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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 226 to 250 of 536. Go back in thread:
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 20:05:26
In reply to Re: I think I understand why people don't like this... » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 19:14:50
>
> If you really can't understand how to empathise with anothers point of view and reasons then there really isn't much that I can say.
>
Now that offends me, it's a sweeping assumption and I cannot grasp how you drew that conclusion. I don't understand how without changing their minds entirely anyone would be able to show you any more clearly that they had considered the other viewpoints.
Each alternate view.. the picnic, the cozy room,that Bob gave was considered by just about everyone on this thread and then countered.
Did you need (I'm not being snide) someone to say "I see what you mean Dr. Bob but this is how I see it" "That's a good point, I don't hate you I know you mean well but..." Maybe I've been here so long that I just know people like Dinah, Fallen, and GardenerGirl, always consider the other persons viewpoint, Dinah especially will give Dr. Bob the benefit of the doubt. Fairness is not a quality exclusive to you, actually I think Dinah could teach the best of us about fairness, critical thinking and tact.
I'm terrifically insulted at having my own abilty to empathize doubted (one of my core values and that of the people on the board I know well) I personally couldn't care less about the boards either, my thinking about others, and the principle here is why I'm involved in this at all.
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 20:11:39
In reply to Re: I think I understand why people don't like this... » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 20:05:26
Dr. Bob's on board. Just not on Admin yet. And I know we would hate to have admin actions among friends.
And we are friends, right? Things blow up, but they'll get back in perspective because we all know each other well enough to know that we're all want the best.
It's easy to get frustrated and say something we might later regret. All of us, myself included.
Can we all go play on Social?
Before Dr. Bob comes and slaps hands?
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 20:16:02
In reply to Deep breaths?, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 20:11:39
Sorry. I forgot one of my technical rules. I should have made that a reply to my own post.
Gabbi, that wasn't a reply to your post. It was just a general "Cheese it. It's the cops." to all of us.
And we are all friends, and we do all know we mean well right? It just gets frustrating, that's all.
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 20:24:55
In reply to Deep breaths?, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 20:11:39
> And we are friends, right? Nope nnnnnnnnnnnnope
Yes! of course we're friends.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 1, 2005, at 20:38:14
In reply to Deep breaths?, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 20:11:39
yes we are but the rules apply to all of us friends even alex
> Dr. Bob's on board. Just not on Admin yet. And I know we would hate to have admin actions among friends.
>
> And we are friends, right? Things blow up, but they'll get back in perspective because we all know each other well enough to know that we're all want the best.
>
> It's easy to get frustrated and say something we might later regret. All of us, myself included.
>
> Can we all go play on Social?
>
> Before Dr. Bob comes and slaps hands?
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 20:45:22
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Dinah, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 1, 2005, at 20:38:14
> yes we are but the rules apply to all of us friends even alex
>
That's true, no special concessions for friends and I was offended by two of the comments made perhaps moreso than usual because they came from someone I thought knew me better than that.
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 21:06:28
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Fallen4MyT, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 20:45:22
Gabbi, I wasn't suggesting that special concessions be made for friends. I was suggesting that as friends, it was perhaps best for us to work it out ourselves before Dr. Bob gets his paddle out. That's all.
Depending on how he interprets posts, there may be more than one kiester on the line. (I trust that if that word is offensive, it'll be xxx'd out.)
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 21:07:57
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Gabbix2, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 21:06:28
It's not a word I use often.
Oh well. I should just keep my mouth shut. My efforts at peacemaking usually fall very flat. :(
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 21:28:35
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Gabbix2, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 21:06:28
> Gabbi, I wasn't suggesting that special concessions be made for friends. I was suggesting that as friends, it was perhaps best for us to work it out ourselves before Dr. Bob gets his paddle out. That's all.
OH DINAH!!!!!
Okay really it was my fault, I don't really know how I posted that not being in reference to you, when there is no other way it could be interpreted, but by the time I had gotten to Fallens post I wasn't really thinking about what you'd said, and I certainly didn't think you'd suggested making special concessions for friends.
Like I said, I think it would have been impossible for you *not* to think I was referring to you, but I wouldn't have hinted like that if I was..
I was thinking that it was brave of Fallen to do that considering that we *are* friends, but we were hurt, but you are right too.. and so now that I agree with both of you, my head is now going somewhere beside GG'sI suspect if Bob get
>
> Depending on how he interprets posts, there may be more than one kiester on the line. (I trust that if that word is offensive, it'll be xxx'd out.)
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 21:36:03
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Dinah, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 21:28:35
I wasn't offended Gabbi. As if you could offend me...
