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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by Tweek on June 10, 2004, at 11:59:14
In reply to RE: please be civil » Tweek, posted by Dr. Bob on June 9, 2004, at 20:51:34
Sorry about that! I'll be more careful next time!
Posted by joslynn on June 10, 2004, at 14:35:25
In reply to Lexapro Wearing off after a year?, posted by MoTucker on June 9, 2004, at 11:36:12
I am on Lex, and barely ever think about sex as I used to, but I don't care much about that because I am single.
It is definitely less of a desire since going on ADs. It just doesn't enter my mind much anymore.
Posted by MoTucker on June 10, 2004, at 14:56:28
In reply to Re: Lexapro Wearing off after a year?, posted by joslynn on June 10, 2004, at 14:35:25
I hear you. It's like I could take it or leave it. If single I'd be more than fine.
I guess Lex has *less* sexual side-effects... but definitely not *none*. I wonder if its certain medicines that are more likely to cause the effects, or if it is certain people who are more prone experience sexual side-effects regardless of the medicine.
In my relationship the Lex makes it so I don't miss the sex, but I miss the intimacy still. I just don't feel connected to him in exactly the same way when we haven't had sex in weeks. So I have to force myself to get into it so I can have that closeness... I don't like it... but I don't see a way around it, either.
M.T.
> I am on Lex, and barely ever think about sex as I used to, but I don't care much about that because I am single.
>
> It is definitely less of a desire since going on ADs. It just doesn't enter my mind much anymore.
Posted by LynneDa on June 10, 2004, at 15:01:54
In reply to Re: Lexapro Wearing off after a year?, posted by MoTucker on June 10, 2004, at 14:56:28
M.T. & others -
I know this is getting a bit personal, but for me I just need a lot more foreplay. That helped and also created more intimacy (which of course we like almost as much as the actual act!). It was hard to talk about it at first and to get him to be okay with it . . . but it eventually worked!
Good luck!~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
I hear you. It's like I could take it or leave it. If single I'd be more than fine.
>
> I guess Lex has *less* sexual side-effects... but definitely not *none*. I wonder if its certain medicines that are more likely to cause the effects, or if it is certain people who are more prone experience sexual side-effects regardless of the medicine.
>
> In my relationship the Lex makes it so I don't miss the sex, but I miss the intimacy still. I just don't feel connected to him in exactly the same way when we haven't had sex in weeks. So I have to force myself to get into it so I can have that closeness... I don't like it... but I don't see a way around it, either.
>
> M.T.
>
>
Posted by mystic on June 11, 2004, at 8:57:42
In reply to Re: New to Lexapro and feeling awful » jjana, posted by worrywort on May 13, 2003, at 12:43:06
Tweek..how goes the battle...are you on 5mgs is that working ok for you..just checking in..Mystic
Posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 9:32:23
In reply to Re: New Lex user, posted by Mrs. C on June 5, 2004, at 18:55:43
Hi all im a new lex user,
i have been little down for a few months now and went to the dr and was told i have mild anxiety and mild depression, i took my first LEX tablet this afternoon 10mg and i have to say it took alot, i didn't want too, i almost had to force it down. sighWithin an hour or so of taking it, i felt funny, tired but unable to sleep, and alittle spaced out and TENSE, i had only slept a couple of hours the night before so i know that didn't help, so i tried to lay down and i feel asleep for about 40 minutes and when i woke i was in a major panic, i jumped out of bed and turned the light and felt horrible and took me almost 2 hours to calm down, the whole time ive felt my heart pumping ,racing, im sure you know the sensation im talking about, i felt like i was going mad!
Its now night time here and im too scared to go to sleep, im not tired yet anyway, but i don't want to feel that again, i don't think I'll take it anymore if its going to make me like this, can you guys offer any help or something :(
Posted by LynneDa on June 11, 2004, at 9:46:31
In reply to Re: New Lex user, posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 9:32:23
Hi Nicko and welcome!
