have their babble feature on.(?) I'm always thinkin', 'Do they like have a bigger and better life than me or something'? I know, great self-esteem, huh? Does anyone else ever wonder about this? It's like the more a person hides, the more you want to see them!
>
> **** I don't think I'm hiding.
>That was a joke.
>
I do have a life outside of Babble, but that has nothing to do with not using Babblemail because the time I spend on the Internet could easily be used to reply to Babblemails. I don't hide the important things about myself here, I don't think. Things like where I live, my name, other things that I think might be identifying I don't want anyone to know and they wouldn't find out if I were to use to Babblemail anyway.
>
>
> >
> > I just saw a situation here where two people I care about were upset and tried to help.
>
> *** I appreciate that. I didn't say you weren't trying to help.
>
>
> >
> > I remember thinking why didn't the poster say 'I feel hurt or violated' and thinking this person is really angry and attacking the previous poster.
>
> **** Yes, and I was just saying that I thought you were making an assumption there about the poster's intentions. Who can know if that assumption is true except that poster?
>
> I can't recall if poster said 'I feel angry'. I don't know where 'I assumed' for sure, but 'I've been called on the carpet' for doing this in my life b4. Maybe you'd include my post and I could better see my error.
>
> **** Well, I don't think we're allowed to quote from other posts.>
>What?
>
I do believe the poster said she felt angry at some point. I don't want to go through a blow by blow of your post. I don't think it's helpful to get into something like that.
>
>
> > When I speak w/ someone outside babble, I'll either ask them to be discreet, or I'll say I don't care if the whole world knows. How could you be sure the latter wasn't the situation?
>
> **** Well.... Ozland seemed not to have wanted the entire world to know judging from her reaction.You said you *saw* something wrong, in your prior post to me, referring to the initial post. And, now you're *judging*. These seem an awfully lot like the *making assumptions* that you drug me in here to accuse me of doing.
>
So that's how I know she didn't say she cared if the whole world knew.
>Huh?
>
She may or may not have said specifically to be discreet, but there are some things that I think that shouldn't have to be specifically requested for.
>
>
> > Of course not, but there's kind of a gray line there. Do we assume everything outside not be brought in?
>
> **** Yes, I would think so. I think that there is always a reason people wouldn't post something on the boards, and that unless the poster discloses something from outside on the boards themselves, it should remain off the boards. They may feel comfortable telling you something personally, but not the thousands of people that have access to it through Google.
>
> I think when we talk about things that are really private, it's sometimes important to add that we wish the person to be discreet. It might be ez to forget for some people now and then. I've probably done it and not even realized it.
>
> **** Everyone probably has at some point. But I think that everyone should be particularly careful when dealing with privacy issues and the Internet and it should be a thought not far from people's minds when they are posting and communicating here. Fortunately or not, all of our words on the boards are archived on Google. I think a lot of things shouldn't require someone to add they wish discretion... it should be a blanket assumption here. Lack of discretion should be the exception, I would think.
>
> I care about privacy more now than when I first started here, because of situations like this occurring. Now, I'm so worried my child*en will read all of this when I'm 6foot under, they'll all come and stomp on me!
>
> **** I can't tell whether or not you are joking here.Joking.
>
Privacy is certainly an important issue to many people, though, so I'm glad you care about it.
>
>
> > I was truly just sharing an idea for everyone involved, including myself.
>
> *** And you're perfectly entitled to do so.
>I don't mean to sound condescending, but I don't believe I've violated anyone's privacy here and I am too ill to be, what feels like, lectured.
I'd appreciate it, please, also, if you'd not lend yourself to telling me what I am entitled to do here, unless, of course, you are a deputy.
>
sunnydays
>Your welcome, 5f
Posted by Gabbi-2 on August 13, 2007, at 16:02:15
In reply to Re: What can I do? » OzLand, posted by NikkiT2 on August 12, 2007, at 17:47:23
Nikki said it for me too.
Shocked and revolted.> OzLand,
>
> I know I don't post on PB often anymore, but I just wanted to say how shocked I feel after reading this thread, and to just let you know you have my support..
>
> Not much, I know..
>
> Nikki x
Posted by Fivefires on August 13, 2007, at 17:12:52
In reply to Re: please rephrase that, posted by Fivefires on August 13, 2007, at 17:07:12
> > "I remember thinking why didn't the poster say 'I feel hurt or violated or angry', as it would have been easier to deal with the issue if the poster had given the other poster an opening such as the prior. Without this, I felt as if one poster was attacking another poster for a reason that was not clear to me."