I just didn't want anyone to think I was acting in a deputorial capacity and letting something slide. I wasn't. I never act deputorially when Dr. Bob's on board. It would violate the basic deputy principles.
Do you ever watch his moderating dance? It looks like a stately minuet tonight. And it appears that Admin may be the last curtsy. Is it always, do you know? Or just when he wants to avoid something?
We must really make him want to tear his hair out too, sometimes. :)
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 1, 2005, at 22:23:14
In reply to Please be civil ALEX » alexandra_k, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 1, 2005, at 19:44:53
I SHOULD REWORD THIS
I should have said .."I am offended by that statement" and also the "You keep trying to change our" should have been **other viewpoints have been pointed out clearly, just because we disagree does not mean we can't understand them**. Sorry these I statements just get past me> Some of us have said we wish to agree to disagree with you and yet you say we **would rather be upset than try to understand*** that statement is something I find offensive as I have said a number of times we do not agree lets agree to disagree and you keep trying to change our minds ...what makes you think we do NOT understand? Because we disagree? There is no other reason it could be than that. Have you noticed we have read what you said and did not say you choose to stay this or that? That insulted me and a few others I heard from in email.
> >
> > I give up.
> > People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.
> >
> > Good luck to you all.
>
>
Posted by gardenergirl on February 1, 2005, at 23:01:32
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Dinah, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 21:28:35
> I was thinking that it was brave of Fallen to do that considering that we *are* friends, but we were hurt, but you are right too.. and so now that I agree with both of you, my head is now going somewhere beside GG's??? Is that your head next to me on the pillow? My hubby is out of town, so you are welcome to pull up a pillow and join me here, wherever my head is.
:)
gg
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:06:28
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Gabbix2, posted by gardenergirl on February 1, 2005, at 23:01:32
Oh, that sounds so nice right now! Thank you
Posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 23:36:15
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » gardenergirl, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:06:28
I would like it to be noted that my last response was addressed to fallen and not to anybody else.
I apologise if anyone felt insulted / hurt / upset by anything I have said. That was not my intention.
If you want to discuss me in emails then that is fine. But please don't inform me of that fact.
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:43:51
In reply to Re: Deep breaths..., posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 23:36:15
It was adressed to Fallen but you referred to people, not one person, or even a few people,
the last line especially sounded like a concensus.
>But some people don't seem to be able to see them from another angle. Not even for a moment.
>If you really can't understand how to empathise with anothers point of view and reasons then there really isn't much that I can say.
>People would rather be upset about this then try to understand
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 0:47:01
In reply to Re: Deep breaths... » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:43:51
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 1:00:57
In reply to Re: Deep breaths... » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:43:51
In Logic 'Some' means 'one or more'.
You can replace 'one' or 'you' with 'some'.
But you can't get from 'some' to any one individual in particular.I thought it was more civil to say 'some' than 'you'. In fact 'some' does not even entail 'you'. Kind of an immunity from civility warning thing to do I suppose. Accusing 'someone' but 'noone in particular'.
Oh dear, I really am messed up...
I should have been more careful with my phrasing. I should have been clearer with what I was trying to say. I did not mean to hurt or offend you fallen.I did not mean to hurt or offend anyone.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:24:46
In reply to Re: Deep breaths..., posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 1:00:57
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:35:24
In reply to apology alex to me or just gab?? or all?? (nm), posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:24:46
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 2:02:03
In reply to i got lost thats why i ask no hidden meanings (nm), posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:35:24
Oh fallen, I think I am getting a little lost myself...
I apologise to you especially (because I did direct that your way)
I apologise to Gabbi, Dinah, and everyone who may have been offended.I have just spent quite a bit of time reading todays contribution to the thread... Trying to figre where I went wrong and why.
I am well intentioned. Please believe that.
I stand by what I said.
But I don't feel mad. I feel sad.
I do appreciate that I write in a way that is hard to understand. And my thoughts aren't too clear a lot of the time. And sometimes I can be very very wrong but can't see it. Can't understand why or how...But Dinah is right... Lets go play over on social.
After having read that thread I am not sure why I addressed that post to you.
I think itallics would really help convey the tone of a post. Capitals tend to convey anger and frustration...
I would like to say I'll leave things here.
But tomorrow is another day, eh?No harm done?
Posted by Dinah on February 2, 2005, at 2:11:02
In reply to Re: i got lost thats why i ask no hidden meanings » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 2:02:03
Though I appreciate the thought.
I understood all along.
