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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by vandy on February 20, 2004, at 9:06:25
In reply to For Lynne, posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 21:42:46
Thank you for your thoughtful insight. This is the second post from you just today that made me say, "Wow!" Boy, do I ever appreciate hearing you say these things "out loud."
> Lynne:
>
> Thanks for your response. It's always pleasant to read your messages.
>
> As usual, your post a couple of days ago had a wonderfully gutsy, honest look at what you're dealing with. You said..."I am at a scary point because I am feeling the depression and anxiety lifting, but still have my other problems to deal with. It's like peeling back the layers of an onion. The outer hard layer is almost gone (the hormonally induced stuff), but now I have the inner layers to peel back - the behavioral, decision-making, confrontational side . . . the work I've been putting off for the past year or so! I guess it's step by step and day by day. I can't hope to fix everything in one fell swoop."
>
> Absolutely. A noble and worthy endeavor. We didn't get depressed in a day, and we won't get out of it in a day. But we can work at it every day and even learn to enjoy the journey. One of the struggles I've always had is trying to be somehow perfect - whatever that would be. I've always viewed my 'flaws' as something to eradicate, avoid, ignore, or use as self-flagellation material. No longer. I welcome the 'dark deities' into my life, ask them to sit down and converse with me, and find out what I can learn from them. They have something to teach me about myself.
>
> You're a good soul Lynne; deep and wise.
>
> May your journey continue to include the light you've obviously benefited from, and may the darkness teach you what the light can't.
>
> Journeyman
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:09:09
In reply to For Mrs C, posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 20:47:27
Thanks Richard, I will look for that book. I am in school presently taking psychology and am learning a great deal but this board is a wealth of support and information for me. Mrs. C.
Posted by vandy on February 20, 2004, at 9:11:30
In reply to Re: to all novice lex-er, posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:04:04
You people are all wonderful. The messages you post are real and revealing, sharing and open, thoughtful and informative. All of you are a gift to me. You have my thanks, my prayers and my love.
Vandy
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:17:54
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
Wayne, Thanks so much for your encouraging post! I am so happy for you that you have gotten your life back. Funny how we all appreciate happiness so much more when we have experienced that dark side. Maybe we should consider ourselves lucky. There are many people out there who go their whole lives searching for happiness when it's always been there!
I have a question for you. In your post you described "shaking" as a prior symptom. Could you please go into that further with me. I also experienced that before starting Lexapro and it still bothers me that I may have something wrong with my nervouse system. Any thoughts? By the way, taking Lexapro has caused some jitteriness with me but it has become very transient. I only worry about the feeling before starting Lex. Is it a symptom of anxiety? Sorry for being so long winded but I am so glad to hear of another person describe that feeling that I had to jump on it. Mrs. C
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:21:02
In reply to Did remember to say I love you?, posted by vandy on February 20, 2004, at 9:11:30
I ditto Vandy! I have been thinking that too this morning but was afraid to sound "weird". Thanks for expressing it Vandy and I feel the same way. The people on this board are like a family to me and I want you all to know how much you mean to me. Thanks! Mrs. C
P.S. Lord, that was mushy!
Posted by LynneDa on February 20, 2004, at 9:32:39
In reply to For Lynne, posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 21:42:46
Journeyman -
What a perfect name for you! I appreciate your kind & inspiring words. I really like the idea of inviting your "dark deities" in for a conversation and trying to learn from them! I enjoy that kind of self-analysis and will put that on my to-do list for my therapy time.It is so true that depression evolved over a long time and the solution(s) may take just as long, if not longer, to make themselves known. Thanks for that reminder!
I have a perfectionist/pleasing streak - being the first-born daughter and having an emotionally-distant father with very high expectations (who changed considerably over the years, thank goodness, allowing us both some measure of healing). Trying to accept my inability to do everything right, keep everyone happy and control all outcomes is the biggest struggle of my adult life. Slowly but surely I'm getting over that need!
Take care and have a wonderful weekend!
~ Lynne
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Lynne:
>
> Thanks for your response. It's always pleasant to read your messages.
>
> As usual, your post a couple of days ago had a wonderfully gutsy, honest look at what you're dealing with. You said..."I am at a scary point because I am feeling the depression and anxiety lifting, but still have my other problems to deal with. It's like peeling back the layers of an onion. The outer hard layer is almost gone (the hormonally induced stuff), but now I have the inner layers to peel back - the behavioral, decision-making, confrontational side . . . the work I've been putting off for the past year or so! I guess it's step by step and day by day. I can't hope to fix everything in one fell swoop."