What you are feeling is pretty normal!! It may take a couple of weeks for your brain and body to sort everything out. You're experiencing the "tired but wired" syndrome and the weird panic attacks that are only your brain trying to adjust.One suggestion is to take something to help you sleep at night - an antihistamine or Tylenol PM, melatonin, stuff like that. A good night's sleep definitely helps! If the anxiety/panic attacks are too rough, see if your doctor will prescribe something mild just to get you through the initial side effects. If you don't want to take another med, there are herbal remedies that might help you relax right now. You can find those on the babble alternative site. I used to use this lavender/vanilla spray I found at Bath & Body and it relaxed me a bit. I also used to smell this essential oil with roses in it called "Joy" and that also helped me focus and relax. Get a massage, take a warm bath, exercise - whatever you have to do that can help you calm down and focus on anything but those anxious feelings! Do you have someone in your home who knows what you are going through? Talk to them about it too.
I know you feel like quitting . . . we all did! But if you can get through this week and next, I promise you will start feeling better! If your symptoms are too severe, maybe cut down to 5mg for a few weeks then go up to 10mg. Talk to your doctor and see what ideas he/she has for you.
By the way, where are you that it is night? (It's 9:30 in the morning where I am!).
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Hi all im a new lex user,
> i have been little down for a few months now and went to the dr and was told i have mild anxiety and mild depression, i took my first LEX tablet this afternoon 10mg and i have to say it took alot, i didn't want too, i almost had to force it down. sigh
>
> Within an hour or so of taking it, i felt funny, tired but unable to sleep, and alittle spaced out and TENSE, i had only slept a couple of hours the night before so i know that didn't help, so i tried to lay down and i feel asleep for about 40 minutes and when i woke i was in a major panic, i jumped out of bed and turned the light and felt horrible and took me almost 2 hours to calm down, the whole time ive felt my heart pumping ,racing, im sure you know the sensation im talking about, i felt like i was going mad!
>
> Its now night time here and im too scared to go to sleep, im not tired yet anyway, but i don't want to feel that again, i don't think I'll take it anymore if its going to make me like this, can you guys offer any help or something :(
Posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 9:53:01
In reply to Re: New Lex user » nicko, posted by LynneDa on June 11, 2004, at 9:46:31
Ty for the welome lynne, im feeling pretty crap right now, depressed and anxious, it nearly 1am here, in Aussie land, the dr gave me some mild sedatives as i was told its sometimes hard to sleep for the first few days, but im freaked to take them too
> Hi Nicko and welcome!
> What you are feeling is pretty normal!! It may take a couple of weeks for your brain and body to sort everything out. You're experiencing the "tired but wired" syndrome and the weird panic attacks that are only your brain trying to adjust.
>
> One suggestion is to take something to help you sleep at night - an antihistamine or Tylenol PM, melatonin, stuff like that. A good night's sleep definitely helps! If the anxiety/panic attacks are too rough, see if your doctor will prescribe something mild just to get you through the initial side effects. If you don't want to take another med, there are herbal remedies that might help you relax right now. You can find those on the babble alternative site. I used to use this lavender/vanilla spray I found at Bath & Body and it relaxed me a bit. I also used to smell this essential oil with roses in it called "Joy" and that also helped me focus and relax. Get a massage, take a warm bath, exercise - whatever you have to do that can help you calm down and focus on anything but those anxious feelings! Do you have someone in your home who knows what you are going through? Talk to them about it too.
>
> I know you feel like quitting . . . we all did! But if you can get through this week and next, I promise you will start feeling better! If your symptoms are too severe, maybe cut down to 5mg for a few weeks then go up to 10mg. Talk to your doctor and see what ideas he/she has for you.
>
> By the way, where are you that it is night? (It's 9:30 in the morning where I am!).
> ~ Lynne
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>
>
>
> Hi all im a new lex user,
> > i have been little down for a few months now and went to the dr and was told i have mild anxiety and mild depression, i took my first LEX tablet this afternoon 10mg and i have to say it took alot, i didn't want too, i almost had to force it down. sigh
> >
> > Within an hour or so of taking it, i felt funny, tired but unable to sleep, and alittle spaced out and TENSE, i had only slept a couple of hours the night before so i know that didn't help, so i tried to lay down and i feel asleep for about 40 minutes and when i woke i was in a major panic, i jumped out of bed and turned the light and felt horrible and took me almost 2 hours to calm down, the whole time ive felt my heart pumping ,racing, im sure you know the sensation im talking about, i felt like i was going mad!