It's hard to both hate discord and feel passionately about things, isn't it? I know it is for me.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 2:12:08
In reply to Re: i got lost thats why i ask no hidden meanings » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 2:02:03
Lol who wouldn't get lost in all this. WE JUST disagree is all...and we shall stay that way is my best guess and ya know..that is O.K..We will still disagree tomorrow lol :) but I hope we post to Dr Bob and not to one another on this as I feel WE ALL said how we feel and what we think very clearly and just don't agree..I do agree on social I did start a thread there and soon I am off to bed..its 3 a.m here :) don't go there hahaha 9 your time is my guess heheheheh oops I did it.....
> Oh fallen, I think I am getting a little lost myself...
>
> I apologise to you especially (because I did direct that your way)
> I apologise to Gabbi, Dinah, and everyone who may have been offended.
>
> I have just spent quite a bit of time reading todays contribution to the thread... Trying to figre where I went wrong and why.
>
> I am well intentioned. Please believe that.
>
> I stand by what I said.
>
> But I don't feel mad. I feel sad.
> I do appreciate that I write in a way that is hard to understand. And my thoughts aren't too clear a lot of the time. And sometimes I can be very very wrong but can't see it. Can't understand why or how...
>
> But Dinah is right... Lets go play over on social.
>
> After having read that thread I am not sure why I addressed that post to you.
>
> I think itallics would really help convey the tone of a post. Capitals tend to convey anger and frustration...
>
> I would like to say I'll leave things here.
> But tomorrow is another day, eh?
>
> No harm done?
>
>
>
Posted by rainbowbrite on February 2, 2005, at 3:11:07
In reply to Re: i got lost thats why i ask no hidden meanings » alexandra_k, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 2:12:08
I may have no clue what im talking about so i apoligize for any repetitive comments etc, but I personnaly thisnk the addition of new baords is going to be a complete waste of time. Has anyone peaked in newbies? it seems like NOone is really there and no oones stays. i din't kno wto start there but if i had i would't have hung around as long as i have. And another small board students; with an active population of maybe 4. and im sure a few other boards in here are like that. So my point is why are we bringing the possibility of more static boards when the baords that seem to be used and enjoyed the most are thriving on thir OWN. I personally find there are alot of boards as it is! I don't want to need to follow a map around here :(
Posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
In reply to Adding 2 cents Dr Bob, posted by rainbowbrite on February 2, 2005, at 3:11:07
> Restrictions are a not very nice way of being private, because they're not private.
>
> DinahThe goal isn't privacy, the goal is coziness.
--
> if they want to put on their housecoat and slippers, and bring their two best friends, and park themselves in the middle of my living room and carry on a private conversation at my cocktail party then they can just help themselves to the almond cookies and special kool-aid punch I have on hand for just such boors.
>
> Gabbix2What if they weren't in the middle of your living room, but upstairs? Or in the garage?
--
> all I know is I would gladly share my seat and fit 100 of the current users on the bus even if we had to sit on each others laps..
And if there were 1000?
> I see Babble as US the collective group of posters I have come to love and not :) I don't want any of them to be shut out of where and with whom they want to be.
>
> Fallen4MyTWhere, maybe, but not with whom. There would still be the current open boards, Open, and babblemail...
--
> If you really can't understand how to empathise with anothers point of view and reasons then there really isn't much that I can say.
>
> People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.Sorry, but please be sensitive to the feelings of others and don't post anything that could lead them to feel accused or put down, thanks.
> some people are determined that *it really is a rabbit*
>
> alexandra_kTry not to see them as unable to empathize or wanting to be upset. Maybe they hate rabbits and, since the picture is ambiguous, they don't want to take any chances? As Gabbix said:
> > Those of us who travel the psych circuit have been shut out from enough rooms, enough private conversations
--
> One thing I would like to add is that Dr. Bob may have better luck determining where improvements can be made to the forum, if needed, by surveying posters and then presenting the results of the survey for discussion. It would be one way to find out what works and what doesn't work and what keeps people here and what drives them away.
>
> I personally think there is a wonderful dynamic here at Babble, and nothing should be done to inadvertently disrupt that dynamic.
>
> TamaraI hate to rock the boat, too, but a survey wouldn't count those who've been driven away...
--
> why are we bringing the possibility of more static boards when the baords that seem to be used and enjoyed the most are thriving on thir OWN.
>
> rainbowbriteIf more were thriving, wouldn't that be even better? Maybe some are less active now because their topics aren't relevant to many posters?
Bob
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 4:54:42
In reply to Re: is it a rabbit?, posted by Dr. Bob on February 2, 2005, at 4:06:23
> Try not to see them as unable to empathize or wanting to be upset. Maybe they hate rabbits and, since the picture is ambiguous, they don't want to take any chances? As Gabbix said:
> > > Those of us who travel the psych circuit have been shut out from enough rooms, enough private conversationsThanks, I needed another way to see that...
And thanks for being gentle with the PBC :-)
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