> >
> > Keeping in mind that the idea here is not to post anything that could lead others to feel accused, could you please rephrase that? Maybe it will help to take another look at the problematic phrases I pointed out in my request (PBC) to you earlier in this thread?
>I'm sorry 10derheat, but I did not receive the PBC. I mean, it is not in my inbox and it never came to my inbox.
Is a PBC supposed to come to me like a notification?
>
Thanks.
> >You're welcome.
5f
> > If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
> >
> > http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
> >
> > Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to this post, should of course themselves be civil.
> >
> > Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this request was made in error.
> >
> > 10derHeart, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by Fivefires on August 13, 2007, at 17:54:58
In reply to Please be civil » Fivefires, posted by Deputy 10derheart on August 12, 2007, at 18:01:49
> >I feel there's 'an attack' in your statement.
I did not say, 'There's an attack in your statement'. I said, 'what I felt’, and I further suggested I did NOT believe it was the poster's intention to attack.
> > There wasn't a problem very acutely visible to others until you reacted.
>What I meant here is ‘I and any others, who weren't involved in the situation occurring, and didn't have knowledge of the level of privacy there was in this poster to poster relationship' would have been less drawn to pay any attention if the poster had not responded, but instead chosen to use the babble feature if possible, or notified administration. I understand it's so hard not to react; I do it way too much. But here online, we have time 'to think' before we hit the send button. These two posters have been across the wires from me for years, so I know they've been across the wires from each other for years, and I wished, out of the length of the relationship at least, the poster had chosen one of the latter options. There would have been less pain and less publicity.
> > You may deserve to be and feel angry, but afa I understand, we're not allowed to attack one another here.
>The poster used the other poster's name and spoke to others about how she felt angry towards her in at least one post. The definition of attack is 'to speak or write against another'.
> Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down, and please don't jump to conclusions about others.
>
> If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please see the FAQ:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
>
> Follow-ups regarding these issues, as well as replies to the above posts, should of course themselves be civil.
>
> Dr. Bob is always free to override deputy decisions. His email is on the bottom of each page. Please feel free to email him if you believe this decision was made in error.
>
> 10derHeart, acting as deputy to Dr. Bob
>
>
>
>
>
>
Posted by sunnydays on August 13, 2007, at 18:04:05
In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again, posted by Fivefires on August 13, 2007, at 12:17:35
Never mind. My life is going downhill faster than I can say. I can't deal with this anymore right now. I'm sorry you feel I was lecturing you. Not my intention at all. And my intention in saying you're entitled to offer an idea was more to acknowledge for myself that everyone's allowed to have their own ideas even if I don't agree with them. Nothing more. I'm sorry if I've hurt or offended you. I'm just having an incredibly hard time today and I won't be replying anymore to this thread. Just not worth the stress to my mental health.
sunnydays
Posted by Fivefires on August 13, 2007, at 18:24:45
In reply to Re: I cannot post here ever again » Fivefires, posted by sunnydays on August 13, 2007, at 18:04:05
Well thank you, and I apologize as well.
I hope you're still here.
No, you know what? I thought you were very articulate and made perfect sense about privacy and you could maybe even write something up here for the site.
I guess I was taking it a little too, sort of, at me, or, well, personally. (I hate that word.) See that was supposed to be sort of funny, but, no, I'm not in the mood for laughing either. I'm having an incredibly hard day as well. I'm very depressed and Pdoc hasn't responded to 3x calling.
It's difficult w/o inflection here and I'm not sure that we've known one another very long. I joke around quite a bit.This was a very bad situation for everyone.
I hope you feel better.
5f
Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05
In reply to Re: please be civil » gardenergirl, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 18:02:25
Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist about another poster. Said it to stop the thread and hopefully calm you all down. The only person I know of is Dr. Bob who is using babble as a research tool for the University of Chicago I think. And his presentations. I have pics posted by babblers of themselves and others sent them to me or other posters sent them to me. Now put on google and write in med checker and use the internet google. Babble comes right up. Phillipa ps I've send an e-mail with my therapist's name to Dr. Bob and how to reach her. So that will clear things up as you have nothing to fear from me. I'm just trying to learn and help other people feel good about themselves as can't nurse anymore too many medical problems back and auto immune. Sorry that you all got so upset.
Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:38:54
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05
How strange this time it doesn't come up under med checker also tried vivactil as was researching so not the right name. My apologies on that but the rest of the post is true. I'm going to try a few more. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:43:19
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:38:54
Sorry I can't find it tonight can't figure out what I put into the search anyway I'm a clutch with computers. So my apologies again. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:56:59
In reply to Re: Can't find to late tonight, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:43:19
Gone can't figure out what I entered. I'm sorry. Phillipa goofed again.
Posted by mike lynch on August 15, 2007, at 1:03:03
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05
> Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the >thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist >about another poster.
Didn't Dr. Bob say something about "not posting information you know not to be true" Was that quote in doctor bobs quote yours or not? I don't understand why you apologize, then insist that you did nothing wrong?? When the quote suggests otherwise
Posted by RealMe on August 15, 2007, at 1:08:15
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05
To me it seems you are contradicting yourself from what was posted from you before to OzLand and also from what is on Dr. Bobs post. I don't understand this at all. Did you forget what you said before?
Posted by Quintal on August 15, 2007, at 2:23:01
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05
>Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist about another poster.
Phillipa, why are you saying this now? If this is true, then why did you say this at the beginning of the thread?:
>Oz I forgot to tell you my therapist does remember going to school with you although you were a year apart should make you feel good. And glad the theraphy is going well. Makes the long early ride worth it. Love Phillipa
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/775483.htmQ
Posted by Glydin on August 15, 2007, at 6:56:47
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05
> Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist about another poster.
~~~ Uh, does the information you're posting here directly conflict with previous posts after a warning about posting false info?
I'm confused.
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 15, 2007, at 7:49:11
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05
> Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist about another poster. Said it to stop the thread and hopefully calm you all down.
So did you, or did you not disclose information about another poster to your therapist? I'm confused.
>I've send an e-mail with my therapist's name to Dr. Bob and how to reach her. So that will clear things up as you have nothing to fear from me.
Did you give your therapist a release form signed by you that Dr. Bob has access to the content of your session/s? If not, then giving Dr. Bob your T's contact information is useless. They are bound by strict confidentiality. I'm not sure that this is the best way for you to allay fears. What if Dr. Bob doesn't have time or energy to figure out exactly what you did or didn't say to someone? Wouldn't it be more straightforward if you just told us the truth yourself?
>I'm just trying to learn and help other people feel good about themselves as can't nurse anymore too many medical problems back and auto immune. Sorry that you all got so upset.
Phillipa, I didn't realize that you weren't going to be going back to nursing. I thought that this was a goal of yours? I'm very sorry to hear that you've had to give up on it. I hope a day will come soon when you have a little more strength and can get out and make a new dream for yourself.
-Ll
Posted by planetzero on August 15, 2007, at 8:56:25
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05
> Well I accomplished what you wanted I stopped the thread but I never disclosed info to my therapist about another poster.
No, not accomplished, but thanks for trying. What is true or isn't - I don't think I'll ever know.
>Said it to stop the thread and hopefully calm you all down.
So what you said is false?
>The only person I know of is Dr. Bob who is using babble as a research tool for the University of Chicago I think. And his presentations.
Dr. Bob doesn't use this site for research anymore, unless you know something the rest of us don't. Again, this is false information, phillipa.
>I have pics posted by babblers of themselves and others sent them to me or other posters sent them to me.
That's nice. Do you have any info you got through a third party (another babbler) - ie not from the original sender. If you do, I would hope you would delete them.
>Now put on google and write in med checker and use the internet google. Babble comes right up.
Maybe for you, but not for me.
>Phillipa ps I've send an e-mail with my therapist's name to Dr. Bob and how to reach her.
So that will clear things up as you have nothing to fear from me.Really how? They are bound by laws of confidentiality.
>I'm just trying to learn and help other people feel good about themselves as can't nurse anymore too many medical problems back and auto immune.
That is a laudable thing to do - trying to help others, but spreading info you know to be false, or personal, or exagerrated is not helpful. You have posted contradictory information and I don't know (or will ever) what's true.
>Sorry that you all got so upset.
Me too.