> >
> > Its now night time here and im too scared to go to sleep, im not tired yet anyway, but i don't want to feel that again, i don't think I'll take it anymore if its going to make me like this, can you guys offer any help or something :(
>
>
Posted by mystic on June 11, 2004, at 9:58:40
In reply to Re: New Lex user, posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 9:53:01
Nicko..You have come to the right place...everyone in here is here to help you and that is what you will get help..support..acceptance..knowledge.and so much more...
I have been on lex for about 15 weeks and at first you do get anxious and feel like you are jumping out of your skin..I'm very very med phobic so took me about 2 months to take that first pill so you are doing good...You can also take Xanax or something like that even though I'm med phobic I did take that for the first couple of weeks to counter act the anxiousness..My dr wanted me to take it longer as to not suffer but too stubborn...
Just keep posting and know that there is always somewhere there for you..take care and hope today is a better day for you!!!!!!!!!!!!....mystic
Posted by LynneDa on June 11, 2004, at 10:06:22
In reply to Re: New Lex user, posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 9:53:01
I understand. I can promise you sleep is the best remedy right now. If you are fearful of taking meds, you probably are not the type to get addicted to them! I took Ambien for 7 days then got off of them cuz I liked them too much! But, they did break my insomnia cycle. Maybe just cut the sedative in half? You have to do something for yourself so you can get through this. You can do it!!! It'll be okay. Just try it one night. If it doesn't work, then go on to something else!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Ty for the welome lynne, im feeling pretty crap right now, depressed and anxious, it nearly 1am here, in Aussie land, the dr gave me some mild sedatives as i was told its sometimes hard to sleep for the first few days, but im freaked to take them too
Posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 10:13:08
In reply to Re: New Lex user » nicko, posted by LynneDa on June 11, 2004, at 10:06:22
Thanks Lynne and mystic, it means alot to me right now! It just sucks that i was basically ok before i started this and now everything is so much worse, i don't get that, it doesnt make sense to me.
i think will take a sedative cause im sick of thinking, ive had enough for one day
> I understand. I can promise you sleep is the best remedy right now. If you are fearful of taking meds, you probably are not the type to get addicted to them! I took Ambien for 7 days then got off of them cuz I liked them too much! But, they did break my insomnia cycle. Maybe just cut the sedative in half? You have to do something for yourself so you can get through this. You can do it!!! It'll be okay. Just try it one night. If it doesn't work, then go on to something else!
> ~ Lynne
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>
>
> Ty for the welome lynne, im feeling pretty crap right now, depressed and anxious, it nearly 1am here, in Aussie land, the dr gave me some mild sedatives as i was told its sometimes hard to sleep for the first few days, but im freaked to take them too
>
>
Posted by h on June 11, 2004, at 10:14:40
In reply to Re: New Lex user, posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 9:32:23
> Hi all im a new lex user,
> i have been little down for a few months now and went to the dr and was told i have mild anxiety and mild depression, i took my first LEX tablet this afternoon 10mg and i have to say it took alot, i didn't want too, i almost had to force it down. sigh
>
> Within an hour or so of taking it, i felt funny, tired but unable to sleep, and alittle spaced out and TENSE, i had only slept a couple of hours the night before so i know that didn't help, so i tried to lay down and i feel asleep for about 40 minutes and when i woke i was in a major panic, i jumped out of bed and turned the light and felt horrible and took me almost 2 hours to calm down, the whole time ive felt my heart pumping ,racing, im sure you know the sensation im talking about, i felt like i was going mad!
>
> Its now night time here and im too scared to go to sleep, im not tired yet anyway, but i don't want to feel that again, i don't think I'll take it anymore if its going to make me like this, can you guys offer any help or something :(
Hey there! I'm new too. I felt like I was getting poisoned when I started a few weeks ago on my first 10 mg dose. I called my dr and said I can't take this stuff, it's making me sleepy and nauseous and sick. He suggested I cut the pills in half. I did better than that: I cut them in quarters and took just those (2.5 mg) for the first week. Then up to a half. Then 3/4. Now I'm at a whole and it does make a difference. I would talk to your dr about trying that. After all, if the point is to stay on the med, it's better to ramp up slowly. Best to you! h
Posted by LynneDa on June 11, 2004, at 10:16:50
In reply to Re: New Lex user, posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 10:13:08
Good luck Nicko, let us know how you're doing tomorrow!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Thanks Lynne and mystic, it means alot to me right now! It just sucks that i was basically ok before i started this and now everything is so much worse, i don't get that, it doesnt make sense to me.
