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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 221 to 245 of 536. Go back in thread:
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 19:33:57
In reply to Re: I think I understand why people don't like this... » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 19:14:50
You sound frustrated and angry, Alexandra. I'm sorry.
I feel the same way about Dr. Bob, so I empathize.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 1, 2005, at 19:38:16
In reply to Re: I think I understand why people don't like this... » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 19:14:50
I personally DO understand ALL the points and read all your posts on here...they are well said HOWEVER I still do not agree....its NOT that I do NOT understand it ...it is that I do not AGREE and with that...I guess, I find what you call persistance is what feels like you are trying to change our minds.."our" being those of us who keep repeating ourselves to get across that we do not agree...**not see..but agree**....at least thats my view...Dr Bob could make a fun board called the T lovers gated community and I still would NOT join NOT because I do not SEE ALL SIDES...but because having SEEN them I still find it appauling. Frankly we have all said more about this than Bob.
> I never did intend to try to *make* people change their minds on whether they wanted small boards or not.
>
> With respect to that I am happy to agree to disagree. Though that isn't even the point *because I don't care one way or the other*.
>
> But I was being persistent in trying to show people that there are different ways that we can view them.
>
> But some people don't seem to be able to see them from another angle. Not even for a moment. Being able to see them from another angle doesn't oblige you to change your mind on whether you want small boards or not. It doesn't require one to give up ones basic morals. But some people are determined that *it really is a rabbit* and that is the end of the story.
>
> If you really can't understand how to empathise with anothers point of view and reasons then there really isn't much that I can say.
>
> I give up.
> People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.
>
> Good luck to you all.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 1, 2005, at 19:44:53
In reply to Re: I think I understand why people don't like this... » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 19:14:50
Some of us have said we wish to agree to disagree with you and yet you say we **would rather be upset than try to understand*** that statement is something I find offensive as I have said a number of times we do not agree lets agree to disagree and you keep trying to change our minds ...what makes you think we do NOT understand? Because we disagree? There is no other reason it could be than that. Have you noticed we have read what you said and did not say you choose to stay this or that? That insulted me and a few others I heard from in email.
>
> I give up.
> People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.
>
> Good luck to you all.
Posted by jujube on February 1, 2005, at 19:46:49
In reply to Re: I think I understand why people don't like this... » gardenergirl, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 18:22:54
I guess what I am having trouble with is seeing how this is going to help new board members integrate and become more active more quickly as well as seeing how it will enhance the activities of the board for all members.
First, people come to the board for very a variety of individual reasons. For some it is about joining a community where they will find support, friendship and knowledge on a longer-term basis. For others, it is only about getting answers to some questions, after which they no longer have a need for the board. There will always be a transient nature to these types of forums, and no matter how much effort is put into making the forum more appealing to newbies, some will not stay. It is not aways about feeling left out, ignored or insecure. If that were the case, then some of you participating in this thread would probably not be here to have this debate (I say that based on personal admissions in this particular thread of, at times, feeling like "thread killers", not to be disparaging in any way).
I have seen some newbies jump right in and participate in threads on a number of boards. Others take their time and may remain in their comfort zone on a particular board until, perhaps, they feel less inhibited and more confident about joining threads and broadening their horizons to other boards. What it boils down to is human nature. Some people are gregarious and will have no inhibitions about joining a conversation and voicing an opinion. Others are shy and need time to begin to know others and to become comfortable with a new environment through observation rather than participation. And, some are in between the two.
The point I am trying to make, is that it may be likely that no amount of special accommodation will make transient posters stay or facilitate more active participation by the some posters.
One thing I would like to add is that Dr. Bob may have better luck determining where improvements can be made to the forum, if needed, by surveying posters and then presenting the results of the survey for discussion. It would be one way to find out what works and what doesn't work and what keeps people here and what drives them away.
I personally think there is a wonderful dynamic here at Babble, and nothing should be done to inadvertently disrupt that dynamic.
Tamara
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 19:48:44
In reply to Re: I think I understand why people don't like this... » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 19:14:50
I really am sorry. I tend to get involved in these tussles with Dr. Bob over things I feel passionately about and unintentionally inflict some collateral damage.
For any collateral damage I have unintentionally caused you, I apologize.
Want to come play on Social?
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 20:05:26
In reply to Re: I think I understand why people don't like this... » Fallen4MyT, posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 19:14:50
>
> If you really can't understand how to empathise with anothers point of view and reasons then there really isn't much that I can say.