>
> Absolutely. A noble and worthy endeavor. We didn't get depressed in a day, and we won't get out of it in a day. But we can work at it every day and even learn to enjoy the journey. One of the struggles I've always had is trying to be somehow perfect - whatever that would be. I've always viewed my 'flaws' as something to eradicate, avoid, ignore, or use as self-flagellation material. No longer. I welcome the 'dark deities' into my life, ask them to sit down and converse with me, and find out what I can learn from them. They have something to teach me about myself.
>
> You're a good soul Lynne; deep and wise.
>
> May your journey continue to include the light you've obviously benefited from, and may the darkness teach you what the light can't.
>
> Journeyman
Posted by Jayslace on February 20, 2004, at 9:35:07
In reply to Re: Did remember to say I love you?, posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 9:21:02
I have to say thank you, too, Vandy. I have posted in quite awhile, mostly because I have been going through the winter blues. I had a very bad day last Friday. 3 hours of crying. I had to call my psychologist to help me get out of it. I didn't want to take a Xanax. She talked to me for about 15 minutes, then we realized my favorite show (Columbo) had just come on. I was to open up a can of Coke, sit down and watch that show. In the mean time she would call me back in an hour.
While watching the show, I mended 3 items that needed done. I thought of nothing that made me cry. What I was previously crying about was remembering my brain tumors (back in 2001) and what all I have lost(memories, loss of driving, etc.) Lex helps me 99% of the time. But having something so tragic as those tumors and the 5 min death of the pulmonary embolism, my docs say it's always bound to make me upset at times. Understandable.
But this site, and all of you guys make me feel so good. Just sitting back and reading all the good things and seeing newcomers , it's just so good. I'm also on Klonipin now for sleep. I take it at 7:30 pm, By 11pm, I'm ready for sleep, and by morning it's out of my system enough I'm not groggy. The Ambien just wasn't working for me anymore.
And right now? I'm getting ready to take a shower and go out to lunch with some of my gal friends! Yep, I'm getting out of the house!! So, I'm feeling better , and I love this feeling. It's 50 degrees, rainy, but you all bring the sun to me.
Love, health and friendship,
Ruthie
Posted by Samm on February 20, 2004, at 10:22:10
In reply to Re: Feeling Flat on Lexapro, posted by tmhwrite on February 19, 2004, at 15:47:10
In response to feeling "flat", I went to see my doctor this week and he said the main thing he is trying to avoid is giving me a dosage of Lex that will make me feel no emotion at all or "flat". (Just to remind you, I'm the new member of the "Lex club" and taking it for my anxiety and panic attacks). Anyway, he told me that too much "Lex" can often do it. Just something to keep observing I guess.
I haven't hit the magic numbers yet of when the Lex will start taking full effect, but I have a question for everyone...are headaches a common side effect? I've been having SO MANY headaches lately. I really like what I've heard about the Lex so far, so I don't want to stop taking it. Has anybody else had this problem and does it go away?
Thanks!
Sam
Posted by Samm on February 20, 2004, at 10:34:22
In reply to to all novice lex-er, posted by sexylexy on February 19, 2004, at 16:24:46
Thanks for your encouragement, Lexy. And, no need to apologize--you need a place to vent and what better place than here, to people who can understand what you're going through and offer support and encouraging words. :)
Posted by linnie on February 20, 2004, at 11:05:07
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
>I am relatively new to lex. I am glad you are doing so well.That's encouraging. How long was it before you began to feel better? How much lex are you taking?
You mentioned other boards that sound like they are also helpful. WHat are they?linnie
I have been on lexapro for a little over a year. I dont post as much as I used to but still read the posts time to time. I post on a lot on other boards though. I am still doing very good. Havent had a panic attack in over a year. Depression is completely gone. I only get minor anxiety every now and then. I think its just normal anxiety that anyone would get. But I am just more aware of it because of what I went through. Not bad for a person who a year ago was suicidal, housebound, afraid to be alone, spent 3 months in the ER, didnt drive for 6 months, couldnt eat, had tremors and was shaking so bad people thought I had a muscle disease. Thats just a small bit of what I went through. I dont take xanax during the day anymore. As far as quitting the lexapro???? Seems kind of stupid to quit something that gave me my life back and gives me zero side effects. So I shall take it till I die!!!!!!!!!! <:-)
> WAYNE
Posted by lil' jimi on February 20, 2004, at 12:24:37
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
hey wayne,
great to hear you're still doing good, man ...
i'm still good here ... and nearly a year too ...take care!!!
~ jimp.s. i'm yellowdogjim at the yahoo dot "calm" ..... (ha!)