> i think will take a sedative cause im sick of thinking, ive had enough for one day
>
>
Posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 10:33:14
In reply to Re: New Lex user, posted by h on June 11, 2004, at 10:14:40
How did that go? did you feel much better doing it that way? oh yeah im still awake lol, did it make a huge difference? i cant see or speak to my dr till tuesday, i need to try something or i will just go off them.
>
> Hey there! I'm new too. I felt like I was getting poisoned when I started a few weeks ago on my first 10 mg dose. I called my dr and said I can't take this stuff, it's making me sleepy and nauseous and sick. He suggested I cut the pills in half. I did better than that: I cut them in quarters and took just those (2.5 mg) for the first week. Then up to a half. Then 3/4. Now I'm at a whole and it does make a difference. I would talk to your dr about trying that. After all, if the point is to stay on the med, it's better to ramp up slowly. Best to you! h
>
>
Posted by Tweek on June 11, 2004, at 10:48:22
In reply to Re: New Lex user, posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 9:32:23
I know exactly how you feel! I started at 10 mg and went through the exact same thing. Cut it in half, then decided to stop taking it until I saw my gp this past Monday. I'm started taking it again, and am at 5 mg now, day 3. Still having trouble with it, but it's much easier to deal with than the 10 mg! The morning anxiety is enough to make me want to quit taking it, especially since I'm still having trouble accepting the medication, but I'm gonna try to stay on at least a couple more weeks! I have a bottle of clonazepam (klonopin), have been trying to avoid taking it, even though I should probably take it for a little while. But if I can get through this, then anyone can! :)
> Hi all im a new lex user,
> i have been little down for a few months now and went to the dr and was told i have mild anxiety and mild depression, i took my first LEX tablet this afternoon 10mg and i have to say it took alot, i didn't want too, i almost had to force it down. sigh
>
> Within an hour or so of taking it, i felt funny, tired but unable to sleep, and alittle spaced out and TENSE, i had only slept a couple of hours the night before so i know that didn't help, so i tried to lay down and i feel asleep for about 40 minutes and when i woke i was in a major panic, i jumped out of bed and turned the light and felt horrible and took me almost 2 hours to calm down, the whole time ive felt my heart pumping ,racing, im sure you know the sensation im talking about, i felt like i was going mad!
>
> Its now night time here and im too scared to go to sleep, im not tired yet anyway, but i don't want to feel that again, i don't think I'll take it anymore if its going to make me like this, can you guys offer any help or something :(
Posted by Tweek on June 11, 2004, at 10:58:07
In reply to RE::: Tweek, posted by mystic on June 11, 2004, at 8:57:42
The 5 mg is easier w/ side effects than when I started the 10 mg, but still having bad morning anxiety. It's really almost unbearable, but I'm not comfortable taking a sedative in the morning before I drive to work. I wake up about 2 hours before my alarm goes off all panicky, worrying about everything, and if and when I drift back off to sleep, it's not restful at all. I hope this stops soon...
> Tweek..how goes the battle...are you on 5mgs is that working ok for you..just checking in..Mystic
Posted by LynneDa on June 11, 2004, at 11:02:50
In reply to RE::: Tweek » mystic, posted by Tweek on June 11, 2004, at 10:58:07
Hi Tweek - Have you tried Melatonin to help you sleep? I find that if I take 1/2 of a 3mg dose I can sleep all the way to the alarm. If I remember to take it by 9pm (instead of 11pm when I go to bed!), I'm not groggy in the morning. You'd have to play with the dosage and times a bit. But, Melatonin is natural so maybe it would be easier to take. It may help you sleep all the way through and maybe you won't feel so much anxiety when you wake up. Just a thought!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>The 5 mg is easier w/ side effects than when I started the 10 mg, but still having bad morning anxiety. It's really almost unbearable, but I'm not comfortable taking a sedative in the morning before I drive to work. I wake up about 2 hours before my alarm goes off all panicky, worrying about everything, and if and when I drift back off to sleep, it's not restful at all. I hope this stops soon...