>
Now that offends me, it's a sweeping assumption and I cannot grasp how you drew that conclusion. I don't understand how without changing their minds entirely anyone would be able to show you any more clearly that they had considered the other viewpoints.
Each alternate view.. the picnic, the cozy room,that Bob gave was considered by just about everyone on this thread and then countered.
Did you need (I'm not being snide) someone to say "I see what you mean Dr. Bob but this is how I see it" "That's a good point, I don't hate you I know you mean well but..." Maybe I've been here so long that I just know people like Dinah, Fallen, and GardenerGirl, always consider the other persons viewpoint, Dinah especially will give Dr. Bob the benefit of the doubt. Fairness is not a quality exclusive to you, actually I think Dinah could teach the best of us about fairness, critical thinking and tact.
I'm terrifically insulted at having my own abilty to empathize doubted (one of my core values and that of the people on the board I know well) I personally couldn't care less about the boards either, my thinking about others, and the principle here is why I'm involved in this at all.
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 20:11:39
In reply to Re: I think I understand why people don't like this... » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 20:05:26
Dr. Bob's on board. Just not on Admin yet. And I know we would hate to have admin actions among friends.
And we are friends, right? Things blow up, but they'll get back in perspective because we all know each other well enough to know that we're all want the best.
It's easy to get frustrated and say something we might later regret. All of us, myself included.
Can we all go play on Social?
Before Dr. Bob comes and slaps hands?
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 20:16:02
In reply to Deep breaths?, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 20:11:39
Sorry. I forgot one of my technical rules. I should have made that a reply to my own post.
Gabbi, that wasn't a reply to your post. It was just a general "Cheese it. It's the cops." to all of us.
And we are all friends, and we do all know we mean well right? It just gets frustrating, that's all.
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 20:24:55
In reply to Deep breaths?, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 20:11:39
> And we are friends, right? Nope nnnnnnnnnnnnope
Yes! of course we're friends.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 1, 2005, at 20:38:14
In reply to Deep breaths?, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 20:11:39
yes we are but the rules apply to all of us friends even alex
> Dr. Bob's on board. Just not on Admin yet. And I know we would hate to have admin actions among friends.
>
> And we are friends, right? Things blow up, but they'll get back in perspective because we all know each other well enough to know that we're all want the best.
>
> It's easy to get frustrated and say something we might later regret. All of us, myself included.
>
> Can we all go play on Social?
>
> Before Dr. Bob comes and slaps hands?
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 20:45:22
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Dinah, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 1, 2005, at 20:38:14
> yes we are but the rules apply to all of us friends even alex
>
That's true, no special concessions for friends and I was offended by two of the comments made perhaps moreso than usual because they came from someone I thought knew me better than that.
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 21:06:28
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Fallen4MyT, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 20:45:22
Gabbi, I wasn't suggesting that special concessions be made for friends. I was suggesting that as friends, it was perhaps best for us to work it out ourselves before Dr. Bob gets his paddle out. That's all.
Depending on how he interprets posts, there may be more than one kiester on the line. (I trust that if that word is offensive, it'll be xxx'd out.)
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 21:07:57
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Gabbix2, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 21:06:28
It's not a word I use often.
Oh well. I should just keep my mouth shut. My efforts at peacemaking usually fall very flat. :(
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 21:28:35
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Gabbix2, posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 21:06:28
> Gabbi, I wasn't suggesting that special concessions be made for friends. I was suggesting that as friends, it was perhaps best for us to work it out ourselves before Dr. Bob gets his paddle out. That's all.
OH DINAH!!!!!
Okay really it was my fault, I don't really know how I posted that not being in reference to you, when there is no other way it could be interpreted, but by the time I had gotten to Fallens post I wasn't really thinking about what you'd said, and I certainly didn't think you'd suggested making special concessions for friends.
Like I said, I think it would have been impossible for you *not* to think I was referring to you, but I wouldn't have hinted like that if I was..
I was thinking that it was brave of Fallen to do that considering that we *are* friends, but we were hurt, but you are right too.. and so now that I agree with both of you, my head is now going somewhere beside GG'sI suspect if Bob get
>
> Depending on how he interprets posts, there may be more than one kiester on the line. (I trust that if that word is offensive, it'll be xxx'd out.)
Posted by Dinah on February 1, 2005, at 21:36:03
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Dinah, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 21:28:35
I wasn't offended Gabbi. As if you could offend me...
I just didn't want anyone to think I was acting in a deputorial capacity and letting something slide. I wasn't. I never act deputorially when Dr. Bob's on board. It would violate the basic deputy principles.