..... email me anytime
Posted by LynneDa on February 20, 2004, at 13:32:17
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
CONGRATS & WOW! It is really amazing how far you've come, when you summarize it like that. It gives me hope that this can work for a long period of time without having to make a change. It sounds like you are really enjoying your life and that's what it's all about, isn't it?!?!
~ Lynne
Posted by marfaith on February 20, 2004, at 13:34:06
In reply to Re: Hope in the Works, posted by mrs c on February 16, 2004, at 14:38:14
> Richard, So glad to hear that you are doing better. What a difference eleven weeks can make. You have been such a great supportive voice to me throughout my daily struggles and I hope you continue to visit this board!
>
> To everyone,
> I feel that my struggle is not yet over. Recently some of those old creepy feelings that things aren't right are coming back into my days. I can't really pin-point what is wrong, I just feel uneasy and worried. I may be at the point where I need to up my dosage a little bit. I have been at 10mg for 4 months now. Just these past few weeks the bad thoughts have been trying to come back more and more. This is so hard for me to admit but I know that I am safe with all of you. I'm so afraid that I will come to the point where I was in the beginning which was constantly dreading the day because of my fear of serious illness. Every little syptom I would have I would run to my medical book or the internet and obsess constantly about what illness I could have. Sleep was my only escape from my thoughts. Irrational, yes, totally, but so real to me when it takes over! I see my doc March 3rd and will wait until then to see if this passes or if I may need more help. I also plan to consult a therapist like so many of you do. I really believe that I need the extra help with my coping skills to try and change my way of dealing with these thoughts. Any advice that any of you can give will be so greatly appreciated. You all have been so comforting to me over these past months and I continue to rely on you. Bye for now. Mrs. CMrs C, I can totally understand what you are saying. When I was reading your post, it was like I was reading about me. It is hell to feel that way and all you do want to do is sleep. I started on Lex this past Tuesday. I am hoping it works as well for me as it has for others I know. I was on Remeron, but the 32 lb weight gain in three months was not good. Good luck to you. Marfaith
Posted by KathrynLex on February 20, 2004, at 13:46:47
In reply to LEXAPRO ONE YEAR UPDATE, posted by BLKVETTES on February 20, 2004, at 4:50:35
Wayne,
Wow, what a fantastic success story! It's very inspiring and I'm very happy that you've found happiness again.
K.
Posted by Gator on February 20, 2004, at 13:54:12
In reply to Re: Feeling Flat on Lexapro, posted by Samm on February 20, 2004, at 10:22:10
Samm,
Headaches are a side effect of Lex. When I first started I got terrible headaches. I took 2 Excedrin Migraine pills the minute I got out of bed in the morning and continued throughout the day. It lasted 2 or 3 weeks and all of a sudden it stopped. Now and then I get a whopper of a headache, but I don't know if it's from Lexapro or just the stress of life. My suggestion to you is find something that helps your headache go away and stick it out. I've been on Lex for almost 5 months now and I am feeling really good. Good Luck, and keep us posted how you are doing.
Gator
Posted by KathrynLex on February 20, 2004, at 13:58:46
In reply to For K » KathrynLex, posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 21:51:48
Hi Richard,
Thanks for the little note. It brightened my day. You're right about the mind-body connection. It's sad that much of our culture seems to have ignored that there are very strong ties between physical and mental health.
I wish you well.
K.
Posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 14:00:14
In reply to Re: Hope in the Works, posted by marfaith on February 20, 2004, at 13:34:06
Thanks, Marfaith I really appreciate your support. Good luck on your journey. Mrs. C
Posted by KathrynLex on February 20, 2004, at 14:04:44
In reply to Re: Hello, from a novice Lex-er, posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 8:58:49
Hi Mrs. C,
I'm sorry to hear that you aren't doing better. Backsliding can be especially frustrating when you've been feeling well for so long. I know exactly what you mean about feeling fragile. I spent many, many months like that. But, you've survived through worse...so remember that even though you feel fragile, you're quite strong.
Your doc appt is right around the corner. In the meantime take good care of yourself...and you're in my thoughts.
K.
Posted by lil' jimi on February 20, 2004, at 14:40:50
In reply to re: *POOP-OUT* » lil' jimi, posted by Mariposa on January 17, 2004, at 11:50:33
thinking of you, my comrade-in-lex ...