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 10:14:39
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 15, 2007, at 7:49:11
No I did not disclose any info. At the time I forgot gg wasn't acting as a deputy anymore and thought I must do what she asked. Hence the post. Again I'm sorry for any fear you may have and don't know what else I can do. Any suggestions? Phillipa
Posted by Honore on August 15, 2007, at 10:58:49
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal, posted by Phillipa on August 14, 2007, at 23:25:05
Hi, Phillipa. You said in your apology. http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20070702/msgs/775820.html
"I'm very sorry for disclosing info about {xxx, named deleted by me] to an unnamed therapist."
So I think you did actually disclose information about a babbler to someone who knows the babbler IRL, but didn't know that s/he was on babble.
Also as we know and it's important to say, Dr. Bob is not and has said he is not conducting experiments on Babble. It's important because some other babblers are very comfortable about the idea that he might be. It's important not to say things that aren't true, and that disturb the feelings of safety of other babblers. I'm sure you wouldn't want to do that, so I wanted to remind you that he isn't doing any research here.
I'm repeated this in the interests of keeping things clear, because some people have said they're confused about what did and didn't happen.
Honore
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 11:21:50
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa, posted by planetzero on August 15, 2007, at 8:56:25
Well if the therapist needs a signed release form for Bob how did this worry even occurr as that would mean if I had but didn't disclose info that it couldnt be given out to others hence how could the other parties job, life etc be impacted? As for babble not being used for education no I didn't know as I don't go to admin unless I have to as I never go to politics, grief, eating, newbies, was invited to psychology by another poster but thought it was about things like CBT. Took me a while to figure out what people posted about. I can see why so many are sensitive. Again there is nothing I can do but apologize for any hurts others perceived about personal infor being given out. And no I'm in the process of grieving my life as I am too old to go back to my love nursing. Unfortunatately I have autoimmune diseases which have created other problems in my body. Nothing I can do about them in herited. And then the chronic lymes still test positive always will I think as one doc said that. Oh well. My life is about over anyway so I best keep trying. Phillipa
Posted by ClearSkies on August 15, 2007, at 11:35:06
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » planetzero, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 11:21:50
> Well if the therapist needs a signed release form for Bob how did this worry even occurr as that would mean if I had but didn't disclose info that it couldnt be given out to others hence how could the other parties job, life etc be impacted?
Sorry to jump, in, but thought I might help to clarify:
By NOT having a signed consent (also known as a "release"), you are disclosing information without having the other person's permission - and this is what is unethical.You would not have been able to get a signed consent from Dr Bob, since he is not maintaining the site for research purposes. By disclosing information about other people without their consent, written, spoken or otherwise; a breach of trust is implied. Also, a trust formed by friendship on the internet has been broken. This, to my understanding, is the crux of the problem. That
1) you did not ask for permission to pass on information about another poster to your therapist, and
2) that you posted about divulging that information here on the boards.I hope that this is clear and (gulp!) also that I am correct.
ClearSkies
Posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 11:49:41
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa, posted by ClearSkies on August 15, 2007, at 11:35:06
Clear Skies but I didn't discuss anyone with my therapist can't afford this and why? And I thought babble was for research??? I just get more confused taking a break out for the day. Love Phillipa
Posted by planetzero on August 15, 2007, at 11:56:05
In reply to Re: What can I do?, posted by Phillipa on August 12, 2007, at 0:12:53
> Ps I don't have a therapist. Phillipa never did
OK - one example -
here you say you don't have a therapist - but then again, you say you do -
which is it - yes or no?
Posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 15, 2007, at 12:07:07
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » LlurpsieNoodle, posted by Phillipa on August 15, 2007, at 10:14:39
Phillipa,
If you are confused, I recommend you look in the archives of the thread in which you posted. Read exactly what you posted, and then read everything that you've posted since then.
That's what you always suggest that I should do- look something up in the archives. Well, if you can't remember something, why not go back to your original words?
I know it's important to you that people trust you, but until these contradictions are resolved, it's hard to move forward.
-Ll
Posted by Glydin on August 15, 2007, at 14:12:00
In reply to Re: Accomplished the Goal » Phillipa, posted by LlurpsieNoodle on August 15, 2007, at 12:07:07
While the lastest dustup certainly brings up some uneasy feelings for me, I am finding myself feeling upset over a repeated guideline crossing of "knowingly posting false information".
If one posts polar opposite information, is it not rational to think AT LEAST ONE has to be false?... And knowingly posted as being false? This is turning into a question of accountiblity and consequences for me... and a question, yet again, of Adm. actions to the governing of the guidelines and why are some posters not held accountable while others are...
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