>
> > Tweek..how goes the battle...are you on 5mgs is that working ok for you..just checking in..Mystic
>
>
Posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 11:36:20
In reply to Re: New Lex user » nicko, posted by LynneDa on June 11, 2004, at 10:16:50
Im still here lol 2.30am YAY not, i havent taking the sedative yet, still a bit nervous, but i will, its saturday so if i sleep the whole day away it wont matter.lol do you think i could cut my medication down? i cant speak to my doc till tuesday and i honestly can;t bare to take it again later on today:(
> Good luck Nicko, let us know how you're doing tomorrow!
> ~ Lynne
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>
> Thanks Lynne and mystic, it means alot to me right now! It just sucks that i was basically ok before i started this and now everything is so much worse, i don't get that, it doesnt make sense to me.
> > i think will take a sedative cause im sick of thinking, ive had enough for one day
> >
> >
>
Posted by Tweek on June 11, 2004, at 12:59:00
In reply to RE::: Tweek » Tweek, posted by LynneDa on June 11, 2004, at 11:02:50
I think I actually considered it a long time ago. Can you recommend a good brand of Melatonin? I've heard some brands aren't as good, like the Target/Walmart brands, but not sure. Way back when I started the Paxil, I would take a whole clonazepam (.5 mg) before I went to bed, and it seemed to work, but I'm more reluctant now. I'd rather go the natural route as much as possible!
> Hi Tweek - Have you tried Melatonin to help you sleep? I find that if I take 1/2 of a 3mg dose I can sleep all the way to the alarm. If I remember to take it by 9pm (instead of 11pm when I go to bed!), I'm not groggy in the morning. You'd have to play with the dosage and times a bit. But, Melatonin is natural so maybe it would be easier to take. It may help you sleep all the way through and maybe you won't feel so much anxiety when you wake up. Just a thought!
> ~ Lynne
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Posted by LynneDa on June 11, 2004, at 13:05:50
In reply to RE::: Tweek » LynneDa, posted by Tweek on June 11, 2004, at 12:59:00
Well, actually, I think I got mine at Wal-Mart! I think it's Sundown or something like that? You can buy it in 1mg tablets as well as 3mg. Good luck!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I think I actually considered it a long time ago. Can you recommend a good brand of Melatonin? I've heard some brands aren't as good, like the Target/Walmart brands, but not sure. Way back when I started the Paxil, I would take a whole clonazepam (.5 mg) before I went to bed, and it seemed to work, but I'm more reluctant now. I'd rather go the natural route as much as possible!
>
> > Hi Tweek - Have you tried Melatonin to help you sleep? I find that if I take 1/2 of a 3mg dose I can sleep all the way to the alarm. If I remember to take it by 9pm (instead of 11pm when I go to bed!), I'm not groggy in the morning. You'd have to play with the dosage and times a bit. But, Melatonin is natural so maybe it would be easier to take. It may help you sleep all the way through and maybe you won't feel so much anxiety when you wake up. Just a thought!
> > ~ Lynne
> > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>
Posted by Tweek on June 11, 2004, at 13:20:17
In reply to RE::: Tweek » Tweek, posted by LynneDa on June 11, 2004, at 13:05:50
Hmmm, it's worth a shot! Can't wait to start therapy next week--hopefully it will help! Actually, it's one of the few things I'm pretty confident about. I know the meds alone won't fix my issues; I need to be able to deal with them on my own in a healthy way. In the meantime, proper sleep will help a bit, I'm sure! One other question, though. Has anyone noticed themselves a bit thirstier when starting the Lexapro? I can't seem to stop drinking water!
> Well, actually, I think I got mine at Wal-Mart! I think it's Sundown or something like that? You can buy it in 1mg tablets as well as 3mg. Good luck!
> ~ Lynne
> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Posted by 2gethappy on June 11, 2004, at 13:40:18
In reply to Re: New Lex user, posted by nicko on June 11, 2004, at 9:32:23
I just read your posts. I'm on day 15 of Lexapro...also for anxiety (moderate) and very mild depression. I have suffered panic disorder in the past and am VERY med phobic, so starting was scary for me, too.
I once tried Zoloft and it made me 'tired but wired' and I panicked and stopped taking it two days into it.