~ jim
Posted by tmhwrite on February 20, 2004, at 14:47:20
In reply to Re: Hope in the Works, posted by mrs c on February 20, 2004, at 14:00:14
I appreciate all the messages on this board. I actually have good news today. I was able to make it to an interview today and felt confident and good, even though I had to hide my shaky hands under the table. I was able to carry on a good conversation with coherent thought processes. The interviewer (a placement agency for tech writers) was impressed with my skills and is looking for a position for me. Just to get out in the real world again felt great. And while I was gone, another recruiter called with some possible positions available. So hopefully I'll be back at work soon! I feel calm for the first time in several months. What a great feeling!
In regards to the headaches, I have experienced that as well, but it does seem to go away after a week or two, so hang in there and try some headache medicine that works for you.
Cheers//Theresa
Posted by LynneDa on February 20, 2004, at 15:01:40
In reply to Sounds like lots of ups and downs, posted by tmhwrite on February 20, 2004, at 14:47:20
Way to go Theresa! Getting through an interview successfully is an accomplishment. It sounds like you're on your way!
~ Lynne
Posted by tmhwrite on February 20, 2004, at 16:54:04
In reply to Re: Sounds like lots of ups and downs » tmhwrite, posted by LynneDa on February 20, 2004, at 15:01:40
I don't know how many of you watch Charlie Rose, but on the first part of his show tonight he's going to have three eminent doctors discussing fear and stress and how it affects the human brain. (The second half is on the Sport Illustrated swimsuit calendar maker, so you may want to turn it off at that point or risk getting even more severely depressed!) Just thought it might be interesting to see what they have to say. It comes on here in Dallas at midnight, so I'll probably have to tape it.
Theresa
Posted by Journeyman on February 20, 2004, at 22:31:56
In reply to For Mrs C, posted by Journeyman on February 19, 2004, at 20:47:27
Lynne,
I understand very well what you mean about the perfectionist/pleasing streak. My whole life, until very, very recently, I have labored to find my identity. Unfortunately, I looked for it in other people; that's to say, if they liked me or approved, then I was okay, and if they didn't, then there was something wrong with me and I had to adjust/change.
What an awful way to live. And how ironic that the more I tried to be something that other people wanted, the less I was myself. I was disappearing.
My new definition of being perfect is someone who fully accepts that they're not. And when they don't, they let that be okay too.
Came across a couple of good quotes today related to this and the last e-mail:
Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them. -- Brendan Francis
Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him [or her] who has the vision to recognize it as such. -- Henry Miller
Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets. -- Clark Moustakas
Happiness can exist only in acceptance. -- Denis De Rougamont
May self-contentment be yours, as your embrace your scars, bruises, and foibles - as well as your beauty that's so evident here on the board.Journeyman
Posted by Bubbasmom on February 21, 2004, at 0:21:13
In reply to Re: Sounds like lots of ups and downs » tmhwrite, posted by LynneDa on February 20, 2004, at 15:01:40
Hello everyone. I went looking for info on Lexapro and I found all of you. I just wanted to say hello and thank you (already). I have learned a lot just reading your previous posts. You all seem to be very supportive of one another. It was a great surprise to find you. My pdoc put me on lexapro today. I am still feeling like a big failure that can't cope with her own life and had to resort to drug therapy. I had to do something, though, and I am trying to see this as a positive thing - I am still taking steps to try to make things better even though my previous attempts have all failed. This is my first experience with ad's and I am hoping that all of you will accept me as a contributor because I could really use all the additional support that I can get! I just thought I'd post a hello today. It is day one and I have been on Lexapro for about 6 hours now. I wish the results were immediate!
Posted by Hans on February 21, 2004, at 1:13:49
In reply to New to the board and to Lexapro, posted by Bubbasmom on February 21, 2004, at 0:21:13
Hi. My Dr put me on Lexapro because of a depressed episode that started about six weeks prior. I had been doing really good and was pretty upset with myself for having no motivation and sleeping a lot to escape the world. I've been on mood stabilizers for a while now but haven't been taking any anti-depressants for some time. It seemed too much of a coincidence but the day after I started taking (10mg)Lexapro, I started feeling hyperactive and actually really good. I saw my Dr. yesterday after taking the Lexapro for two weeks and had to admit I hadn't had a bad day since I started this med. I don't have any problems going to sleep at night because I just take my seroquil. I do find myself staying up much later, not taking naps during the day anymore, and rambling more than usual. I read on some other message boards from people talking about Lexapro side-effects that this was a horrible med but quite frankly, I haven't experienced any of the negative effects they were talking about except for difficulty ejaculating.
For some odd reason, I almost feel guilty for feeling so good and I'm a little concerned that this feeling will go away sooner or later. This is the first time it appears that a med is making a significant difference in the way I feel. I have to ask myself: "is this real or am I just really crazy?"
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