Do you ever watch his moderating dance? It looks like a stately minuet tonight. And it appears that Admin may be the last curtsy. Is it always, do you know? Or just when he wants to avoid something?
We must really make him want to tear his hair out too, sometimes. :)
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 1, 2005, at 22:23:14
In reply to Please be civil ALEX » alexandra_k, posted by Fallen4MyT on February 1, 2005, at 19:44:53
I SHOULD REWORD THIS
I should have said .."I am offended by that statement" and also the "You keep trying to change our" should have been **other viewpoints have been pointed out clearly, just because we disagree does not mean we can't understand them**. Sorry these I statements just get past me> Some of us have said we wish to agree to disagree with you and yet you say we **would rather be upset than try to understand*** that statement is something I find offensive as I have said a number of times we do not agree lets agree to disagree and you keep trying to change our minds ...what makes you think we do NOT understand? Because we disagree? There is no other reason it could be than that. Have you noticed we have read what you said and did not say you choose to stay this or that? That insulted me and a few others I heard from in email.
> >
> > I give up.
> > People would rather be upset about this then try to understand.
> >
> > Good luck to you all.
>
>
Posted by gardenergirl on February 1, 2005, at 23:01:32
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Dinah, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 21:28:35
> I was thinking that it was brave of Fallen to do that considering that we *are* friends, but we were hurt, but you are right too.. and so now that I agree with both of you, my head is now going somewhere beside GG's??? Is that your head next to me on the pillow? My hubby is out of town, so you are welcome to pull up a pillow and join me here, wherever my head is.
:)
gg
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:06:28
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » Gabbix2, posted by gardenergirl on February 1, 2005, at 23:01:32
Oh, that sounds so nice right now! Thank you
Posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 23:36:15
In reply to Re: Deep breaths? » gardenergirl, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:06:28
I would like it to be noted that my last response was addressed to fallen and not to anybody else.
I apologise if anyone felt insulted / hurt / upset by anything I have said. That was not my intention.
If you want to discuss me in emails then that is fine. But please don't inform me of that fact.
Posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:43:51
In reply to Re: Deep breaths..., posted by alexandra_k on February 1, 2005, at 23:36:15
It was adressed to Fallen but you referred to people, not one person, or even a few people,
the last line especially sounded like a concensus.
>But some people don't seem to be able to see them from another angle. Not even for a moment.
>If you really can't understand how to empathise with anothers point of view and reasons then there really isn't much that I can say.
>People would rather be upset about this then try to understand
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 0:47:01
In reply to Re: Deep breaths... » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:43:51
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 1:00:57
In reply to Re: Deep breaths... » alexandra_k, posted by Gabbix2 on February 1, 2005, at 23:43:51
In Logic 'Some' means 'one or more'.
You can replace 'one' or 'you' with 'some'.
But you can't get from 'some' to any one individual in particular.I thought it was more civil to say 'some' than 'you'. In fact 'some' does not even entail 'you'. Kind of an immunity from civility warning thing to do I suppose. Accusing 'someone' but 'noone in particular'.
Oh dear, I really am messed up...
I should have been more careful with my phrasing. I should have been clearer with what I was trying to say. I did not mean to hurt or offend you fallen.I did not mean to hurt or offend anyone.
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:24:46
In reply to Re: Deep breaths..., posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 1:00:57
Posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:35:24
In reply to apology alex to me or just gab?? or all?? (nm), posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:24:46
Posted by alexandra_k on February 2, 2005, at 2:02:03
In reply to i got lost thats why i ask no hidden meanings (nm), posted by Fallen4MyT on February 2, 2005, at 1:35:24
Oh fallen, I think I am getting a little lost myself...
I apologise to you especially (because I did direct that your way)
I apologise to Gabbi, Dinah, and everyone who may have been offended.I have just spent quite a bit of time reading todays contribution to the thread... Trying to figre where I went wrong and why.
I am well intentioned. Please believe that.
I stand by what I said.
But I don't feel mad. I feel sad.
I do appreciate that I write in a way that is hard to understand. And my thoughts aren't too clear a lot of the time. And sometimes I can be very very wrong but can't see it. Can't understand why or how...But Dinah is right... Lets go play over on social.
After having read that thread I am not sure why I addressed that post to you.
I think itallics would really help convey the tone of a post. Capitals tend to convey anger and frustration...
I would like to say I'll leave things here.
But tomorrow is another day, eh?No harm done?
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