This time, when my new doc asked me to try Lexapro, I was really freaked, but READY to FEEL BETTER. So, I broke the pills in half and took 5mg the first 5 days. I still was very wired, yet tired those first days. And got a headache every day, too. But day 6 I felt great! Like I hadn't taken anything! So, I upped to 10 mg the next day and have been doing 10 mg ever since.
The first few days, I was so scared, I took a half a xanax with my Lexapro in the morning and a whole xanax at bedtime. But, that left me WAY too exhausted, so then I switched to just taking a xanax at bedtime. I'm still taking a xanax every night.
The first 2 nights, even with the xanax, I woke up a few times, but that quickly passed and I was so calm on the xanax that I easily went back to sleep.
It seems that most people get through the initial junk of Lexapro a lot faster than with other anti-d's so don't give up. And don't try to convince yourself that you were fine before so you should just quit...because if you were fine, you wouldn't have had the courage to take that first pill...you know? You obviously felt you were suffering the effects of the anxiety and depression.
Two weeks into it and I am feeling so much more ALIVE than I have in a longgggg time and so free from the anxiety! It is amazing!
K
> Hi all im a new lex user,
> i have been little down for a few months now and went to the dr and was told i have mild anxiety and mild depression, i took my first LEX tablet this afternoon 10mg and i have to say it took alot, i didn't want too, i almost had to force it down. sigh
>
> Within an hour or so of taking it, i felt funny, tired but unable to sleep, and alittle spaced out and TENSE, i had only slept a couple of hours the night before so i know that didn't help, so i tried to lay down and i feel asleep for about 40 minutes and when i woke i was in a major panic, i jumped out of bed and turned the light and felt horrible and took me almost 2 hours to calm down, the whole time ive felt my heart pumping ,racing, im sure you know the sensation im talking about, i felt like i was going mad!
>
> Its now night time here and im too scared to go to sleep, im not tired yet anyway, but i don't want to feel that again, i don't think I'll take it anymore if its going to make me like this, can you guys offer any help or something :(
Posted by mystic on June 11, 2004, at 16:00:24
In reply to Re: New Lex user--NICKO, posted by 2gethappy on June 11, 2004, at 13:40:18
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 11, 2004, at 23:37:52
In reply to RE: please be civil » Dr. Bob, posted by Tweek on June 10, 2004, at 11:59:14
Posted by nicko on June 12, 2004, at 0:44:39
In reply to RE: thanks (nm) » Tweek, posted by Dr. Bob on June 11, 2004, at 23:37:52
hey all im back, first question i want to know is, i just looked at my packet again and it says laxapro, not lexapro, same thing or different? LOL
thanks for your advice so far, i ended up taking a sedative lastnight (well i should say this morning) it helped but i still woke up many times but went back to sleep.when i finally decided to get up i felt terrible, massive headache, blocked nose, and worrying about everything and anything i couldn't eat and my mouth is dry, yeah i am complaining alittle too much, but i just needed to get it off my chest, i honestly feel like im going insane and all i keep thinking about is that little pill and the fact that i don't want to take it anymore, My anxiety would be about 9 just thinking about it, i wonder if its doing me more harm then good.
Ok i guess its time to come clean with myself and you guys whats really making things worse, i have a family member whom i care for and have for basically my whole life who suffers schizophrenia, its obviously in my genes so i worry about it, I've discussed that with dr's before, what are my chances most say low about 2% etc but that doesn't make me feel better, ive been told I would have shown symptoms years ago, im in my early 30s now.
What makes it real tough is i know how they think, what they worry about, what stresses them and what doesn't, if that makes sense, for example i know a certain situation would make them feel uneasy, or a horror movie would make then feel its possible true or related to them some how, so then i wonder am i feeling that too? or am i just saying that to myself? god its hard to explain! hope you guys can understand what I am trying to say, that's why taking this drug is making me feel so uneasy, i feel like it will trigger that sleeping GENE i have.sigh, lastnights panic i had scared shit out of me, i thought here i go, im going mad, I think this constant worry is what started my mild depression in the first place, that plus i had many month of ill health.Sorry for the long post guys, I just needed to get some things off my mind, its kinda coming time to take the tablet again and i don't think i can do it..*cries* this feeling really sucks.
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